WE'RE OFF!!

HELLO, AND WE WILL BE GONE UNTIL WEDS. THE THIRD.  IT IS OUR 42ND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, AND WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH (ONE OF MIKE'S FAVORITE THINGS TO DO).  WE HAVE ALWAYS LOVED WALKING ALONG THE BEACH AND PICKING UP SHELLS.  SURE HOPE WE FIND SOME-JUST ME

" DO WE HAVE ANY ( long pause) YOU KNOW " ?

I DID KNOW WHAT MIKE WAS ASKING FOR, AS HE WAS MAKING A MOTION WITH HIS HANDS, AND KINDA RUBBING THE TABLE.  YES, HE WANTED THE SPRAY WAX PLEDGE.  I TOLD HIM IT WAS UNDER THE SINK, AND THAT'S WHEN THE FUN BEGAN.  I SAY FUN, BECAUSE I TRY AND FIND HUMOR WHERE OTHER WISE THERE WOULD BE SADNESS.  MIKE FIRST PULLS OUT THE CARPET CLEANER AND SAYS "IS THIS IT"?  NO HONEY, THAT'S THE CARPET CLEANER. MIKE PUTS THAT BACK UNDER THE SINK, AND NOW PULLS OUT A BOX OF MR. CLEAN MAGIC SPONGES.  "IS THIS IT"? NO HONEY, YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A CAN OF PLEDGE, THOSE ARE SPONGES.  BEFORE HE CAN GIVE UP OR GET UPSET I WILL USUALLY HAVE TO GO FIND WHATEVER IT IS THAT HE WANTS FOR HIM.  IT CAN BE SOMETHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AND YET HE DOES NOT SEE IT FOR SOME REASON.  THIS HAS HAPPENED MANY TIMES BEFORE WITH MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.  HE MAY WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE DENTAL FLOSS IS.  I TELL HIM EXACTLY WHERE TO FIND IT, AND YET HE WILL COME BACK TO ME IN A FEW MINUTES WITH "I CAN'T FIND IT", SO OFF I GO RIGHT TO WHERE I TOLD HIM IT WOULD BE AND HAND IT TO HIM.  HE IS ALWAYS VERY APOLOGETIC FOR HAVING TO GET MY HELP, BUT I JOKINGLY TELL HIM THAT'S WHAT I AM PAID FOR.  I'M NOT REALLY LIKING THIS LATEST CHANGE OF HIM USING HIS HANDS TO TRY AND TELL ME WHAT HE WANTS.  I WAS NEVER VERY GOOD AT CHARADES, AND I'M AFRAID IF I DON'T GET WHAT HE IS TRYING TO SAY HE MAY STOP SPEAKING ALL TOGETHER.  HE WILL ALREADY SAY "JUST FORGET IT" IF HE CAN'T COME UP WITH A WORD, OR A THOUGHT, AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT BY WHAT LITTLE HE GIVES ME TO GO ON.  I TRY AND NOT LOOK TOO FAR AHEAD TO THE FUTURE, AS NONE OF US KNOWS WHAT LIES AHEAD.  IN MIKE'S CASE, I AM HOPING FOR A CURE.  I DO KNOW THAT THE ALZHEIMER'S ASSOCIATION IS DOING IT'S PART TO RAISE AWARENESS AND FUNDS FOR THAT VERY PURPOSE.  SPEAKING OF WHICH, I HOPE MANY OF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO JOIN US IN OUR WALK IN OCT. . THERE IS A LINK FURTHER DOWN ON MY BLOG THAT EXPLAINS ALL ABOUT IT. IT EVEN HAS PICTURES OF MIKE AND I FROM A PREVIOUS WALK!!  THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, WISHING YOU A SPLENDID DAY-TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" WHAT IS THIS "??

THAT'S WHAT MIKE SAID LAST NIGHT AT DINNER WHILE HE WAS HOLDING UP A SPARE RIB!!  I ASKED HIM "HONEY, DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TASTE LIKE OR LOOKS LIKE", AND HE SAID "I'M NOT SURE".  SO I TOLD HIM IT WAS A SPARE RIB.  THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF SPARE RIB IT WAS.  SINCE I ONLY BUY PORK SPARE RIBS, I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED AGAIN, THAT HE DID NOT RECOGNIZE A SPARE RIB..  NOT AS SURPRISED HOWEVER AS WHEN HE HELD UP A SHRIMP, AND ASKED ME WHAT THAT WAS!!  I TOLD HIM WHAT IT WAS, BUT I KINDA LOST MY APPETITE AFTER THAT.  THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MIKE IS HE NEVER SEEMS TO BE UPSET OR BOTHERED ABOUT ANY OF HIS MEMORY LOSS.  HE DOES NOT GET EMBARRASSED WHEN HE MAKES MISTAKES WHEN WE ARE PLAYING A GAME, OR WHEN HE CAN'T THINK OF A WORD HE IS TRYING TO SAY, HE JUST TAKES EVERYTHING IN HIS STRIDE.  I THINK A GOOD WAY TO SUM IT UP IS THAT MIKE HAS BECOME HUMBLE.   HE HAS TROUBLE WITH READING TOO, AND ESPECIALLY LOOKING AT A LARGE NUMBER AND SAYING IT CORRECTLY.  I GUESS THAT IS ALL PART OF THIS AWFUL DISEASE OF ALZHEIMER'S.  WE WILL BE GOING AWAY NEXT MONDAY AND TUES. FOR OUR 42 WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.  MIKE STILL LOVES TO WALK ALONG THE BEACH AND COLLECT SHELLS, SO I'M SURE THAT IS WHAT WE WILL BE DOING NEXT WEEK.  HOPE YOUR WEEK WILL BE FILLED WITH KINDNESS-TILL LATER-JUST ME

" I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM CURT IN A LONG TIME "

I THINK IT WAS BECAUSE TERRY CALLED (ALSO AN OLD FRIEND) THAT CAUSED MIKE TO SAY THE ABOVE.  HE THEN ADDED "I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACH HIM CAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS NOW"".  I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM THAT CURTIS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW, AND WE EVEN WENT TO HIS FUNERAL.  HE WILL SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT ANOTHER FRIEND THAT HAS ALSO PASSED AWAY-HERB.  I GUESS IT SHOULD NOT COME AS SUCH A SURPRISE TO ME THAT HE WOULD FORGET THAT SOME OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE PASSED ON-HE EVEN FORGETS THAT MY DAD COMMITTED SUICIDE, AND WE WERE THE ONES THAT FOUND HIM!!  SOME DAYS ARE OF COURSE BETTER THAN OTHERS, AND NIGHTS ARE USUALLY THE WORST FOR MIKE.  I BELIEVE THE NAME FOR THAT IS SUN DOWNERS.  MIKE DOES REMEMBER TERRY AND DAR WHO CALLED LAST NIGHT.  I'M NOT TOO SURE WHAT OR HOW MUCH  HE REMEMBERS ABOUT THEM, BUT I'M GLAD HE DOES.  HE IS TALKING A LOT LESS THESE DAYS-MAYBE COMING UP WITH CONVERSATION IS HARDER  FOR HIM NOW.  HE WILL OFTEN HAND ME THE PHONE AFTER ONLY A FEW MINUTES.  MIKE IS ALSO WALKING SLOWER THESE DAYS, WITH A BIT OF A SHUFFLE.  PERHAPS HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT FALLING.  I THINK THAT IS A GENUINE FEAR MOST OLDER PEOPLE HAVE.  HE STILL WALKS THE DOGS TWICE A DAY, AND YARD WORK IS STILL HIS FAVORITE PASS TIME.  NOW HE WILL GO BACK OUTSIDE AFTER DINNER AND WORK IN THE YARD UNTIL DARK.  HE SEEMS TO CARE LITTLE ABOUT SPORTS GAMES NOW WHICH IS SO ODD, AS HE WOULD WATCH ANY AND EVERYTHING WITH A BALL IN IT BEFORE.  WHO KNOWS WHAT OTHER CHANGES LIE AHEAD, BUT IT IS A ROAD WE WILL TRAVEL TOGETHER HOLDING HANDS UNTIL THE END.. WELL TIME FOR ME TO CHEER UP AND GET DRESSED.  HOPE YOUR DAY WILL BE FILLED WITH HAPPY THOUGHTS.  JUST ME

" YOU'RE MY FAVORITE RIDE "!!

MIKE IS ALL FULL OF COMPLIMENTS LATELY.  WHERE WAS THIS MAN 35 YEARS AGO WHEN I WOULD HAVE STOOD ON MY HEAD FOR A KIND WORD??  HE HAS BECOME SO SWEET AND SO THOUGHTFUL THAT IT IS HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE AT TIMES THAT HE EVEN HAS ALZHEIMER'S.  THEN REALITY SETS IN.  LAST NIGHT WE WENT OUT TO EAT WITH MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER FONDA AND HER HUSBAND ART-THEIR TREAT!   MIKE WAS MOSTLY QUIET DURING THE MEAL EXCEPT FOR A COUPLE OUTBURST WHEN THE WAITRESS TRIED TO TAKE AWAY THE BLOOMING ONION BEFORE HE HAD FINISHED IT.  ALSO WHEN HE WAS READY TO GO ( THE WAITRESS WAS TAKING A LONG TIME TO GIVE US THE CHECK AND GET PAID) HE JUST SAID IN A PRETTY LOUD VOICE "LET ME OUT OF HERE".  NEXT WHEN WE GOT HOME, OUR OTHER SON IN LAW MIKE AND OUR GRAND SON CANYON CAME OVER TO PLAY SOME PHASE 10.  I THINK IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY BOTH COULD REALLY SEE HOW BAD MIKE GETS AT NIGHT.  HE KEPT ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER, AND KEPT TRYING TO DO THE SAME (WRONG) THINGS OVER AND OVER.  HE IS VERY EASILY CONFUSED AT NIGHT, AND HAD A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING  ALMOST ANYTHING NO MATTER HOW SIMPLE IT MAY SEEM TO US.  HOWEVER , WHEN WE WENT TO BED, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD A GOOD DAY.   HE SAID "YES, DID YOU"?  ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I AM TRULY HAPPY THAT HE IS STILL ABLE TO ENJOY LIFE AND NOT BE UPSET OVER THE THINGS HE CAN NO LONGER DO OR DO WELL.  I WONDER IF I WOULD BE THAT GRACIOUS UNDER THE SAME SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES..  SOMETHING TO PONDER!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" HOW OLD AM I "?

YESTERDAY OUT OF NO WHERE MIKE ASKED ME HOW OLD HE WAS.  I ASKED HIM WHY?  HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  HE SAID 78.  I SAID CLOSE, BUT YOU WON'T BE 78 TILL YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY.  HE THEN WANTED TO KNOW WHY.  HE SAID I WAS 77 BUT NOW I'M 78 RIGHT?  AGAIN I HAVE TO REMIND HIM THAT HE IS STILL 77 UNTIL HIS NEXT BIRTHDAY IN OCT..HE SEEMED TO FINALLY ACCEPT THAT.  THEN WE WENT TO OUR ONCOLOGIST.  MOST OF OUR DOCTORS ARE THE SAME OR AT LEAST IN THE SAME OFFICE.  ANY HOW THE NURSE AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT MY WEIGHT-IT HAD GONE UP, BUT MIKE'S HAD GONE DOWN.  MIKE WAS APPARENTLY NOT ABLE TO HEAR OUR CONVERSATION SO THE NURSE USING HER THUMB MAKES A DOWNWARD MOTION AND TELLS MIKE YOUR GOING DOWN!!  WELL AS SOON AS SHE LEFT THE ROOM MIKE LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS "WHAT DID SHE MEAN-I 'M GOING DOWN"  I TOLD HIM SHE ONLY MEANT THAT YOUR WEIGHT HAS COME DOWN SINCE YOU WERE HERE LAST.  THEN MIKE SAYS "SHEW, I THOUGHT SHE MEANT I WAS GOING TO HELL"!!  HIS MIND WORKS IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY THAN IT USE TO, AND I NEVER KNOW FOR SURE WHAT WILL COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH NEXT!!  TODAY WE WILL HAVE OUR GRANDSON CANYON WITH US.  HE WILL BE 15 YEARS OLD SOON, AND STILL LIKES TO COME OVER AND SEE US.  MIKE SAYS " WE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING RIGHT, ALL OUR KIDS STILL SPEAK TO US-GRAND KIDS TOO"!!  I'M NOT ALL THAT SURE THAT WE DID THINGS RIGHT, BUT I AM SURE THAT WE TRIED. I THINK YOU TEND TO DO A LITTLE BETTER WITH EACH CHILD.  WITH THE FIRST, YOU ARE SCARED OF EVERYTHING!! THEN BY THE TIME THE NEXT ONE COMES, YOU DON'T RUSH TO THE ER FOR A SCRAPED KNEE.  BY THE TIME THE THIRD ONE GETS HERE, YOU HAVE LEARNED HOW TO TELL A SPRAINED FOOT FROM A BROKEN ONE, AND YOU CAN EVEN DO CPR IF THEY STOP BREATHING!!!  LIKE THE SAYING GOES, LIVE & LEARN-AND MOST OF US DO. HOPE YOU HAVE A FUN FILLED DAY-WE SHOULD TOO!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" EVER BEEN TO GAIL'S HOUSE " ?

YESTERDAY THESE WERE THE SERIES OF QUESTIONS MIKE ASKED ME ABOUT.  FIRST, HAVE WE EVER BEEN TO GAIL'S HOUSE, NEXT, WAS IT DECENT?  THEN HE GOES ON TO ASK DOES IT HAVE A BED ROOM AND A BATH ROOM?  NEXT QUESTION WAS DOES SHE OWN IT OR RENT IT?  HE ALSO ASKED MANY OF THE SAME QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER FONDA'S HOUSE.  HE WANTED TO KNOW IF WE WERE EVER THERE, AND IF IT WAS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS OURS.  MIKE JUST ASKED ME "DID THOSE GOOFY GUYS GET ALL THERE STUFF PUT AWAY"? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOOFY MEN HE WAS TALKING ABOUT. THEN HE SAID HE HAS A PROBLEM-I DO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, SO I MUST GET TO THE BED ROOM AND GIVE HIM A HAND WITH THE STOMA BAG.  I WILL BE RIGHT BACK!!  OK, I AM BACK NOW.  TODAY MIKE AND I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH OUR ONCOLOGIST.  I AM HOPING FOR A GOOD REPORT.  MIKE CONTINUES TO LOSE WEIGHT, AND I CONTINUE TO GAIN IT!!  THAT IS ODD SINCE ONE OF THE MAIN SYMPTOMS OF LEUKEMIA IS WEIGHT LOSS!! NATURALLY I WOULD NOT GET THAT ONE AND ONLY BENEFIT OF THE DISEASE!!  I DO HOWEVER SUFFER FROM BEING TIRED FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT-NO MATTER HOW MUCH SLEEP I GET AT NIGHT I STILL WAKE UP TIRED!!  ANY HOW I MUST GET A MOVE ON NOW, AS WE NEED TO LEAVE FOR OUR APPOINTMENT SHORTLY.  HOPE YOUR DAY WILL BE BRIGHT AND SUNNY-JUST ME

" THEY'LL DO ANYTHING NOT TO PAY ME "

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!  MIKE AND HIS LOTTO TICKETS.  LAST NIGHT I TRIED AND I TRIED TO GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE NUMBERS ON THE LOTTO CARD ARE THE ONES HE PICKED TO WIN, AND THAT'S WHY THE LOTTO TICKET HE GOT WILL HAVE THE SAME NUMBERS.  HE THINKS HE WON, AND THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO PAY HIM.  AFTER A WHILE, I COULD SEE I WAS GETTING NO WHERE (NIGHT TIME IS THE WORST FOR HIM TO COMPREHEND ANYTHING), SO I SAID, HONEY JUST PUT IT AWAY FOR NOW, AND I WILL SHOW YOU IN THE MORNING WHEN THE PAPER COMES.  I THOUGH HE WOULD GET IT BETTER IN THE AM, BUT TO MY SURPRISE, AFTER DOING MY BEST TO EXPLAIN IT, HE STILL THINKS HE WON.  NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE FOUND AN OLDER CARD AND TICKET AN HE SAID "SEE, I WON HERE TOO"!!!  I SIMPLY CAN'T WIN.  I WILL NOW HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO PUBLIX AND LET THE CASHIER TRY AND EXPLAIN WHY WHEN SHE PUTS THE TICKETS IN THE MACHINE IT WILL SAY "NOT A WINNER".  I WISH HER OR HIM WELL!!!  THEN YESTERDAY WE WERE IN THE CAR GOING TO PUBLIX, WHEN MIKE SPOTTED A SATURN.  HE IS NOW IN THE HABIT OF NAMING CARS AS THEY GO BY ALSO READING EVERY STORE SIGN-ANYTHING TO DISTRACT ME.  ANY HOW, HE COMES UP WITH " WHO DO I KNOW THAT HAD A SATURN"?  THAT WAS SORT OF FUNNY, AS I PERSONALLY OWNED AT LEAST THREE, AND A FRIEND OF OURS WHO COMES OVER REGULARLY  ALSO HAD A SATURN UNTIL ABOUT A WEEK AGO. BTW, MIKE STILL THINKS THAT THE FLOWERS BY THE OLDER WOMAN HIT BY A HIT AN RUN DRIVER ARE REAL!!  I'M KINDA GLAD HE FORGOT WHAT I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT.  WELL, THAT'S IT FOR ME TODAY-HOPE YOUR DAY WILL TURN OUT WONDERFULLY!!  JUST ME

" FIX THIS FOR ME "

THIS MORNING MIKE WAS TRYING TO MAKE SOME COFFEE FOR HIMSELF, AND HE WAS HAVING A HARD TIME OF IT.  HE WAS TRYING TO PUT THE TOP OF THE GLASS COFFEE POT ON TOP OF THE LOOSE COFFEE AT THE TOP OF THE POT.  THAT IS JUST ONE OF MANY THINGS THAT MIKE GETS CONFUSED ABOUT LATELY.  YESTERDAY A NECTARINE WAS A PLUM!!  HIS TASTE BUDS MUST ALSO BE AFFECTED AS HE WILL OFTEN MISTAKE FISH OR EVEN PORK SOMETIMES THINKING  THEY ARE CHICKEN!!  HERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO LATELY-KEEP A PEN AND PAPER HANDY SO WHEN MIKE SAYS OR DOES SOMETHING HUMOROUS, I CAN JOT IT DOWN FOR A LATER BLOG POST.  HERE ARE A FEW OTHER IDEAS FOR YOU WHO MAY BE DEALING WITH AN ALZHEIMER'S PATIENT OR LOVED ONE YOURSELF.
SINCE OUR MEMORY IS STARTING TO GET OVERLOADED, PLACE SOME STICKY NOTES AROUND THE HOUSE WHEN YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THINGS.
LABEL CUPBOARDS AND DRAWERS WITH WORDS OR PICTURES THAT DESCRIBE THEIR CONTENTS. PUT IMPORTANT  PHONE NUMBERS IN LARGE  PRINT WITH NAMES OF  FAMILY MEMBERS, ( CELL PHONE# ARE BEST AS MANY PEOPLE STILL WORK)  WHERE THEY CAN EASILY SEE THEM-JUST IN CASE THEY NEED HELP OR GET CONFUSED IF YOU NEED TO STEP OUT BRIEFLY. MIKE WILL ALSO LOOK CONSTANTLY AT PICTURES, AND I JUST LEARNED THAT A BOOK OF PICTURES WITH THE NAMES OF ALL THE INDIVIDUALS WOULD ALSO BE HELPFUL WITH IMPROVING  THE MEMORY.    WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE GOOD DAYS (MAYBE GOOD HOURS IN A DAY), AND OF COURSE THE BAD ONES. KEEPING AN EYE OUT FOR ALL THE CUTE THINGS THEY SAY OR DO WILL HELP US TO LOVE THEM MORE, AND CHERISH EACH MOMENT WE HAVE WITH THEM. TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" WHERE DOES FELINA LIVE "?

I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HAD TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, AND THE MYRIADS OF QUESTIONS THAT COME AFTER IT.!!  ONCE I SAY SHE IS STILL IN MIKE'S HOUSE, HE GETS ALL EXCITED AND ASKS "DOES THAT MEAN THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER"?  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SOME THINGS HE REMEMBERS SO WELL.  LIKE HE WILL SAY "I WALKED HER DOWN THE AISLE YOU KNOW".  OF COURSE I KNOW, I'M JUST SURPRISED YOU  KNOW (AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I AM THINKING).  HE ALSO REMEMBERS THAT HIS SON MIKE JR. AND THE WHOLE FAMILY IS COMING FOR A VISIT SOON.  HE KEEPS ASKING ME FOR THE NAMES AND AGES OF BOTH LILLYAN AND AUTUMN OUR TWO YOUNGEST GRANDCHILDREN.  HE LOOKS AT PICTURES ALL THE TIME.  I HAVE A WHOLE WALL OF PICTURES, AND THERE ARE DAYS THAT HE WILL ASK ME "WHO'S THIS ONE"? OR "WHO IS THAT"?.  I THINK HE IS REALLY TRYING TO REMEMBER AS MUCH AS HE CAN BY REPETITION.  THE QUESTIONS THAT HURT ME THE MOST ARE "HAVE WE EVER LIVED THERE"?  OR, "HAVE WE EVER BEEN THERE"? WHEN A COMMERCIAL COMES ON FOR A CERTAIN PLACE-YESTERDAY IT WAS SAVANNAH.  I SAID "YES, WE LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS".  THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW IF THE KIDS WENT TO SCHOOL THERE.  I HAD TO REMIND HIM THAT FELINA WAS JUST 5 WHEN WE MOVED TO ORLANDO, AND MIKE JR. WAS NOT QUITE 2 YET, AND FONDA WAS NOT EVEN HERE YET.   MIKE IS MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL THESE DAYS.  HE IS ALSO HAPPIER AND CALMER TOO.  I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT ALZHEIMER'S HAS HAD SOME VERY GOOD AND POSITIVE EFFECTS ON MIKE-HE IS GRATEFUL FOR EVERY DAY, AND WANTS TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT. I THINK WE ALL SHOULD LIVE LIFE THAT WAY!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

WE HAVE TO GET SOMETHING FOR THE BACKYARD FOR THEM TO PLAY WITH

MIKE SEEMS TO THINK OF OUR DOGS AS IF THEY WERE CHILDREN.  NOW HE THINKS THEY NEED SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH IN THE BACK YARD.  I WONDER IF HE THINKS THEY WOULD LIKE A SWING SET, OR MAYBE A TRAMPOLINE-IT IS HARD FOR ME TO IMAGINE EXACTLY WHAT HE HAD IN MIND.  TOO FUNNY!!  THEN DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY WHEN HE HAD HIS APPOINTMENT WITH HIS PCP, HE CAME OUT WITH-"I DON'T THINK I NEED TO WEAR GLASSES ANY MORE".  I WAS A LITTLE TAKEN BACK, AND TOLD HIM THAT HE HAS BEEN WEARING THEM SINCE HE WAS A TEENAGER, WHAT MAKES HIM THINK THAT HE DOESN'T NEED THEM ANY MORE.  MIKE SAID (AS HE TOOK OFF HIS GLASSES) I CAN SEE JUST AS GOOD WITH THEM AS I CAN WITH OUT THEM, BUT HE PUTS THEM RIGHT BACK ON.  SO, I PICK UP A MAGAZINE WITH VERY LARGE PRINT, AND STAND AT THE END OF THE TABLE/BED THAT MIKE IS LAYING ON, AND AS I HOLD IT UP, I ASK HIM TO TAKE OFF HIS GLASSES AND READ THE LARGE PRINT FOR ME. NEEDLESS TO SAY HE COULD NOT READ IT.  THEN I ASKED HIM TO PUT HIS GLASSES BACK ON, AND TRY AND READ IT.  HE DID, AND HE COULD.  NOW I TELL HIM "SEE HONEY, THAT SHOWS THAT YOU REALLY DO NEED YOUR GLASSES".  NOT MISSING A BEAT, MIKE COMES BACK WITH,  NO, I JUST HAD TO LIFT MY HEAD A LITTLE-THAT'S WHY I COULD NOT READ IT BEFORE.  SOME ARGUMENTS ARE JUST NOT WORTH PURSUING, SO I LET HIM THINK HE CAN SEE JUST AS GOOD WITH OR WITH OUT HIS GLASSES.  BTW, HE STILL CONTINUES TO WEAR THEM!!  TODAY, I NEED TO CONTACT HIS ORTHOPEDIC DOCTOR AGAIN TO SEE IF THEY GOT THE REFERRAL FOR MIKE TO COME IN FOR THE SPECIAL SHOTS FOR HIS KNEE (EUFLEXXA).  I WAS ON THE PHONE YESTERDAY FROM AROUND 4pm TO 5:30pm TRYING TO GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF.  HIS DOCTOR ACTUALLY CALLED ME HIMSELF TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF FOR MIKE.  THE SHOTS ARE NEW, AND ARE SUPPOSE TO FORM A GEL LIKE SUBSTANCE IN BETWEEN HIS KNEE BONES, SO HE WILL NOT HAVE THE BONES RUBBING AGAINST EACH OTHER ANY MORE.  IF IT WORKS, IT WILL SAVE MIKE FROM HAVING KNEE SURGERY WHICH I WANT VERY  MUCH TO AVOID!!  SO TILL TOMORROW-I HAVE MY WORK CUT OUT FOR ME TODAY!!  JUST ME

WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S

To make a donation, click the link below and then click on General Team donation tab:  
Thank you for your support !

http://2011walktoendalz.kintera.org/orlando/bonellihayesuniversity

WHO CAME FIRST ADAM OR EVE ?

THIS IS THE QUESTION I STARTED MY DAY WITH TODAY.  THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, SO I WAS ABLE TO EXPLAIN HOW WE ALL WOUND UP IN THE MESS WE ARE IN WITH SICKNESS AND DEATH AS A RESULT.  HE SEEMS TO BE MORE INTERESTED IN SPIRITUAL THINGS NOW FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON.  HE CONTINUES TO GO WITH ME TO MY MEETINGS EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY-HAS NOT MISSED A ONE IN OVER TWO MONTHS!!  HE ALSO TELLS DIFFERENT ONES THAT MAKE A COMMENT DURING THE MEETING-"GOOD JOB!" OR "GOOD COMMENT!" WHICH I FIND ADORABLE.  WHEN EVER I MAKE A COMMENT, HE WILL WHISPER IN MY EAR "YOU ARE SO SMART"!!  HE CRACKS ME UP!!  HE GOT A COUGH AT A MEETING A FEW WEEKS AGO, AND HE HAD BROTHERS GOING WITH HIM INTO THE BATHROOM CHECKING ON HIM, BRINGING HIM WATER,  AND HE WAS VERY IMPRESSED AT HOW CONCERNED THEY ALL WERE.  HE IS ALSO VERY HAPPY TO PUT ON HIS NEW SUITS-HE REALLY DOES LOOK VERY HANDSOME WHEN HE GETS ALL DRESSED UP.  IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE FIRST MET-HE WAS ALWAYS IN A SUIT FOR WORK, AND HE WEARS THEM WELL!!  I KID WITH HIM THAT I AM GOING TO PUT HIM BACK TO WORK AS A SENIOR MODEL, AND HE JUST LAUGHS, BUT I KNOW IT MAKES HIM FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF.  HE IS DOING WELL IN MOST AREAS OF HIS HEALTH, AS HIS PCP DOCTOR TOLD HIM YESTERDAY AFTER HIS CHECK UP.  HE IS STILL VERY STRONG PHYSICALLY, AND I THINK THAT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH ALL THE YARD WORK HE DOES ON A DAILY BASIS.  I'M JUST AMAZED THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF WEED PULLING-WE STILL HAVE ANY LEFT!!!  THAT'S ABOUT IT FROM ME FOR TODAY, EXCEPT THAT I HAVE A LINK I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO CHECK OUT.  IT HAS TO DO WITH THE ANNUAL ALZHEIMER'S WALK THAT MY SISTER VICKIE, HER CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN, MIKE, OUR CHILDREN AND MYSELF TAKE PART IN TO HELP RAISE AWARENESS AND TO RAISE FUNDS TO FIND A CURE FOR THIS HEARTBREAKING DISEASE. THE LINK IS NOW AT THE TOP OF THIS POST!! TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" IS YOUR BROTHER OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN YOU "?

MIKE KEEPS FORGETTING THAT I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER.  HE ASKED ME THE ABOVE QUESTION THIS MORNING AFTER I TOLD HIM MY BROTHER HAD SENT ME AN E-MAIL.  THEN HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE HAS EVER BEEN HERE BEFORE. I ONCE AGAIN EXPLAIN THAT HE WAS FROM MY FATHER'S FIRST MARRIAGE, AND THAT I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT HIM TILL AFTER MY FATHER DIED.  THAT OPENS UP A WHOLE NEW SET OF QUESTIONS FROM MIKE.  "HOW DID YOUR FATHER DIE"?  "HOW OLD WAS HE WHEN HE DIED"?  "WHAT DID HE DIE FROM", AND SO ON.  NOW I HAVE TO GO TO THAT PAINFUL PLACE AGAIN AND EXPLAIN THAT MY FATHER COMMITTED SUICIDE.  ACTUALLY IT WAS MY HUSBAND MIKE AND MY BROTHER IN LAW GEORGE WHO CLEANED UP HIS PLACE AFTER WARDS, I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT I COULD HAVE DONE THAT, SO I AM REALLY GRATEFUL THAT HE WAS WITH ME THAT MORNING.  ANYHOW, I DIGRESS.  I SHOW MIKE THE PICTURE ON THE WALL, AND REMIND HIM THAT WE TOOK THAT PICTURE OF MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE BARBRA ON THEIR LAST TRIP HERE.   I LOOK AT THAT PICTURE EVERY DAY, AND AM AMAZED AT HOW MUCH THINGS HAVE CHANGED AROUND HERE IN THAT SHORT SPAN OF TIME.  MY BROTHER IN LAW GEORGE (MY SISTER VICKIE'S HUSBAND) IS NOW GONE-DIED OF ALZHEIMER'S, ALS, CANCER, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE.  HE SURE DID GET A TRIPLE WHAMMY IN HIS LATER YEARS. HE WAS SO BLESSED TO HAVE MY SISTER TO CARE FOR HIM.  I WONDER IF HE EVER REALLY APPRECIATED HER AS THE REST OF US DID.   THEN THERE IS MY DEAR HUSBAND MIKE.  HE DID NOT SEEM TO HAVE MANY DISCERNIBLE SIGNS OF ALZHEIMER'S BACK THEN, AND NOW HE IS IN THE ADVANCED STAGES OF THE DISEASE!!!  IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT EACH DAY IS A GIFT, AND THAT WE SHOULD NOT LIVE EITHER IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT TRY AND ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF TODAY AS LONG AS WE CAN.  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" WHO'S HARRY POTTER ? "

MIKE ASKED ME THE QUESTION ABOVE JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO.   I ASKED HIM "WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW"?  HE SAID "BECAUSE HE IS THE BOY WHO LIVED FOREVER, AND I WAS WONDERING HOW HE DID THAT"!!   I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT HARRY POTTER IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, AND THAT WHAT THEY MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT HE WILL LIVE FOREVER THROUGH THE SERIES OF BOOKS BARING HIS NAME.  MIKE TAKES EVERYTHING LITERALLY THESE DAYS.  THINGS ON T.V., THINGS HE READS, THINGS PEOPLE SAY, EVERYTHING!!  YESTERDAY HE DECIDED (AFTER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS TILL I WAS BLUE IN THE FACE) THAT HE WAS GOING TO GO TO THE CAR DEALERSHIP TO SEE WHAT HE HAD WON.  I TRIED TO REMIND HIM THAT I HAD TAKEN HIM TWICE BEFORE, AND IT IS JUST A GIMMICK TO GET PEOPLE DOWN THERE SO THEY CAN SELL THEM A CAR.  HE INSISTED THAT HE WAS NOT GOING TO BUY A CAR, BUT HE WAS STILL GOING TO GO DOWN THERE TO SEE WHAT HE HAD WON.  WHEN HE GOT BACK HOME, HE SAID "BOY WAS THAT EVER A WASTE OF TIME"!!!  I THEN ASKED HIM "WHY, WHAT DID YOU WIN"??  HE SAID "THEY JUST GAVE ME THIS WORTHLESS LOTTO TICKET".  I HAD TO BITE MY TONGUE FROM SAYING THOSE FAMOUS FOUR LITTLE WORDS "I TOLD YOU SO"!!  HE JUST FORGETS THE LAST TIME WE WENT, AND HE FELT THE SAME WAY-IT WAS A COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!!  IT IS LIKE THE MOVIE "GROUND HOG DAY" OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!  HE SEEMS TO DO THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER-EVEN WHEN HE HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE THE LAST TIME HE DID IT.  HE HAS ZERO MEMORY OF THAT-I WISH AT TIMES I DIDN'T EITHER!!!  OH WELL, TODAY IS A GOOD DAY-WE WENT TO THE DENTIST, AND HE DID REMEMBER HAVING BEEN THERE BEFORE ONCE WE GOT THERE.  I COUNT THAT AS A VICTORY FOR THIS DAY!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE "?

A COUPLE WEEKS AGO MIKE AND I WENT TO A NEW DENTIST (DR. MATTINGLY).  THEY DID ALL THOSE X-RAYS OF OUR TEETH AND DID THE CLEANING FOR BOTH OF US.  THEN THEY SENT US VIA E-MAIL THEIR PROPOSAL OF WHAT ALL NEEDS TO BE DONE, AND THE COST.  MIKE HAS AN APPOINTMENT TO GO BACK ON MONDAY, AND LAST NIGHT HE ASKED ME "HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE"?  I TRIED TO REMIND HIM THAT THEY WERE THE ONES WHO DID HIS TEETH CLEANING AND TOOK ALL THE X-RAYS, BUT HE SAID "I DON'T REMEMBER".  I AGAIN TRYING TO REASSURE HIM SAID "I'M SURE YOU WILL REMEMBER HIM ONCE WE GO BACK TO HIS OFFICE".  HE SEEMED VERY CONCERNED AND ASKED ME "DO YOU REALLY THINK SO"?  IT IS SO HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO QUESTIONS LIKE THAT. THE TRUTH IS, HE WILL MOST LIKELY NOT REMEMBER EVER HAVING BEEN  THERE BEFORE, BUT TELLING HIM THAT WOULD NOT BE VERY ENCOURAGING FOR HIM, AND I TRY TO KEEP HIM IN A POSITIVE FRAME OF MIND.  WE KID AROUND A LOT, AND MIKE MAKES LIGHT OF HIS CONDITION MOST DAYS.  LIKE YESTERDAY, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BRAIN ANEURYSM'S AFTER THERE WAS A NEWS MENTION ABOUT A FAMOUS SPORTS FIGURE WHO JUST DIED FROM ONE.  I WAS TELLING MIKE THAT THEY CAN HAPPEN AT ANY AGE, AND SOME YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE ALSO DIED FROM THOSE.  THEN MIKE SAYS "GOOD THING I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN"!! HE IS STILL WITTY AND FUNNY AT TIMES, AND THOSE ARE THE MOMENTS I CHERISH!!  HE STILL PUTS DIRTY DISHES AWAY AT TIMES,  PUTS HIS CLOTHES OR MINE IN THE TOWEL CLOSET, AND TALKS MORE AND MORE TO THE DOGS. BUT FOR THE MOST PART, I THINK HE IS DOING PRETTY WELL.  HE STILL WORKS OUT IN THE YARD SEVERAL HOURS A DAY, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING.  HE'S DOING MUCH BETTER WITH CHOOSING HIS CLOTHES NOW TOO (THANKFULLY)!!  FOR A WHILE THERE HE WOULD PUT ON A FLOWER SHIRT AND PLAID PANTS!! I WOULD TELL HIM THAT HE LOOKS LIKE A CLOWN TRYING TO GET HIM TO CHANGE ONE OR THE OTHER, BUT HE WOULD SAY "GOOD-I LIKE CLOWNS"!!! I'M REALLY GLAD THAT PHASE SEEMS TO BE OVER-AT LEAST FOR NOW.  WELL IT IS RAINY HERE TODAY, SO I HOPE WHERE EVER YOU ARE THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF SUNSHINE-OR AT LEAST A RAINBOW!!  JUST ME

" LOOK!! SOMEONE PUT FRESH FLOWERS THERE "

ABOUT ONE YEAR AGO, AN ELDERLY WOMAN WAS CROSSING THE STREET AT THE LIGHT ON THE CORNER OF ALOMA AVE. AND BALFOUR DR. WHEN SHE WAS HIT (HIT AND RUN) BY A CAR AND KILLED. MIKE AND I PASS THAT PLACE AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE EVERY DAY AS IT IS ONE OF THE ONLY WAYS IN OR OUT OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.  EVERY TIME WE PASS THAT SPOT, MIKE ALWAYS SAYS THE SAME THING "LOOK!!  SOMEONE PUT NEW FLOWERS THERE TO MARK THE SPOT".  I USUALLY SAY NOTHING, OR MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE-YES, ISN'T THAT NICE.  TODAY HOWEVER, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON,  I FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND TOLD HIM THE TRUTH.  THEY ARE ARTIFICIAL FLOWERS MADE OUT OF PLASTIC, AND THEY DO NOT EVER HAVE TO BE REPLACED. I THINK HE WAS A LITTLE TAKEN BACK BY THAT AND JUST SAID "OH".  I FELT KINDA BAD THAT I HAD DESTROYED ONE OF HIS MAIN TOPICS FOR CONVERSATION, BUT IT WILL BE VERY INTERESTING TO SEE IF HE GOES BACK TO SAYING "LOOK!! SOMEONE PUT FRESH FLOWERS THERE AGAIN" WHEN WE PASS BY THERE TOMORROW!!!  THIS JUST HAPPENED.  MIKE ASKED ME "WHAT DAY IS TOMORROW"?  I TOLD HIM "WEDNESDAY".  HE SAID "WE CAN'T EAT ANYTHING TOMORROW".  I SAID "WE CAN'T"?  "I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHAT YOU MEAN HONEY"?  MIKE REPLIES "NEITHER DO I"!!  WHAT A HOOT!!  HE IS A COMEDIAN AND DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!  IT'S NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES THOUGH. TODAY ON OUR WAY BACK HOME FROM MACY'S, I STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT, AND MIKE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THAT SIGN MEANT (IT WAS THE ONE THAT SAYS NO RIGHT TURN ON RED).  SOME VERY SIMPLE THINGS CAN REDUCE ME TO TEARS SOMETIMES-IT'S JUST THE REALIZATION OF ALL THAT HE HAS LOST. I REALLY MUST TRY HARDER TO FOCUS ON THE THINGS HE HAS GAINED.  ONE THING THAT IS NEW AND THAT I LOVE AND AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR, IS THAT HE NOW GOES WITH ME TO THE K.H. EVERY SUNDAY.  THIS PAST SUNDAY WHEN ONE OF THE FRIENDS TOLD HIM THEY WERE HAPPY TO SEE HIM, HE SAID "I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE"!!  YES, THERE ARE BLESSINGS IF WE LOOK HARD ENOUGH FOR THEM!! IF POSSIBLE- MAKE IT A  HAPPY DAY-JUST ME

" TWENTY THREE HUNDRED, AND NINETY NINE DOLLARS "

THAT IS HOW MIKE NOW PROCESSES $23.99.  HE JUST FINISH READING THAT IN THE PAPER THIS MORNING FROM AN AD THAT WAS FOR VITAMINS!!  THEN WHEN HE WAS TELLING ME HOW MUCH THE DENTIST BILL WAS GOING TO COST HIM,  HE SAID THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, INSTEAD OF $3,500.  FOR SOME REASON, HIS MIND IS NOW READING NUMBERS DIFFERENTLY THEN THEY ARE, AND HE SEEMS TO BE DOING THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS.  IF HE READS HOW MUCH SOMETHING IS IN THE NEWS PAPER IT ALWAYS COMES OUT WRONG LATELY. SOMETIMES HE WILL ASK HOW MUCH A HOUSE COST OR HOW MUCH WE PAID FOR OUR HOUSE, AND WHEN I TELL HIM (AS AN EXAMPLE) WE PAID 98 FOR IT, HE WILL SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT WAS A GOOD BUY!  HE THINKS I AM SAYING WE PAID ONLY $98. FOR OUR HOME.  I HAVE TO BE VERY SPECIFIC WITH MIKE WHEN EVER I AM TALKING ABOUT MONEY.   HE ALSO IS TALKING A LOT MORE TO THE DOGS THESE DAYS.  SOMETIMES WITH HIS HANDS. THE OTHER DAY HE WAS TRYING TO GET PRISKA (SHE'S A BIT OVER WEIGHT AND ALSO A LITTLE LAZY) TO GO FOR A WALK WITH HIM AND PRESLEY.  I AM WATCHING HIM FROM THE LIVING ROOM, AND HE IS SAYING IN SUCH A PERSUASIVE WAY "PRISKA ,  COME  ON, LET'S GO FOR A WALKIE WITH DADDY AND PRESLEY". THEN HE STARTS  MAKING MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS TO DEMONSTRATE TO HER  WHAT A WALK IS-WHICH IS HILARIOUS !!  IT LOOKS MORE LIKE HE IS SWIMMING THAN HE IS WALKING.   LIFE IS NEW AND DIFFERENT EVERY DAY-I NEVER KNOW WHAT NEW CHANGES I WILL SEE OR WHAT OLD PART OF HIM WILL BE GONE.  THIS ALZHEIMER'S IS TRULY A STRANGE AND CRUEL DISEASE.  I JUST TRY AND CHERISH EACH DAY, BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT HE IS STILL ABLE TO DO AND REMEMBER, AND KEEP PRAYING THAT THEY WILL SOON FIND A CURE.  HOPE YOUR DAY WILL BE MEMORABLE-JUST ME

" WHAT'S MY PHONE NUMBER ? "

THIS PAST SATURDAY MIKE WENT TO THE BANK TO DEPOSIT HIS SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK.  HE WANTED TO GO IN BY HIMSELF, AS HE FELT HE WAS CAPABLE OF DOING THAT-SO I LET HIM, AND I WAITED IN THE CAR.  WHEN HE CAME OUT OF THE BANK, HE WAS VISIBLY UPSET.  THE FIRST THING HE SAID WAS "WHAT IS OUR PHONE NUMBER"?.  I OF COURSE GAVE IT TO HIM, AND HE REPEATED IT A FEW TIMES AS IF  HE WAS REALLY TRYING TO REMEMBER IT.  I KNEW SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED IN THE BANK DEALING WITH OUR PHONE NUMBER, BUT I DID NOT PRESS HIM ON IT RIGHT THEN.  ONCE WE WERE BACK HOME, AND WERE HAVING LUNCH, HE ASKED ME FOR OUR PHONE NUMBER AGAIN, AND I ASKED HIM "WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS"?  HE TRIED TO REMEMBER IT, BUT GOT IT WRONG.  I THEN ASKED HIM "WHAT DAY IS IT"? MIKE SAID "THE END OF THE MONTH".  I SAID "OK, WHAT DAY WOULD THAT BE"?, AND HE SAID " I DON'T KNOW, THE 26TH , OR THE 27TH".  THEN I ASKED HIM "WHAT MONTH ARE WE IN" ?  MIKE SAID "MAY".  THEN I ASKED HIM "WHAT YEAR ARE WE IN"? MIKE SAID "2012".  IN OTHER WORDS, HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SO EVER WHAT DAY, MONTH OR YEAR IT IS!!!  IT IS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SEE THESE CHANGES ON A DAILY BASIS.   I SEEM TO WORRY ALL THE TIME WHEN EVER HE IS OUT OF MY SIGHT.  HE HAS NOW TAKEN TO WALKING THE DOGS AT NIGHT AS OF LATE-OFTEN AFTER I HAVE GONE TO BED AND AM ASLEEP!!!  I KNOW THAT IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE WITH HIM OR WATCH HIM ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY AM DOING, BUT I STILL FEEL THAT SOMETHING MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE TO ENSURE HIS SAFETY.  ON YET ANOTHER SUBJECT-I HAVE NOT EATEN AT THE TABLE WITH MIKE FOR SOME THREE DAYS NOW, AS I AM TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT, AND AM DRINKING A HEALTHY SHAKE INSTEAD.  MIKE HAS NOT EVEN NOTICED THAT I AM NOT EATING WITH HIM AT THE TABLE AS HAS BEEN OUR ROUTINE FOR 41 YEARS!! INSTEAD, THE ONLY COMMENT MIKE MAKES IS TO ASK ME "HAVE YOU FED THE DOGS"?  NOW I KNOW WHERE I RATE!!! SOMEWHERE  RIGHT AFTER THE DOGS I'M GUESSING!!  HOPE THIS POST WILL GIVE SOMEONE A CHUCKLE, THAT IT MAY ALSO BE HELPFUL TO SOMEONE TODAY-EVEN IF IT ONLY SERVES TO REMIND YOU THAT OTHERS ARE FELLOW SUFFERERS AND YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH THIS DISEASE ALL ON YOUR OWN!!!  TILL LATER-JUST ME