MY FIRST NIGHT WITH MIKE'S URN IN THE ROOM

I HAD A LITTLE ROUGH SPOT IN THE BEGINNING OF THE NIGHT.  I JUST KEEP LOOKING AT HIS PICTURE, AND FOR NO OTHER REASON THE TEARS STARTED TO FLOW.  I COULD NOT HELP BUT REMEMBER JUST A SHORT TIME AGO HE WAS NEXT TO ME IN BED HOLDING MY HAND TILL HE FELL ASLEEP.  I SURE DIDN'T KNOW THEN HOW SHORT A TIME WE WOULD HAVE LEFT.  I AM THANKFUL THAT I DID NOT ENTRUST HIS CARE TO ANY ONE ELSE EXCEPT ON MAYBE TWO OR THREE OCCASIONS WHEN I HAD DR.'S APPOINTMENTS, OR SERVICE.  MOST OF THE TIME HE WAS WITH ME OR WITH FAMILY, AND THAT COMFORTS ME.  HE NEVER HAD TO LEAVE HIS HOME EITHER, WITCH IS ANOTHER HUGE PLUS.  SO MANY IN HIS CONDITION HAVE TO WIND UP IN A HOSPICE HOME, BUT MIKE NEVER DID. IN FACT, HE NEVER EVEN KNEW HE WAS IN HOSPICE CARE UNTIL MAYBE THE VERY END.  I DON'T KNOW WHY SOME DAYS ARE JUST HARDER THAN OTHERS.  I DO STILL TRY TO STAY VERY BUSY, AND I GO OVER TO MY SISTER VICKIE'S ALMOST EVERY DAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE.  MY DOGIES ARE ALSO A HUGE COMFORT TO ME.  THEY LOVE GOING OVER TO MY SISTER'S HOUSE, AND LOVE GOING ANY WHERE IN THE CAR.  THEY ARE REALLY SPECIAL.  MIKE SURE DID LOVE THEM!!  ANY HOW TODAY I HAVE A DR'S APPOINTMENT THIS A.M., SO I NEED TO START GETTING DRESSED.  MORNINGS GO FASTER FOR ME THAN ANY OTHER TIME OF THE DAY!!  I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AND SO LITTLE DESIRE YET.  I FINALLY PUT ONE OF MY CLOTHES CONTAINERS AWAY YESTERDAY.  THEY ARE STILL STACKS ON TOP OF THE BEDS IN THE OTHER TWO GUEST ROOMS EVER SINCE WE CHANGED OUT MY BED ROOM SET.  I HAVE TWO PICTURES I WANTED TO RESTORE TOO, BUT I JUST LACK THE DESIRE.  I HOPE AND PRAY THAT AS TIME GOES ON MY PAIN WILL LESSEN AS EVERY ONE TELLS ME IT WILL.  HE WAS A HARD MAN TO UNDERSTAND AT TIMES, BUT HE NEVER WAVERED IN HIS LOVE FOR ME OR FOR HIS CHILDREN.  THE LAST YEARS HE WAS SO MELLOW, AND THAT IS HOW I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM.  WELL I REALLY DO HAVE TO GO NOW, SO TILL TOMORROW-DON'T FORGET TO PRAY-WE ALL NEED IT!!  JUST ME