OFF DAY YESTERDAY FOR MIKE-MUST HAVE HAD A BAD DREAM.

MIKE WOKE UP TALKING ABOUT NUBERS THAT DROVE HIM CRAZY ALL NIGHT.  HE WAS PRETTY UPSET ABOUT IT TOO, AND WHEN I TRIED ALL THE ITEMS WITH NUMBERS THAT I COULD THINK OF AND BOMBED, I TOLD HIM MIKE JR. WOULD BE HOME ANY MINUTE AND MAYBE HE CAN FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOU..  I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO GET UP, BUT HE SAID " NO, I'LL JUST STAY IN BED FOR A WHILE". WAS NOT HIS NORMAL HAPPY SELF, BUT THEN MIKE JR. CAME, AND TALKED WITH HIM FOR A WHILE AND HAD HIM PRETTY MUCH CONVINCED THAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN ALL THE NUMBERS IN THE RUMMIKUB GAME (WHICH I SUGGESTED EARLIER TO WHICH HE SAID NO-THAT WAS NOT IT).  GO FIGURE!!!   ANY HOW HE IS IN ANOTHER ODD MOOD THIS AM, PLUS I HEARD HIM MOAN LOUDLY LAST NIGHT IN HIS SLEEP.  I WILL HAVE TO TALK WITH HIS HOSPICE NURSE ABOUT INCREASING THE DOSE ON HIS PAIN PATCH. THIS AM HE WAS UP BEFORE 6AM, AND I ASKED HIM WHERE HE WAS GOING, AND HE SAID TO BED.  HE WAS HEADED OUT INTO THE HALL WAY, SO I SAID THE BED IS THIS WAY.  HE DID COME BACK TO BED BUT KEPT MUMBLING SOMETHING.  HE DID ASK ME IF I WAS GOING TO GET UP, AND I SAID IN AN HOUR OR SO-IT WAS BARELY 6AM..  TODAY OUR DAUGHTER FELINA AND HER DAUGHTER (OUR GRAND DAUGHTER) JAKKI WILL ALSO BE COMING OVER FOR A WHILE.  MIKE IS HAVING A HARDER AND HARDER TIME WALKING FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.  I KNOW IT REALLY BOTHERS HIM, SO I HOPE THE NEW PAIN PATCHES WILL HELP ENOUGH TO MAKE HIS LEGS GO A LITTLE BETTER.  I GET SO AFRAID HE WILL FALL, BUT HE IS STILL MIKE, AND WHEN HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING, HE FINDS A WAY.  OUR DEAR SON LEAVES TODAY, IT IS SAD FOR US, BUT I KNOW THOSE TWO GIRLS OF HIS (NOT TO MENTION HIS LOVELY WIFE) WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO GET HIM BACK HOME.  I REALLY DO APPRECIATE LAURA FOR LETTING MIKE JR. COME WITH OUT THE REST OF THE FAMILY.  I KNOW IT CREATES A HARDSHIP FOR HER, AND SHE DOES IT SO THAT MIKE CAN SEE HIS FAMILY, BUT PRIMERILY HIS DAD AGAIN.  WELL, I NEED MY COFFEE MORE THAN USUAL TODAY, SO TILL TOMORROW-FORGET THE ROSES, SMELL THE COFFEE!!! JUST ME

MIKE WAS SO TALKATIVE LAST NIGHT-BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND MOST OF WHAT HE SAID

THE MAIN REASON I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING WAS THAT IT MADE NO SENSE.  FOR INSTANCE: "IF HE'S A GOOD DOG WE'LL KEEP HIM, WE'LL HAVE TO SEE OR "IS HE GOING"? I ASKED "WHO" HE SAID "HIM" SO I SAID "NO" THEN HE SAID "ARE YOU GOING"? AND I SAID "NO" THEN HE SAID "IS ANY BODY GOING"? AND AGAIN I JUST SAID "NO". THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF HE SAID FOR ABOUT 1 HOUR BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP.  I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING A TAPE RECORDER AND PUTTING IT IN THE ROOM FOR WHEN HE STARTS MAKING THOSE CRAZY REMARKS.  HE ALSO WAITS FOR ME TO RESPOND AND MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION!!  ANY HOW YESTERDAY WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY AGAIN FOR HIM. HIS SON MIKE JR., DAUGHTER FELINA, AND OUR GRANDSON CANYON ALL WERE HERE, AND PLAYED SOME GAMES WITH HIM.  HE SEEMED PRETTY MUCH OUT OF IT, AND I CAN TELL NOT ONLY IS HIS CANCER GETTING WORSE, BUT SO IS HIS MEMORY.  HE IS VERY QUIET WHENEVER PEOPLE ARE AROUND FOR SOME REASON.  HE HARDLY SPOKE AT ALL UNLESS HE WAS ASKED A QUESTION. SOMETIMES EVEN THEN IT WAS LIKE HE DID NOT HEAR YOU.  I AM SURPRISED THAT HE HAS TAKEN SO WELL TO WEARING THE GPS AROUND HIS NECK, BUT HE SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE IT, AND HE KNOWS NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS HE CAN JUST PUSH THE BUTTON AND THEY WILL TAKE CARE OF WHAT EVER HE NEEDS.  I LOVE IT TOO, AS IT SURE GIVES ME A LOT OF PEACE OF MIND WHEN HE IS OUT SIDE.  HE HAS NEVER WONDERED OFF AS YET, BUT I DON'T DOUBT THAT ONE DAY IF HIS LEGS HOLD UP-HE MIGHT.  JUST TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA HOW MY MIND IS GOING, I GAVE MY GRANDDAUGHTER AND GRAND SON IN LAW A "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY CARD AND GIFT ON SAT. . THEIR ANNIVERSARY IS NOT UNTIL MAY!!!  I THINK I JUST HAVE TOO MUCH ON MY MIND, AND I AM AFRAID TO LET ANY THING SLIP THROUGH THE CRACK (OR CRACKS-I'M SURE I HAVE MANY BY NOW).  SORRY JAKKI & JUDAH-PLEASE CONSIDER IT AN EARLY (VERY EARLY) GIFT.  WELL, IT IS ALMOST 7AM, AND I NOW HAVE SOME BILLS TO PAY, AND OTHER CHORES BEFORE MIKE WAKES UP.  ALSO TODAY IS MY STUDY DAY,  SO I NEED TO GET MY BIBLE READING AND OTHER READING DONE FOR MY THURS. NIGHT MEETING.  MY DEAR SON IN LAW MIKE B. WILL BE WATCHING MIKE AGAIN FOR ME-BLESS HIS HEART.  I NEED MY MEETINGS, AND MY FRIENDS MORE NOW THEN EVER BEFORE, AND THEY NEVER LET ME DOWN.  SO, TILL TOMORROW I WILL SAY SO LONG-NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON, EVERY DAY OF LIFE IS SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT-JUST ME

MIKE WAS TOTALLY WIPED OUT LAST NIGHT AFTER DINNER

HE HAD A GREAT TIME SEEING MIKE JR. AND FONDA & ART (I MADE THEM DINNER FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY GIFT).  MIKE ATE PRETTY WELL ALL DAY YESTERDAY-YET SEEMED SO TIRED.  AFTER EVERYONE LEFT HE SAID I'M READY FOR BED-HOW ABOUT YOU??  IT WAS EARLY BEFORE 8PM..  I GOT HIM TO STAY UP A LITTLE LONGER BY PUTTING ON THE NFL JAM SESSION, BUT HE CAME TO BED LONG BEFORE IT WAS OVER.   I WILL HAVE TO ADDRESS HIS PAIN LEVEL WITH NURSE PEGGY FROM HOSPICE WHEN SHE COMES ON WEDS. OR I MAY JUST GIVE HER A CALL TODAY.  HE IS STILL WEEPY AS LAST NIGHT AT THE TABLE I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM, AND HE WAS SO GOOD TO ME.  HIS EYES FILLED WITH WATER, AND HE SAID "I WISH THAT WERE TRUE". HE THINKS BECAUSE HE IS SO LIMITED IN WHAT HE CAN DO NOW THAT I GOT STUCK WITH A LEMON.  HE IS ALWAYS SAYING "YOU GOT STUCK".  I TELL HIM I AM STUCK-STUCK ON YOU BY CHOICE.. HE OF COURSE IS SAYING THAT I AM STUCK BECAUSE HE IS IN SUCH POOR SHAPE, AND I HAVE TO DO JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR HIM.  I ASKED HIS NURSE IS THERE SOMETHING THEY COULD GIVE HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM FEELING SO BAD ABOUT HIMSELF. SHE SAID JUST TRY NOT TO DO THINGS THAT WILL BOTHER HIM WHEN HE CAN SEE YOU.  LIKE EMPTYING THE GARBAGE CAN AND TAKING THE RECYCLABLES OUT TO THE STREET.  TRY AND DO THOSE THINGS WHILE HE IS SLEEPING, SO I WILL TRY AND DO WHAT SHE SAID, BUT I'M STILL NOT SURE THAT IT WILL BE ENOUGH.  WE WILL ADDRESS IT NEXT TIME SHE COMES AGAIN.  TODAY I HAVE SO MANY PHONE CALLS TO MAKE.  WELLCARE DECLINED ONE OF MIKE'S NEW MEDS. AGAIN, SO I WILL HAVE TO MAKE AN APPEAL WITH THEM TO SEE IF THEY WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION.  LIFE IS SO FULL OF UNNECESSARY STUFF THAT TAKES OUR TIME AND ENERGY.  WE SO BADLY NEED THE NEW SYSTEM TO FIX ALL OF ALL OF OUT PROBLEMS.  OUR GOOD FRIENDS THE ROGERS STOPPED BY YESTERDAY, AND THAT WAS SUCH A NICE TREAT.  THEY ARE VERY SPECIAL FRIENDS, AND I HOPE TO SEE THEM AT THE MEETING ON THURS. AS MIKE B. HAS SAID HE WILL WATCH MIKE FOR ME.  I DID SLEEP BETTER LAST NIGHT, AND I AM REALLY THANKFUL FOR THAT.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED, AND I WILL LET HIM SLEEP TILL HE WAKES UP ON HIS OWN, AS I KNOW THAT WHEN HE IS SLEEPING-HE IS NOT IN ANY PAIN.  WELL, TIME FOR ME TO GET SOME YUMMY COFFEE, AND TAKE MY MORNING PILLS, SO TILL TOMORROW-LOVE ALL FORGIVE ALL-JUST ME

LEGS GIVING MIKE A REALLY HARD TIME AGAIN.

I KEEP RUBBING THE CREAM THAT HOSPICE GAVE US, BUT IT IS HELPING LESS AND LESS, AS HIS CONDITION WORSENS. HE IS NOW ON THE HIGHEST DOSAGE OF THAT CREAM AS WELL, SO I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO PUT IT ON HIM MORE OFTEN.   IT HURTS ME TO WATCH HIM TRY AND WALK AROUND THE DOGIES OR WHATEVER IS IN HIS PATH.  IT'S LIKE HE HAS TO SHUFFLE HIS BACK SOME HOW-IT LOOKS ODD, AND I AM SURE IT IS NOT COMFORTABLE FOR HIM.  HE KEEPS ASKING WHEN MIKE JR. WILL BE HERE, SO I KNOW HE IS HAPPY AND LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM.  YESTERDAY HE WOULD START TO SAY SOMETHING, AND THEN JUST STOP IN MID SENTENCE.  HE IS ALSO HAVING TROUBLE  SAYING THE THINGS HE IS THINKING, AND READING IS VERY HARD (ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE) FOR HIM AT THIS POINT.  AT THE HALL I USE MY FINGER TO POINT EACH WORD OF THE SONG WE ARE SINGING SO THAT HE CAN FOLLOW ALONG-OTHER WISE HE GETS LOST ESPECIALLY IF THE SONG IS FAST PACED.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED, AND I WAS THERE TILL 8AM!!  THAT'S THE MOST SLEEP I HAVE HAD IN DAYS!!  I HAD TO LISTEN TO MY MEETING AGAIN LAST NIGHT (NO ONE TO WATCH MIKE FOR ME), BUT NEXT WEEK, MIKE B. WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH MIKE, SO I CAN GO-YIPPEE!!!  I SURE DO MISS ALL MY FRIENDS AND GOING OUT IN SERVICE ON A REGULAR BASIS LIKE I USE TO DO.  THINGS SURE HAVE A WAY OF CHANGING, AND SO MUCH IS OUT OF OUR CONTROL.  I FIND IT HARD TO BREATHE AT TIMES, BUT THEN I JUST SAY A PRAYER,  AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN GO ON.  MIKE WANTS SO MUCH TO GET BETTER, AND HE TRIES SO HARD TO WORK HIS LEGS.  HE DID SOME RAKING AGAIN YESTERDAY, AND EVEN THOUGH I HATE TO SEE HIM STRUGGLING OUT THERE, I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT HE IS DOING WHAT HE LOVES MOST.  I AM HAPPY THAT HE IS ABLE TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT WITH OUT ANY PAIN (HE NEVER GROANS IN PAIN WHEN HE MOVES LIKE HE USE TO), WHICH IS SUCH A BLESSING.  HE SAID SOMETHING KINDA FUNNY YESTERDAY TOO.  HE HAD REALLY HURT HIS HAND AGAIN GETTING THE RAKE OUT OF THE GARAGE.  I TOLD HIM THAT WHEN FONDA SEES IT SHE WILL HAVE A FIT.  WELL OF COURSE SHE DID, SO HE SAID "I THINK I LOST SOME POINTS WITH MY DAUGHTER".  I'M LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  HE SAID-THE HAND-SHE WAS SO UPSET WITH ME BECAUSE OF THE HAND. SO CUTE.  I TOLD HIM HE WILL NEVER LOSE ANY POINTS WITH FONDA-DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!! THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO TO MAKE THAT LARGE REDDISH BRUISE GO AWAY.  I JUST SAID IT WILL TAKE TIME, LIKE WITH ANY OTHER BRUISE, BUT I HAVE BEEN PUTTING SALVE ON IT, SO MAYBE BY THE NEXT TIME FONDA SEES HIM IT WILL BE LESS NOTICEABLE.  WELL, I'M READY TO FACE THE COLD CRUEL WORLD NOW-HOPE YOU ARE TOO!!  JUST ME

YESTERDAY WAS A VERY NICE DAY ACCORDING TO MIKE!

I KNOW YESTERDAY WE WERE BUSY ALL DAY TILL BED TIME!!  I WAS WORN OUT, AND SLEEPY, BUT WHEN I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS SLEEPY, HE SAID "NOT REALLY".  THOSE PILLS ESPECIALLY THE ONE THE HOSPICE NURSE CALLS THE "MAGIC PILL" SEEMS TO BE HELPING MIKE A LOT.  HE IS EATING THREE MEALS A DAY NOW, EVEN IF THEY ARE SMALL, AND IS STILL TRYING TO GO OUTSIDE A LITTLE EACH DAY AND RAKE UP SOME LEAVES.  I WOULD BE TEMPTED TO TAKE THEM MYSELF (FOR THE ENERGY), BUT I SURE DON'T NEED TO HAVE MY APPETITE OPENED UP ANY BIGGER!!  IF IT'S NOT GLUED DOWN-I'M LIKELY TO EAT IT THESE DAYS!!  I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES IN WHAT I BUY, SO WHEN I PIG OUT-IT IS MOSTLY ON HEALTHY STUFF.  BUT AS I AM LEARNING-EVEN HEALTHY STUFF WILL PUT WEIGHT ON YOU IF YOU EAT ENOUGH OF IT!! I FIND MYSELF GOING UP AND DOWN THESE DAYS EMOTIONALLY.  WHEN MIKE SEEMS TO BE DOING BETTER, I GET BOOSTED UP, BUT THEN WHEN THE REALITY HITS ME-THAT IT IS ONLY A TEMPORARY IMPROVEMENT FOR MIKE, AND THAT NOTHING HAS REALLY CHANGED-I GET BUMMED OUT AGAIN.  IT'S A PROCESS I GUESS, AND SO FAR I HAVE NEVER LET MIKE SEE ME CRY OR BREAKDOWN, SO I JUST WANT THAT TO CONTINUE TILL THE END.  LAST NIGHT HE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT HIS MEMORY, AND IF THERE WAS ANYTHING THAT WE COULD DO TO GET IT BACK.  THAT WAS HARD.  I TOLD HIM WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN TO HELP IT, AND I ASKED HIM IF HE FELT LIKE IT WAS GETTING WORSE.  HE SAID "I FEEL THINGS MOVING AROUND UP THERE, AND SOME DAYS IT IS HARDER THAN OTHERS TO THINK".  HE HAS DESCRIBED IT BEFORE AS HAVING  COBWEBS IN HIS HEAD. I JUST CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW HARD IT MUST BE TO BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE LOSING ALL YOUR MEMORIES, AND THAT THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP IT.  HE SAID "MAYBE TOMORROW IT WILL BE BETTER".  I JUST LOVE THAT ABOUT MIKE-HE IS ABLE TO STAY SO POSITIVE DESPITE ALL HE IS GOING THROUGH.  WHAT A GUY I MARRIED!!!!  WELL, THAT IS IT FOR ME THIS AM.  I WANT TO FINISH DRINKING MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE' BEFORE IT GETS COLD AGAIN.  YESTERDAY IS THE PAST, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, BUT TODAY IS A PRESENT-SO ENJOY IT!!! JUST ME

A LITTLE SET BACK FOR MIKE YESTERDAY

MIKE WAS UP PRETTY EARLY AGAIN YESTERDAY-BY 8:30AM, AND HE ATE HIS BREAKFAST ALL GONE (CEREAL WITH BANANA, HOT CHOCOLATE WITH ENSURE, O.J. AND COFFEE).  BUT THEN WHEN HE STARTED TO GET UP TO GO OUT SIDE, HE SAID HIS LEGS WERE NOT WORKING.  I PUT SOME SPECIAL CREAM ON THEM THAT I GET FROM HOSPICE, GAVE HIM A NAPROXIN 500MG. AND TOLD HIM TO SIT IN HIS CHAIR AND RELAX FOR A BIT AND SEE IF HIS LEGS WOULD FEEL BETTER.  A LITTLE LATER WE DROVE ACROSS THE STREET TO MY SISTERS, SO I COULD PLAY PING PONG WITH HER AGAIN, AND MIKE COULD SIT IN THE FRESH AIR AND WATCH US PLAY.  HE COULD HARDLY MAKE IT BACK TO THE CAR (WHICH WAS IN THE DRIVE WAY!!).  HE DID EAT HIS LUNCH ALL GONE AS WELL, (A LARGE BOWL OF CHILI), AND A COUPLE APPLE SLICES.  DINNER WAS EATEN TOO, (BLACK BEANS AND RICE, HALF A PORK CHOP, AND MORE SLICED APPLES).  HE CONTINUED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS LEGS ALL DAY, BUT BY BED TIME HE SAID HE THOUGHT THEY WERE DOING A LITTLE BETTER AND NOT HURTING AS MUCH.  MIKE HAS BEEN A LITTLE EMOTIONAL THE PAST TWO DAYS AS WELL.  WHEN HE SEES ME DOING THINGS LIKE PUTTING OUT THE TRASH AND THE RECYCLABLES HE STARTED TO CRY, AND SAY THAT I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE DOING THAT.  I TOLD HIM I REALLY DIDN'T MIND, BESIDES IT WAS MY TURN, AS HE DID IT FOR ALL THE PREVIOUS YEARS, AND I NEVER EVEN SAID "THANK YOU".  I TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED, SO IT'S NO BIG THING FOR ME TO BE DOING IT NOW.  I THEN TOLD HIM I WAS VERY HAPPY, AND I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY TOO.  HE SEEMED TO SETTLE DOWN AFTER THAT.  I KNOW HE WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE OUR SON AGAIN-HOPEFULLY THAT WILL TAKE HIS MIND OFF HIS PAIN AND BE ABLE TO REALLY ENJOY HIS VISIT.  TODAY HIS HOSPICE NURSE WILL BE HERE, AND SHE MAY HAVE SOME ADDITIONAL IDEAS FOR US TO TRY.  WELL, IT IS JUST PAST 6:30AM, AND I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE.  YESTERDAY WHEN MIKE WAS OUTSIDE A SALESMAN OF SOME KIND MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIM FOR 9AM (YES, MIKE IS STILL UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS-CAN'T SEEM TO SAY NO TO ANYBODY!!).  HE SAID IT HAS TO DO WITH OUR S. S. AND HOW WE COULD GET MORE (REALLY???).  I TRIED TO TELL HIM THAT THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT GO DOOR TO DOOR SETTING UP APPOINTMENTS TO LET SENIORS KNOW HOW TO GET MORE S.S. MONEY, BUT I COULD NOT CONVINCE MIKE OF THAT.  I WILL FILL YOU IN TOMORROW ON WHAT THE SALESMAN IS REALLY AFTER!!!  TILL TOMORROW-DON'T WORRY-BE HAPPY-JUST ME

MIKE HAD ANOTHER GOOD DAY!!!

EVER SINCE HOSPICE PUT MIKE ON TWO NEW PILLS HE IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER.  HE EVEN WATCHED THE MAGIC GAME LAST NIGHT AND THEN SAID "IT WAS A CLOSE GAME, BUT THE MAGIC LOST".  NORMALLY HE WOULD NOT EVEN STAY TO WATCH THE WHOLE GAME, AND EVEN WHEN HE DID,  HE WILL NOT REMEMBER WHO WAS PLAYING MUCH LESS WHO WON!! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THESE PILLS WILL WORK, BUT I AM SO THANKFUL THAT HE IS HAVING SOME GOOD DAYS AGAIN.  HE IS EATING AGAIN TOO.  HE HAD HIS POST CEREAL WITH BANANA FOR BREAKFAST WITH SOME HOT CHOCOLATE THAT I MAKE WITH ENSURE.  THEN FOR LUNCH, HE HAD A TUNA FISH SANDWICH WITH SOME APPLE SLICES, AND HE ATE IT ALL.  AT DINNER HE DID NOT DO AS WELL, ONLY HAVING ONE SLICE OF PIZZA, HE DID NOT WANT ANY SALAD, SO I GAVE HIM A FEW MORE APPLE SLICES, AND HE DID EAT THOSE.  IT IS ONLY 6:15AM RIGHT NOW, SO I AM SURE HE IS STILL FAST ASLEEP.  YESTERDAY HE WAS UP PRETTY EARLY, AND HAD ALREADY TAKEN A SHOWER ALL BY HIMSELF!!   HE WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE WITH MY SISTER VICKIE AND ME, AND THEN OVER TO MY SISTERS TO WATCH US PLAY PING PONG.  LATER OUR FRIEND GAIL STOPPED BY, AND WE PLAYED A COUPLE GAMES OF RUMMIKUB.  ALL IN ALL HE SAID HE HAD A VERY NICE DAY.  I KNOW THINGS WILL GET NOT SO GREAT AGAIN, BUT WHILE HE IS HAPPY AND FEELING BETTER IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.  WE SHOULD HAVE A PRETTY BUSY WEEK END, AS WE WILL BE GOING TO A BABY SHOWER FOR OUR VERY FIRST GREAT GRAND DAUGHTER, AND THEN ON SUNDAY, OUR SON MIKE JR. WILL BE COMING FROM CA. TO SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH HIS DAD.  AT FIRST IT MADE ME WANT TO CRY WHEN I WOULD SEE MIKE RAKING A FEW LEAVES TOGETHER WITH HIS CANE, NOW, IT MAKES ME SMILE, BECAUSE HE IS STILL FINDING A WAY TO DO WHAT HE LOVES-PLAY IN THE YARD (HIS WORDS).  WELL, MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE' IS GETTING COLD, SO I WILL CLOSE FOR TODAY.  WE ARE ALL DEALING WITH SOME ISSUE OR ANOTHER, SO I TOO WILL PRAY FOR HELP IN DEALING WITH YOURS.  HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY YET-JUST ME

MIKE MADE A LITTLE REBOUND YESTERDAY !!

HE IS ON TWO NEW MEDS., AND YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST GOOD DAY HE HAS HAD SINCE AT LEAST THE TWO OR THREE DAYS PRIOR.  HE DID NOT EAT ANY DINNER ON FRIDAY, AND ON SAT. HE WOULD NOT (OR COULD NOT) GET UP OUT OF BED OR EAT ANYTHING UNTIL FONDA CAME WITH A FROSTY AND SOME FRIES AROUND 5:30PM.  HE JUST KEPT SAYING HE WAS NOT FEELING GOOD, AND WHEN I ASKED WHERE IT HURT, HE SAID "ALL OVER".  I HAD TO CONTACT HOSPICE ON THURS. AND THEY SENT OUT A TRIAGE NURSE TO CHECK ON HIM THURS. NIGHT, AS THAT IS WHEN HE FIRST STARTED TO COMPLAIN AND LOOK SO PALE.  HE WAS ALSO BURPING CONSTANTLY, AND SWEATING A LOT.  I WAS SO CONCERNED I WAS THINKING THAT THE END COULD BE NEAR, SO I ASKED FONDA TO CALL MIKE JR. AND LET HIM KNOW-HE WILL BE HERE THIS COMING SUN. AM.. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THE NEW PILLS WILL WORK, BUT THEY ARE BOTH TO HELP WITH HIS PAIN AND STIMULATE HIS APPETITE.  HE IS STILL IN BED, BUT IT IS JUST A LITTLE PAST 7:30AM.  I SLEPT PRETTY GOOD LAST NIGHT, AS I WAS FEELING BETTER ABOUT HIS CONDITION.  YESTERDAY MIKE ACTUALLY GOT UP BEFORE ME, AND GOT THE PAPER.  HE TOLD ME "TODAY IS SUNDAY, CAN YOU GET MY CLOTHES FOR ME"?  HE MEANT HIS SUIT.  I TOLD HIM HE HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO EAT AND REST BEFORE THE MEETING, AS IT WAS ONLY 8AM.!!  I WONDER WHAT TIME HE WILL BE GETTING UP THIS AM.  HE HAD SUCH A NICE DAY YESTERDAY, FONDA BROUGHT HIM ANOTHER FROSTY FROM WENDY'S, AND MORE FRIES.  HE DRANK ALL THE FROSTY, AND ATE ABOUT HALF THE FRIES.  OUR ADORABLE NIECE DAWN AND HER HUBBY RICH BROUGHT OVER SOME FOOD AS WELL, AND DOVE ICE CREAM FOR MIKE (WHICH HE ATE LAST NIGHT-THANK YOU!!). EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT, AND STAYING POSITIVE AND HAPPY AROUND HIM AT ALL TIMES IS GETTING HARDER, BUT I HAVE SO MANY DEAR FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS PRAYING FOR ME, THAT I KNOW I WILL CONTINUE TO BE STRONG FOR AS LONG AS MIKE NEEDS ME TO BE.  THANKS FOR LISTENING-HOPE YOUR DAY BRINGS A  SMILE TO YOUR FACE-JUST ME

AND I THOUGHT GETTING UP AT 4:30AM WAS BAD!!!!

MIKE HAD A HORRIBLE NIGHT, IN FACT, I WAS GOING TO TAKE HIM TO THE ER, BUT HE SAID NO-HE WOULD GO TOMORROW.  HE JUST WANTED TO LAY DOWN FOR NOW.  HE LOOKED REALLY PALE, AND WAS SWEATING PROFUSELY (MIKE RARELY EVER SWEATS), AND FOR THE FIRST TIME HE SAID "I AM SICK".  I ASKED IF HE COULD TELL ME WHAT WAS HURTING, AND HE SAID "EVERYTHING", AND HE COULD NOT STOP BURPING.  I HELPED HIM TO BED, AND CALLED FONDA, AND MY SISTER AND TOLD THEM I WAS TAKING MIKE TO THE ER.  BUT THEN HE WOULD NOT GO, SO I CALLED HOSPICE, AND THEY SENT OVER A NURSE TO CHECK HIM OUT.  SHE GAVE HIM SOME NEW MEDICINE TO SETTLE HIS STOMACH, LIFTED HIS HEAD UP HIGH, AND SAID SHE WOULD ORDER A LIFT FOR HIS HEAD SINCE THE MEDS. THEY HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM FOR HIS REFLUX HAS NOT BEEN WORKING.  SHE CHECKED ALL HIS VITAL SIGNS HUGGED ME, AND THEN LEFT.  THAT WAS AROUND 8:30PM.  MIKE WAS TO STAY IN BED AND REST, AND SO I CLIMBED IN BED WITH HIM. I WOKE UP AT 11:30PM THINKING IT WAS PROBABLY MY USUAL WAKE UP TIME LATELY OF 4:30AM.  THAT'S HOW THE REST OF THE NIGHT WENT.  I JUST KEPT LOOKING AT THE CLOCK-WAITING FOR 4:30AM SO THAT I COULD GET UP, LET THE DOGIES OUT, HAVE MY CAFE' CON LECHE', AND DO MY BIBLE READING OR READ THE PAPER.  THE NIGHT DRUG ON AND ON.  I DON'T THINK I HAVE EVER FELT SO GROGGY, OR OUT OF SORTS.  ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, I FORGOT TO TAKE ALL MY MEDS. LAST NIGHT, SO THAT MAY BE PART OF WHY I AM FEELING LIKE POOP!!!  MIKE IS STILL IN BED RESTING, BUT FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS HE HAS BEEN UP BY 9 AM OR SO.  UP UNTIL THAT HAPPENED, WE HAD A REALLY LOVELY DAY.  FELINA AND JAKKI CAME OVER, AND WE PLAYED A COUPLE GAMES OF RUMMIKUB WITH MIKE, AND THEN GAIL CAME OVER, AND AGAIN WE PLAYED A GAME OR TWO OF THE SAME THING.  IT WAS NOT UNTIL AROUND 5 PM THAT EVERY THING WENT SOUTH.  MIKE WAS UNUSUALLY QUIET AGAIN DURING THE DAY, AND AFTER FELINA AND JAKKI LEFT I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT JAKKI WAS CARRYING OUR VERY FIRST GREAT GRAND CHILD.  HE SEEMED CONFUSED, AS HE SAID "JAKKI IS OUR GRAND CHILD"? SO I TRIED TO BREAK IT DOWN FOR HIM.  I SAID "YES, FELINA IS OUR DAUGHTER, AND JAKKI IS HER DAUGHTER, SO THAT MAKES JAKKI OUR GRAND DAUGHTER.  NOW WHEN JAKKI HAS HER BABY, IT WILL BE OUR VERY FIRST GREAT GRAND CHILD".  HE SAID "OH". AND I THOUGHT HE GOT IT, BUT LATER HE SAID "SO JAKKI IS GOING TO HAVE A HUSBAND"? I SAID "WHAT"?  THEN HE REPEATED IT "SO JAKKI IS GOING TO HAVE A HUSBAND"?  I JUST SAID "UH HUH".  I FIGURED WHAT'S THE USE OF GOING OVER ALL THAT AGAIN.  ANY HOW THAT IS HOW YESTERDAY WENT-I SURE HOPE TODAY IS BETTER FOR ALL OF US.  UNTIL MONDAY-JUST ME

" WERE WE EVER IN SAVANNAH "?

YES, I TOLD MIKE.  WHAT I DIDN'T SAY IS THAT WE LIVED THERE FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, OR THAT IS WHERE MIKE JR. WAS BORN. YESTERDAY HIS HOSPICE NURSE PEGGY ASKED HIM HOW WE MET.  HE SAID HE WAS JUST WALKING ALONG WHEN HE TRIPPED AND FELL, AND THERE I WAS, AND WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER EVER SINCE.  HE HAS TOLD SEVERAL DIFFERENT STORIES ABOUT HOW WE MET.  ONCE HE SAID HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE AT THE DINNING ROOM TABLE AND I WALKED IN, AND THAT'S HOW WE MET.  IT KILLS ME THAT HE HAS NO MEMORIES OF OUR PAST LIFE TOGETHER.  I'M OK WITH HIM NOT REMEMBERING ALL THE UPS AND DOWNS WE'VE HAD OVER THE YEARS, BUT HIS MIND IS LIKE A BLANK PAGE WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS WE HAVE DONE, OR PLACES WE HAVE BEEN.  HE EVEN FORGETS WHO CAME FIRST WITH OUR KIDS.  HOW DIFFICULT THAT MUST BE FOR HIM-YET HE ALWAYS SEEMS HAPPY, AND SELDOM COMPLAINS ABOUT ANY THING. WHEN THE NURSE WEIGHED HIM YESTERDAY WE WERE BOTH IN SHOCK.  I KNEW HE HAD BEEN LOSING WEIGHT, BUT NOW HE IS DOWN TO 141. AN ALL TIME LOW.  THEY ARE GOING TO PUT HIM ON AN APPETITE PILL THAT SHOULD HELP ALSO WITH HIS BONE PAIN.  I FIND MYSELF NOT ABLE TO SLEEP EVEN WITH A SLEEPING PILL, AND I AM HAVING A HARD TIME TAKING IN A FULL BREATH-I HAVE TO YAWN IN ORDER TO DO THAT.  ON THE OUT SIDE, I SEEM CALM, AND DO ALL I CAN TO MAKE EACH DAY A GOOD ONE FOR MIKE.  WE WATCH FUNNY SHOWS (LIKE LUCY), OR LISTEN TO OLDIES  TOGETHER ON THE LOVE SEAT, BUT ON THE INSIDE I AM LIKE A CRUSHED REED.  I JUST KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR CRYING AND SELF PITY LATER ON, BUT FOR NOW-IT'S  ALL ABOUT MIKE!!  IT IS JUST NOW A LITTLE PAST 7AM, AND I'VE ALREADY FED THE DOGIES, AND MADE MY SPECIAL COFFEE.  I GUESS I WILL READ SOME NOW, AND WAIT FOR MIKE TO WAKE UP.  TREASURE ALL YOUR SPECIAL MOMENTS-TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

INSURANCE TROUBLES

MIKE IS ALMOST COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS ARICEPT 23 (A MEMORY DRUG), AND WELL CARE HAS DENIED THE DOCTORS REQUEST FOR A PRE-AUTHORIZATION.  TODAY I WILL CALL THEM AND FILE FOR AN APPEAL-YOU HAVE TO BE A LAYER THESE DAYS JUST TO BE SICK!!  OH WELL, I FEEL SURE THEY WILL ACQUIESCE-AS THERE ARE NO SUBSTITUTES FOR IT.  I DID WAKE UP AGAIN AT AROUND 4:30AM, BUT THIS TIME I STAYED IN BED AND DOZED OFF AND ON UNTIL 7.  THAT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN YESTERDAY WHEN I GOT UP AND FELT LIKE A ZOMBIE ALL DAY.  MIKE IS STILL FAST ASLEEP.  HE WAS HAVING SOME PROBLEM WITH HIS STOMACH LAST NIGHT, AND WOULD NOT EAT ANY DINNER FOR ME.  I DID GET HIM TO HAVE A KLONDIKE AROUND 9PM, BEFORE HE CAME TO BED. HIS NURSE PEGGY COMES TODAY, SO I WILL HAVE A COUPLE OF ISSUES TO TELL HER ABOUT.  I CALLED HIS PCP ABOUT HIS CONSTANT NOSE BLOWING, AND THEY PUT HIM ON MORE ANTIBIOTICS.  THAT IS THE THIRD TIME IN A ROW THEY HAVE DONE THAT.  YOU WOULD THINK THAT IF THAT WAS GOING TO HELP-IT WOULD HAVE DONE SO BY NOW-BUT THEN I AM NO DOCTOR.  MIKE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME LOOKING AT PICTURES THESE DAYS.  HE KEEPS SAYING WHAT GREAT KIDS WE HAVE, AND HE THANKS ME CONSTANTLY FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD WIFE.  HOW NICE THAT IS TO HEAR-AS THEY SAY-BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.  I THINK HE IS TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME!!  NOT SO, HE THINKS WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD THE PERFECT MARRIAGE, AND THAT OUR KIDS NEVER GAVE US ONE BIT OF TROUBLE!!.  I GUESS ALZHEIMER'S IS GOOD FOR SOMETHINGS!! NOT MUCH ELSE TO REPORT-KEEP HOPING--BE HAPPY-TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

UP AGAIN AT 4:30AM, BUT TODAY I KNOW WHY

MIKE'S GPS THAT HE WEARS AROUND HIS NECK WAS BEEPING EVERY SO OFTEN, UNTIL I FIGURED OUT WHAT IT WAS AND PUT IT ON THE CHARGER.  IT IS TRULY A BLESSING TO HAVE, AND I NORMALLY LOVE THE THING, BUT NOT SO MUCH LAST NIGHT!!  ANY HOW I GOT UP LET THE DOGS OUT AND WAS PLANNING TO GO BACK TO BED, BUT THEN I DECIDED TO MAKE A NEW POST INSTEAD.  I AM HAVING MY WONDERFUL LIQUID GOLD (CAFE' CON LECHE') RIGHT NOW, AND DOUBT THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP ANY TIME SOON (NOT DECAF).  I DISCOVERED WHY MIKE WOKE UP SO EARLY YESTERDAY (6AM), AND WAS READY TO GET OUT OF BED.  HE DID NOT TAKE ANY OF HIS MEDS. NIGHT BEFORE LAST-I FOUND THEM ALL ON HIS NIGHT TABLE.  I MADE SURE HE TOOK THEM LAST NIGHT!!  HE HAS HAD A COUPLE OF REALLY NICE DAYS, AND I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.  HE IS EATING MUCH BETTER, AND I HAVE FOUND IF I JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO EAT-HE WILL EAT IT.  IF I ASK HIM IF HE WANTS TO EAT, OR IF HE IS HUNGRY-HE WILL USUALLY SAY "NOT RIGHT NOW".  I GOT MY SHIPMENT OF COLD PRESSED 100% NATURAL COCONUT OIL YESTERDAY, AND ALREADY STARTED ON IT.  IF THERE IS ANY CHANCE THAT IT CAN DO ONLY HALF OF WHAT THEY CLAIM, I WILL BE A VERY HAPPY CAMPER.  I GOT THE VERY BEST ONE I COULD FIND-IT USES 23 COCONUTS PER 16OZ. JAR WHERE MOST USE ONLY 5 OR 6!!!  I BOUGHT A LOT OF IT, AS SOME OF MY OLDER NEIGHBORS AND FAMILY WANT TO TRY IT TOO.  PLUS I GOT A DEAL BY BUYING SO MANY JARS.  ANY HOW SURE HOPE IT HELPS MIKE  WITH HIS ALZHEIMER'S, AND US TOO!!  I AM SURE HOPING THAT THE COLD WEATHER HAS LEFT US FOR AT LEAST A FEW DAYS.  IT IS HARD FOR ME TO COVER ALL MY PLANTS OR BRING THEM INSIDE. GUESS EVERYONE HAS THE SAME PROBLEM.  WOULDN'T YOU KNOW I JUST PLANTED 3 OR 4 NEW PLANTS AND A LEMON TREE JUST BEFORE THE FREEZE.  MY TIMING STINKS!!  WELL THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, I WILL GO CRASH ON THE SOFA UNTIL MIKE WAKES UP.  TILL TOMORROW-STAY COZY-JUST ME

UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE !!

MIKE WAS WIDE AWAKE AT 6AM, AND DETERMINED TO WAKE ME UP!!  HE KEPT ASKING IF I WAS OK, OR IF THE DOGS NEEDED TO GO OUT.  I HAVEN'T A CLUE!!  ANY HOW I FINALLY GOT UP (WITH A HEADACHE) AT AROUND 8AM.  I HAD BEEN UP EARLIER, AND OPENED THE DOOR TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM, SO THAT THE DOGS COULD GO OUTSIDE WHEN EVER THEY WANTED.  NOW I HAVE FED THEM, AND AM DRINKING MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE'.  MIKE (OF COURSE) WENT BACK TO SLEEP, AND IS SLEEPING LIKE A BABY.  HE WILL PROBABLY BE IN BED NOW TILL 1 OR 2, AND I WILL BE POOPED ALL DAY.  OH WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS OR SO I AM TOLD.  BTW, I WENT TO TWO MEETINGS YESTERDAY.  WELL, NOT REALLY, I HEARD AN EARLY MEETING BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK MIKE WOULD GET UP IN TIME TO GO TO OURS.  WRONG!!  NOT ONLY DID HE GET UP, BUT HE HURRIED UP, SO THAT WE COULD MAKE IT THERE ON TIME.  I TOLD HIM WE COULD JUST LISTEN IN ON THE PHONE SINCE IT WAS SO LATE, BUT HE SAID "NO  I WANT TO GO TO OUR PLACE", SO THAT WAS THAT, WE WENT!!  I AM SO HAPPY THAT HE REALLY WANTS TO GO, I NEVER EVEN HAVE TO REMIND HIM THAT IT IS SUNDAY-HE SEEMS TO KNOW WHEN OUR MEETING IS, AND HE WANTS TO BE THERE.  WHAT A BLESSING JEHOVAH HAS GIVEN ME-IT GOES A LONG WAY TO MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE THAT IS GOING ON EASIER TO DEAL WITH.   OUR DAUGHTER FONDA WAS OVER FOR SEVERAL HOURS YESTERDAY WORKING IN THE YARD.  SHE MUST HAVE FILLED UP 15 BAGS OF LEAVES JUST FROM OUR FRONT YARD!!  SHE IS TRULY GOOD TO US, AND WE ARE THANKFUL TO HAVE HER LOVE AND HER HELP.  TODAY WE WILL BE GOING OVER TO MY SISTER VICKIE'S HOUSE AGAIN, AS SHE IS BY HERSELF, AND ENJOYS OUR COMPANY.  WE WILL WATCH SOME LUCY EPISODES (MIKE LIKES THOSE A LOT), AND HAVE DINNER TOGETHER AGAIN.  SHE IS A WONDERFUL SUPPORT AS WELL.  MIKE HAS BEEN EATING BETTER THE PAST FEW DAYS, SO THAT IS AN IMPROVEMENT.  HE IS HAVING MORE TROUBLE WALKING, AS LAST NIGHT JUST FROM MY SISTERS HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET HE COULD HARDLY MAKE IT HOME.  I GUESS I WILL NEED TO DRIVE OVER THERE FROM NOW ON..  THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR NOW, HOPE YOUR WEEK END WAS A GOOD ONE-MIKE SAID HE HAD A REALLY NICE DAY YESTERDAY-TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

UP AT 4:30AM AGAIN!! STILL DARK OUT-BRAIN WON'T TURN OFF

YES, IT HAS HAPPENED AGAIN.  I JUST WAKE UP AROUND 4 OR 4:30AM WIDE AWAKE.  I TRY GOING BACK TO BED, BUT I AM AFRAID I WILL DISTURB MIKE SINCE I JUST FLOP AND TOSS AROUND.  I DECIDED TO JUST GET UP, ANSWER A COUPLE E'S, AND WRITE MY POST FOR THE DAY.  GUESS WHAT-I JUST NOW REALIZED THAT TODAY WAS SAT., AND I DO NOT WRITE POST ON SAT.. GUESS I WILL WRITE SOME NOT AT HOME LETTERS, SO THAT I CAN FEEL USEFUL.   HOPE I DID NOT THROW YOU OFF TOO BADLY.  JUST ME

WHO KNEW COCONUT OIL COULD CURE ALZHEIMER'S????

OK, MAYBE NOT CURE IT, BUT IMPROVE IT, OR EVEN PREVENT IT.  I POSTED A VIDEO ON MY FACE BOOK ABOUT IT.  I WAS VERY IMPRESSED, AS IT WAS A DR. WHO'S HUSBAND HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH LAST STAGE ALZHEIMER'S  WHO DID THE RESEARCH, AND HAS HAD REMARKABLE SUCCESS.  I PLAN TO ADD IT TO MIKE'S DIET SOMEHOW-NOT SURE YET HOW, BUT I'M SURE I CAN FIGURE IT OUT.  I DID GET TO MY MEETING LAST NIGHT, AND FEEL ALMOST HUMAN AGAIN.  IT IS AMAZING HOW SUCH A SHORT TIME WITH SUCH LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS CAN LIFT ME BACK UP!!!  FOR NOW I AM ONLY ABLE TO MAKE TWO MEETINGS A MONTH, THANKS TO MIKE B. AND FONDA, BUT MAYBE THAT CAN GROW TO THREE OR FOUR DOWN THE ROAD-ONE CAN HOPE CAN'T ONE??  MIKE DID NOT EAT MUCH AGAIN YESTERDAY-HE HAD TWO POP TARTS AT 2PM WHEN HE FINALLY GOT UP, AND THEN FONDA BROUGHT HIM A HAMBURGER, FRIES, AND A FROSTY FROM WENDY'S FOR DINNER.  HE DID HAVE MOST OF THE FROSTY, AND SOME FRIES, AND ABOUT HALF OF THE HAMBURGER.  HE WOULD NOT EAT ANY THING ELSE FOR ME LAST NIGHT OR HAVE ANY HOT CHOCOLATE (I THINK HE MAY HAVE GOTTEN WISE TO ME).  ANY HOW THE HOSPICE DR. DID SAY THIS WAS ALL PART OF THE PROCESS, AND I AM NOT TO FORCE HIM TO EAT OR GET UP-IT IS HIS BODY ADJUSTING TO THE CHANGES.  I FEEL HELPLESS AT TIMES, BUT NEVER HOPELESS.  MIKE SAID LAST NIGHT THAT HE WANTS TO GO TO "OUR PLACE" THE K. H. ON SUNDAY.  WE WILL SEE IF HE IS ABLE TO GET UP IN TIME.  I TRULY HOPE SO, AS I KNOW IT WOULD DO US BOTH A WORLD OF GOOD.  WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT UNTIL MONDAY, UNLESS ANY THING NEW AND IMPORTANT SHOULD HAPPEN-THEN OF COURSE I WOULD MAKE AN EXTRA POST.  LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO YOU ALL-JUST ME

" CAN YOU GET THAT FOR ME EVERY MONTH "?

MIKE SAID THIS AFTER WATCHING A COMMERCIAL FROM THE LOTTO ABOUT WINNING $2500. EVERY MONTH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  HE IS SO CHILDLIKE THESE DAYS.  IT MADE ME REMEMBER SOMETHING MY MOTHER SAID YEARS AGO.  I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HER ABOUT GARAGE SALES, AND I TOLD HER THAT MY FRIEND BOUGHT A RING AT A GARAGE SALE FOR .50 CENTS, AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE REAL AND WORTH ABOUT $500.  MY MOTHER THEN SAYS " LETS GO TO A GARAGE SALE, AND GET ME ONE OF THOSE RINGS"!!!  WELL, MIKE IS STILL IN DEEP SLUMBER, BUT I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE NOW.  I DID GET UP AT ABOUT 4:15 AGAIN, WITH BAD LEG CRAMPS.  I HEATED UP MY BED BUDDY, AND THEN LAID BACK DOWN.  TO MY SURPRISE, I FELL BACK TO SLEEP UNTIL ALMOST 8AM!!  TONIGHT IS MY MEETING, AND I AM TRULY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.  MY DAUGHTER FONDA WILL BE WATCHING MIKE FOR ME, AND EVEN SAID SHE WOULD BRING HIM HIS DINNER, SO I WILL NOT HAVE TO COOK.  MIKE DID GOOD YESTERDAY, AS HE WAS UP EARLY, WORKED OUT IN THE YARD WITH MARY JO (HOSPICE VOLUNTEER) WHILE I WAS AT A DR.'S APT.. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME HOW EVER THAT MIKE DID NOT WANT TO EAT HIS BREAKFAST!!  HE DID EAT A P & J LATER FOR ME, BUT IT TOOK ME A LOT OF COAXING TO GET HIM TO FINISH IT.  HIS HOSPICE NURSE PEGGY WAS ALSO HERE YESTERDAY, AND SAID SHE GOT THE DOCTOR'S REPORT, AND WANTED TO KNOW IF THERE WAS ANY THING I NEEDED.  VERY NICE.  SHE ASKED MIKE IF HE WAS IN ANY PAIN, AND HE SAID NO, BUT HIS LEGS JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK.  I THINK THE MAIN GOAL IS TO KEEP HIM PAIN FREE, AND SO FAR WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT.  WELL, AGAIN I HAVE MUCH TO DO, AND I HAVE NOT EVEN HAD MY BREAKFAST YET, OR GOTTEN DRESSED.  HOPE THIS DAY WILL BRING MANY BLESSINGS YOUR WAY-TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

THAT MAKES TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW I AM UP BY 4:30AM!!

NOT SURE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME LATELY.  I SEEM TO BE WAKING UP AT THE SAME TIME TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW.  MIKE IS SLEEPING SOUNDLY, AND MY HOSPICE FRIEND WILL BE HERE AT 9:30, SO I CAN MAKE IT TO MY DR.'S APT. AT 10.  THEY HAVE BEEN SUCH A BLESSING.  I HAVE ONLY USED THE SAME VOLUNTEER, AS I WANT MIKE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH HER.  HE KNOWS MARY JO NOW, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING.  SHE IS VERY KIND, AND I SURE DO APPRECIATE HER HELPING ME OUT LIKE THIS.  SHE SAID THAT WHEN HER MOM WAS DYING THAT HOSPICE HELPED HER, SO SHE WANTS TO GIVE BACK.  MIKE DID EAT SOME DINNER LAST NIGHT-HALF AN ORANGE A LITTLE OF THE CHICKEN SALAD FONDA MADE, SOME MASH POTATOES, AND A VERY LITTLE BIT OF BEEF.  I WAS VERY HAPPY, AS HE HAD NOT EATEN ANYTHING SINCE BREAKFAST!!  I ON THE OTHER HAND AM EATING EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT NAILED DOWN!!  LAST NIGHT I ATE ONE WHOLE BAG OF COOKIES PLUS THE START OF A SECOND BAG, AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE STORE BOUGHT COOKIES!!!!  ALL I KNOW IS BY THE TIME ALL THIS IS BEHIND ME, MY BEHIND WILL BE AS BIG AS THE HOUSE!!  RIGHT NOW, IT DOES NOT SEEM TO MATTER TO ME-I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SELF CONTROL. BOY DO I KNOW WHICH ONE OF THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT I AM LACKING!!! SURE HOPE THIS BEHAVIOR WILL STOP AS MY NERVES START TO SETTLE DOWN (NOW THAT I AM ON NERVE PILLS).  MIKE DID SOMETHING WITH THE T.V. REMOTE LAST NIGHT, AS WHEN I GOT UP AT 4:30AM THE T.V. WAS STILL ON, AND I HAD TO GO INTO THE SPARE BED ROOM, AND USE THAT REMOTE TO TURN IT OFF.  I HAVE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW, AND HE EITHER TOOK IT TO BED WITH HIM, OR THE DOGS MISTOOK IT FOR A BONE, AND IT IS NOW BURIED SOMEWHERE IN OUR BACK YARD!!  IT SEEMS LIKE I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THESE DAYS JUST LOOKING FOR STUFF MIKE HAS MISPLACED.  HIS CANE, HIS WALLET, HIS HAT, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.  I KNOW IT IS NOT HIS FAULT, SO I JUST MAKE A GAME OF IT TILL WHAT EVER IT IS THAT IS MISSING GETS FOUND. WELL, I DO NEED TO GET A MOVE ON, I HAVE LOTS TO DO BEFORE MARY JO GETS HERE.  HOPE YOUR MORNING AND YOUR DAY WILL BE MEMORABLE-(IN A GOOD WAY) JUST ME

NOT GREAT NEWS YESTERDAY

MIKE'S HOSPICE DR. WAS HERE YESTERDAY MORNING, AND I TOLD HIM PRETTY MUCH EVERY THING THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON, SINCE MIKE WAS STILL FAST ASLEEP.  AFTER WE SPOKE, HE WENT INTO THE BED ROOM, AND CHECKED ALL MIKE'S VITALS, CHECKED UNDER HIS EYES, POKED AROUND HIS TUMMY, ASKED MIKE IF HE HAD ANY QUESTIONS, OR IF HE WAS IN ANY PAIN.  MIKE ANSWERED "NO" TO EACH OF HIS QUESTIONS, SO THEN WE LEFT THE ROOM, MIKE ROLLED OVER AND WENT RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP (TILL 12:45PM), AND THE DR. AND I SPOKE AGAIN.  HE SAID THAT MIKE WAS ON THE DECLINE.  ALL THAT SEDIMENT IN HIS OSTOMY BAG IS THE CANCER BREAKING DOWN ON THE INSIDE OF HIS BODY.  HE SAID IF HE GETS ANOTHER INFECTION, WE CAN TREAT THAT, BUT THAT THERE ARE THINGS GOING ON THAT ARE JUST PART OF THE PROCESS THAT WE CAN'T CHANGE.  I HAD ASKED HIM IF I SHOULD TRY AND MAKE MIKE WAKE UP EARLIER, AND AFTER A LONG EXPLANATION WHY I SHOULD NOT DO THAT-THE ANSWER WAS NO.  HE IS VERY WEAK NOW AND WILL BE NEEDING MORE AND MORE SLEEP-I SHOULD LET HIM SLEEP, BUT WHEN HE GETS UP, I SHOULD TRY AND GET HIM OUT SIDE (EVEN ON THE BACK PORCH) FOR SOME FRESH AIR.  HE SAID THAT THE CANCER GETS INTO THE BLOOD AND THAT IS WHY HE GETS PALE AND HAS LESS AND LESS ENERGY.  HE WAS VERY KIND-HUGGED ME WHEN HE LEFT, AND SAID HE AND THE REST OF THE TEAM WILL BE HERE FOR ME ALL THROUGH THE PROCESS.  I FELT NUMB.  I TOOK A NERVE PILL AND SAID A PRAYER.  THANKFULLY MY DAUGHTER FONDA WILL BE ABLE TO  WATCH MIKE THIS THURS. NIGHT, SO I CAN ONCE AGAIN MAKE MY MEETING.  JAH. TRULY KNOWS WHAT I NEED!!!  BTW, I LOST 6 WHOLE POUNDS LAST WEEK, BUT I AM SO SURE I HAVE PUT THEM ON AGAIN AS WELL AS SEVERAL OF THEIR FRIENDS!!! I HAVE BEEN EATING NON STOP FOR TWO DAYS NOW-EVEN ATE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF GREEN OLIVES (SORRY SON)!!!  WELL, DIRECT T.V. IS SUPPOSE TO BE HERE SOON, AS I AM SWITCHING OVER TO SAVE $50. A MONTH ON A BUNDLE.  ALSO THEY DO NOT HAVE A CONTRACT, SO IF I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THEM I CAN ALWAYS CANCEL.  GOT TO SAVE EVERY WHICH WAY I CAN FROM NOW ON!!  I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HAPPIER DAYS-ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF YOURS TODAY!!  JUST ME

WE SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND LISTENED TO THE OLDIES

THERE IS THIS WONDERFUL CHANNEL ON BRIGHT HOUSE (424) THAT PLAYS THE OLDIES ALL THE TIME, AND GIVES YOU PICTURES OF THE REFORMERS, AND A LITTLE INFO ON THEM.  WE ENJOY LISTENING TO IT AND THAT'S WHAT WE DID FOR A WHILE YESTERDAY-AT LEAST UNTIL THE BIG GAME CAME ON.  I KEPT CHECKING WITH MIKE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THE GAME TO SEE WHO WAS AHEAD, AND HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY "I HAVE NO IDEA".  HE IS JUST NOT ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE GAME AS IN YEARS PAST. IN FACT WHEN HE CAME TO BED HE SAID IT WAS ALL TOO CONFUSING.  OUR YOUNGEST WAS OVER  EARLIER IN THE DAY, AND PLAYED SOME RUMMIKUB WITH US.  MIKE LIKES THAT GAME, AND USUALLY DOES PRETTY WELL.  HE DID NOT GET UP UNTIL 12:45 YESTERDAY, SO WE DID NOT MAKE OUR MEETING, BUT DURING BREAKFAST HE SAID "AREN'T WE SUPPOSE TO BE AT OUR PLACE (THE K.H.) NOW"? I DID NOT WANT HIM TO FEEL BADLY FOR SLEEPING SO LATE, SO I TOLD HIM I HAD LISTENED ON THE PHONE TO GOLDENROD'S MEETING EARLIER THIS AM, AS I THOUGHT WE WOULD BE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WITH VICKIE (MY SISTER) TO SEE MARTHA (OUR NEIGHBOR) AROUND NOON.  I THINK HE FELT A LITTLE BETTER KNOWING THAT.  BUT THEN MARTHA DID NOT WANT US TO COME, AS I HAVE BEEN SICK, AND NOW MY SISTER VICKIE SOUNDS LIKE SHE MIGHT BE GETTING SICK, SO MARTHA SAID KEEP YOUR GERMS HOME, I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH.  I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I GET BACK HOME.  I WAS ACTUALLY GLAD, AS I JUST DID NOT FEEL UP TO GOING ANY WHERE YESTERDAY.  I AM STILL ON THOSE STEROIDS, ANTIBIOTICS, AND BREATHING STUFF, SO I REALLY JUST WANTED TO STAY HOME.  IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN ALL DAY, AND I GUESS IT FINALLY DID RAIN LATE LAST NIGHT, OR EARLY THIS AM, AS THE GROUND IS ALL WET.  WELL MIKE'S HOSPICE DR. WILL BE HERE SHORTLY, AND I NEED TO GET DRESSED, SO TILL TOMORROW-BE SAFE-BE HAPPY!! JUST ME

BOY DID I HAVE A SCARE THIS AM!! NOT WITH MIKE EITHER.

I GOT UP EARLY AS USUAL TO LET THE DOGS OUT AND I WAS FEELING A LITTLE STRANGE.  COULD NOT PUT MY FINGER ON IT AT LEAST NOT RIGHT AWAY.  THEN I WENT TO THE LITTLE GIRLS ROOM TO TINKLE, AND WHEN I WENT TO GET UP-THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED!!  I FELL BACKWARDS INTO THE TUB!!  THANKFULLY MY HUSBANDS BATHE TUB LIFT STOPPED ME FROM FALLING ALL THE WAY BACK, AND PROBABLY CRACKING MY HEAD OPEN.  SEE-JAH. ALWAYS LOOKS OUT FOR ME!!  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HE IS SO GOOD TO US, BUT VERY GRATEFUL I SURE AM!!  I WENT AHEAD AND FIXED THE DOGIES THEIR FOOD, AND AM NOW (STILL A LITTLE SHAKEN) DRINKING MY SPECIAL CUBAN COFFEE AND TAKING ALL MY AM PILLS.  YESTERDAY WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY FOR BOTH OF US.  WE DID SOME YARD WORK TOGETHER, WE SAT OUT ON THE BACK PORCH FOR A LONG WHILE-IT WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE YESTERDAY. THEN I GAVE MIKE A HAIR CUT, THEN A NICE HOT SHOWER (FOR MYSELF). MIKE DID NOT WANT ANY LUNCH AGAIN, SO I CONVINCED HIM TO HAVE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE WITH MARSHMALLOWS (WHICH HE STILL REALLY ENJOYS).  HE FINALLY AGREED, SO I HEATED UP A CHOCOLATE ENSURE, ADDED SOME MARSHMALLOWS, AND HE DRANK THAT.  AT LEAST THAT WAS A LITTLE BIT OF NOURISHMENT FOR HIM.  FOR DINNER HE ONLY HAD ONE PIECE OF PIZZA WHICH I MADE FOR MY ADORABLE GRANDSON CANYON, MY VERY KIND SON IN LAW MIKE(WHO WATCHED MIKE FOR ME SO THAT I COULD MAKE MY MEETING), I ALSO HAD A SALAD MADE, BUT MIKE DID NOT EAT ANY OF THAT.  HE IS STILL RESTING IN BED RIGHT NOW.  YESTERDAY IT WAS ALMOST 1PM BEFORE I COULD GET HIM OUT OF BED.  YOU CAN SEE IN HIS FACE THAT HE GETS VERY TIRED VERY EASILY NOW.  I WILL SAY THIS, HE NEVER GIVES UP!!  HE WILL BE WORKING (OR PLAYING AS I TELL HIM) IN HIS YARD TILL THE VERY END-OF THAT I  AM SURE!!  WELL, IT LOOKS TO BE ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY HERE IN ORLANDO, HOPE IT IS GORGEOUS WHERE YOU ARE TOO!!  JUST ME

" WILL I BE ALRIGHT THEN " ?

MIKE LOOKED SO PALE YESTERDAY FOR SOME REASON.  HE WAS WORKING IN THE YARD AND CAME IN LOOKING WHITE AS A GHOST.  I GOT HIM TO SIT IN HIS CHAIR AND BROUGHT HIM HIS KICKIPOO DRINK (WHAT HE CALLS LEMONADE).  I COULD SEE HE WAS IN SOME PAIN, SO I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED ME TO RUB HIS LEGS WITH THE CREAM HOSPICE GIVES US FOR HIS PAIN, AND THAT'S WHEN HE SAID THE ABOVE.  SOUNDED JUST LIKE A CHILD TALKING ABOUT SOME BOO BOO AND NEEDING REASSURANCE THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE OK. . HIS HOSPICE NURSE WAS HERE YESTERDAY, AND WAS ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT THE ADDITIONAL WEIGHT LOSS, AND HIS LACK OF HUNGER OR THIRST.  SHE IS STILL CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEDIMENT IN HIS OSTOMY BAG, ALTHOUGH I THINK THE ANTIBIOTICS HAVE STOPPED THE BLOOD.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED, BUT IT IS EARLY-ONLY ABOUT 7:30AM.  I HAVE A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT TODAY, AND A HOSPICE VOLUNTEER WILL BE HERE TO WATCH MIKE FOR ME WHILE I AM GONE.  BTW, MY WONDERFUL SON IN LAW MIKE WILL BE WATCHING MIKE FOR ME TONIGHT (EVEN CHANGED HIS MEETING NIGHT TO TUES.) SO THAT I CAN ONCE AGAIN GET TO MY MEETING ON THURS. NIGHT.  I WILL SEE IF I CAN GET ONE OTHER VOLUNTEER FOR ONE MORE THURS. NIGHT AT LEAST, AS THE MEETINGS HAVE SUCH A REFRESHING EFFECT ON ME AND JAH. SURE KNOWS I NEED THAT!!!  WELL, NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT THAT I THINK THAT MIKE HAS BEEN DOING BETTER MENTALLY WITH THE ARICEPT, AND THE NAMENDA TWICE A DAY.  WE PLAYED RUMMIKUB BOTH YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE, AND HE WON!!!  HOPE YOUR DAY IS BLESSED WITH LOVE-JUST ME

LAST NIGHT IT WAS ME WHO SPOKE AND MADE NO SENSE!!!

I WOKE MY SELF UP HEARING MYSELF SPEAK IN SPANISH NO LESS!!!  OF COURSE THIS TIME IT WAS MIKE WHO WAS SAYING "WHAT"?  LATER I SAID SOMETHING ELSE THAT ALSO WOKE ME UP-DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON-IT'S LIKE WE JUST SWITCHED ROLLS!!!  ANY HOW, WE BOTH SLEPT PRETTY GOOD, AND MIKE IS STILL RESTING.  I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WHILE NOW,TO LET  OUT THE DOGIES, AND FED THE LITTLE DARLINGS.  I DON'T MIND-THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO IMPORTANT WITH ALL THEIR WAGGING OF THE TAILS AND LICKING AND STUFF.  YESTERDAY WE HAD A REALLY NICE DAY.  WE DROVE OUT TO LAKESIDE VINEYARDS IN CLEARMONT, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DRIVE, AND LAKE MINNIOLA WAS JUST BREATH TAKING!!  WE DID A WINE TASTING (MIKE DID NOT WANT ANY), AND SAW A SHORT MOVIE ON HOW THE WINERY CAME TO BE.  VERY EDUCATIONAL.  THEN WE BOUGHT OUT THE PLACE CAUSE MY SISTER HAD A BUY ONE CARTON GET ONE FREE!!  BY THAT TIME WE WERE GETTING HUNGRY (ALL EXCEPT MIKE WHO HAD ONLY HAD CEREAL FOR BREAKFAST).  WE STOPPED AT CHILLI'S AND HAD A VERY LATE LUNCH (AROUND 3PM). WE GOT HOME JUST IN TIME TO GO SEE A COMEDY WITH DEBBIE REYNOLDS IN IT.  IT WAS MORE OF A MYSTERY THAN A COMEDY, BUT VICKIE AND I ENJOYED IT, BUT MIKE SAID IT WAS TOO CONFUSING.  WHEN WE GOT BACK HOME, MIKE WORKED IN THE DARK IN THE FRONT YARD FOR AT LEAST 30-45 MINUTES, WITH ME ASKING HIM TO PLEASE COME INSIDE.  HE WOULD NOT EAT ANY THING ELSE FOR ME THE REST OF THE NIGHT.  I DID GET HIM TO HAVE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE, BUT THAT IS NOT VERY NOURISHING.  HOPE TODAY HE WILL EAT BETTER FOR ME.  HIS HOSPICE NURSE IS COMING SHORTLY, SO I WILL FILL HER IN ON THE PAST FEW DAYS.  ENJOY THE SUNSHINE OF TODAY-FOR TOMORROW IT MAY RAIN!!  JUST ME