Friday, March 23, 2012

" WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO BE DOING NOW"?

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AROUND 1AM TO THE SOUND OF MIKE CALLING ME.  HE HAD GOTTEN UP OUT OF BED AND WALKED INTO THE BATH ROOM CARRYING HIS NIGHT TIME FOLEY BAG, AND LOOKING PUZZLED.  I TRIED TALKING WITH HIM FOR A WHILE AS HE ALSO SEEMED A LITTLE AGITATED.  I GOT HIM BACK TO BED, AND GAVE HIM MORE PAIN MEDS. AS HE WAS VISIBLY IN A LOT OF LEG PAIN.  HE TALKED FOR A WHILE WHICH I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, AND THEN FELL BACK TO SLEEP.  I ALSO WENT BACK TO SLEEP, BUT WOKE UP WITH A SPLITTING HEAD HEAD.  I FELT LIKE MY BRAIN WAS GOING TO EXPLODE.  I THEN REMEMBERED I FORGOT TO TAKE ALL MY PILLS LAST NIGHT, SO I TOOK HALF OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE PILL IN CASE THAT WAS THE PROBLEM, AND ALSO ONE ASPIRIN.  MIKE GOT UP AROUND 10AM, AND I GAVE HIM HIS HOT CHOCOLATE, O.J., CEREAL WITH A BANANA IN IT, AND ALL HIS MEDS..  I JUST TOOK MY MORNING MEDS., BUT STILL HAVE NOT FED MY POOR DOGIES, AND IT IS ALREADY 10:30AM.  AS MY FUNNY FATHER USE TO SAY "THEIR STOMACH'S GOING TO THINK THEIR THROAT HAS BEEN CUT" IF I DON'T FEED THEM PRETTY SOON!! WELL, I AM STILL NOT UP TO SNUFF FOR SOME REASON THIS AM.  I HOPE I GET TO FEELING BETTER AS THE DAY GOES ON, AS THERE IS ALWAYS SO MANY THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF.  I COULD SURE USE A NAP TODAY-HOPE I CAN GET ONE LATER.  GREAT!! HERE'S THE GUY TO DO THE HOUSE APPRAISAL, AND I AM NOT DRESSED!!  I FORGOT HE WAS COMING BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A STRANGE MORNING FOR ME.  THE HOSPICE DR. WAS HERE YESTERDAY, AND WAS VERY SWEET, BUT HIS MESSAGE WAS NOT.  HE TRIED TO SAY THINGS AS NICELY AS POSSIBLE, BUT THE END RESULT WAS THAT MIKE IS NOT DOING WELL.  HE WILL CONTINUE TO NEED MORE AND MORE PAIN MED. TO KEEP HIS PAIN DOWN, AND THAT WILL CAUSE HIM TO SLEEP MORE AND MORE AND EAT LESS AND LESS UNTIL HE PASSES.  THE DR. CALLED IT "A JOURNEY", I CALL IT A DEATH MARCH.  I KNOW IN MY MIND THAT THIS IS ALL TRUE, BUT SEEING HIM EVERYDAY TRYING SO HARD TO WALK JUST BREAKS MY HEART. YESTERDAY MIKE NEVER GOT OUT OF BED UNTIL 6PM, HE ATE DINNER, AND THEN SHORTLY THEIR AFTER WENT RIGHT BACK TO BED AND TO SLEEP.  I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE NEW SYSTEM GETS HERE, AND HE IS RESURRECTED BACK TO LIFE AND PREFECT-NO MORE PAINFUL LEGS.  HE WILL ALSO BE SO DELIGHTED TO SEE HIS FATHER AGAIN AS I KNOW HE REALLY LOVED HIM.  THEN I WILL GET TO MEET HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME AS WELL!!  I GUESS THE ONLY THING TO DO IS TO APPRECIATE THE DAYS WE HAVE, AND LOOK FORWARD TO UNENDING DAYS IN PERFECT HEALTH.  TREASURE YOUR HEALTH THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT!!  JUST ME

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