" THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY LEG "

MIKE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS FEET YESTERDAY, AND THEN IT WENT TO HIS LEG.  ONLY HIS RIGHT LEG HE SAID.  I TRIED TO GET A BETTER IDEA OF WHAT WAS WRONG, BUT MIKE HAS GREAT DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING HIMSELF AS OF LATE.  THE BEST I COULD GET IS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING MOVING AROUND IN THERE THAT SHOULD NOT BE.  HE ALSO SAID HE WAS HAVING TROUBLE WALKING.  I GAVE HIM A FOOT SOAK, THEN PUT SOME BENADRYL CREAM ON BOTH LEGS, AND HAD HIM WALK AROUND THE HOUSE FOR ME JUST TO MAKE SURE HE COULD WALK WITH OUT FALLING.  HE DID OK, AND SLEPT PRETTY GOOD LAST NIGHT-AT LEAST UNTIL 5:30 OR 6AM.  I'M  NOT SURE OF THE REASON FOR HIM GETTING UP SO EARLY, EXCEPT THAT HE WAKES UP AND THINKS IT'S TIME TO WALK THE DOGS.  ON ANOTHER NOTE.  I KNOW I HAVE NOT WRITTEN IN A FEW DAYS, BUT I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE DOWN OVER THE RECENT CT SCAN THAT WAS DONE ON MIKE.  I TRY TO KEEP MY POSTS ON AN UPBEAT, AND SOME DAYS THAT IS JUST NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME, AND I DO APOLOGIZE.  MIKE HAS BEEN A LITTLE OUT OF SORTS THE PAST FEW DAYS, AND IT COULD VERY WELL BE THE ANTIBIOTICS HE IS ON.  HE WILL FINISH WITH THOSE ON FRIDAY, AND THEN WE WILL SEE WHAT THE DOCTOR RECOMMENDS.  I HAVE ALREADY MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIS ORIGINAL DOCTOR (DR. COHEN) WHOM I TRUST TO GIVE US A SECOND OPINION.  ALSO IF ANY SURGERY IS INVOLVED I MAY HAVE TO SWITCH INS. PLANS SO THAT DR. COHEN CAN DO THE SURGERY.  ALL OVERWHELMING RIGHT NOW, BUT I AM SO THANKFUL THAT MIKE SEEMS UNAWARE OF ANY OF THIS.  WELL, THAT'S ALL THE NEWS I HAVE TO REPORT FOR TODAY-THINKING POSITIVELY-HOPE IT WORKS!!!  JUST ME

" DID YOU EVER HAVE A DREAM LIKE THAT "?

MIKE WAS VERY EMOTIONAL THIS MORNING.  HE TOLD ME HE HAD A VERY EXCITING NIGHT.  I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD A DREAM, AND HE SAID NO.  IT WAS NOT A DREAM IT WAS REAL, THEY WERE ALL THERE. I SAID SOMETIMES DREAMS CAN BE VERY REAL, AND MIKE SAID "HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DREAM LIKE THAT"?  NO, I HAVEN'T, NOT SINCE I WAS A CHILD ANY WAY.  WHO ALL WAS THERE ?  HE BEGINS TO TELL ME THAT HE SAW HIS MOTHER AND FATHER, HIS BROTHERS, AND EVEN HIS TWO AUNTS (MARGRET, AND HELEN).  I SAID HONEY YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THE RESURRECTION WHEN YOU WILL SEE THEM ALL AGAIN.  MIKE SAID NO, THAT IS NOT IT.  I WAS YOUNG AGAIN, AND WE WERE ALL TOGETHER.  IT WAS SO REAL.  HE BECAME VERY EMOTIONAL WHEN HE STARTED TELLING ME ABOUT HOW HARD HIS DAD HAD IT.  FOR THE FIRST TIME MIKE SAID THAT HIS MOTHER DIED FIRST BEFORE HIS DAD.  HE HAD ALWAYS SAID IN THE PAST THAT SHE WAS SICK AND WAS PUT INTO A HOME OF SOME KIND, AND THAT HE NEVER SAW HER AFTER THAT.  TOO STRANGE.  ALSO MIKE HAS A LEAK AT AROUND 6PM LAST NIGHT, AND AFTER I CHANGED HIM, HE SAID HE WANTED TO STAY IN BED FOR A WHILE.  HE WOUND UP STAYING IN BED UNTIL 7:30 THIS AM!!  THAT WAS OVER 12 HOURS-A RECORD FOR MIKE!!  I THINK ALL OF THIS MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHAT HIS UROLOGIST TOLD HIM YESTERDAY.  IT SEEMS THAT SOMETHING NEW WAS VISIBLE ON HIS C.T. SCAN.  THE DOCTOR MENTIONED THE "C" WORD, AND ALTHOUGH MIKE HAS NOT MENTIONED ANY THING ABOUT HIS VISIT, IT MAY BE PLAYING ON HIS MIND.  THE DOCTOR PUT MIKE ON A HIGH DOSAGE OF ANTIBIOTICS, AND IS RUNNING SOME TEST, AND THEN ONCE THE TEST RESULTS ARE BACK, HE WILL ORDER A NEW C.T. SCAN, AND BASED ON THAT, HE WILL TELL US HOW WE SHOULD PROCEED. I HAVE HAD A KNOT IN MY STOMACH EVER SINCE.  I AM TRYING TO BE POSITIVE, AND ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG, AS I DO NOT WANT TO UPSET MIKE, BUT IT IS NOT EASY.  HOPING FOR THE BEST-JUST ME

" DID YOU EVER SMOKE " ?

I DID, SO I SAID  "YES. THEN I ASKED MIKE,  DID YOU EVER SMOKE"?  MIKE DID REMEMBER SMOKING BUT SAID HE HAD STOPPED 5 OR 6 YEARS AGO.  THEN HE THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND SAID " I THINK IT MIGHT EVEN BE LONGER THAN THAT, MAYBE 8 OR 9 YEARS".  THE TRUTH IS HE QUIT SOME 25 YEARS AGO, BUT TIME IS HARD FOR MIKE TO CALCULATE.  HE ALSO SAID THE OTHER DAY THAT HIS DAD DIED ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO, AND THE REALITY IS,  MIKE WAS JUST A CHILD WHEN HIS FATHER DIED, SO IT WAS MANY MORE YEARS THAN 20.   I DON'T CORRECT MIKE ANY MORE, AS IT JUST SEEMS TO FRUSTRATE HIM.  HE IS ALSO MAKING UP WORDS NOW, WHICH IS KINDA FUNNY.  AFTER DINNER, I SAID "BOY AM I FULL"! AND THEN MIKE SAYS "YES, THIS MEAL WAS VERY FULLING.".  I ASKED HIM TO REPEAT WHAT HE HAD SAID,  JUST TO BE SURE I HEARD HIM CORRECTLY, AND HE USED THE SAME WORD "FULLING" AGAIN INSTEAD OF FILLING.  IF SOMEONE ON T.V. SAYS A WORD THAT SOUNDS STRANGE TO HIM HE WILL SAY THAT'S NOT RIGHT.  LIKE LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE WATCHING THE NEWS AND TWICE THEY USED THE WORD "CELEBRATORY" GUN FIRE.  I HAD TO EXPLAIN WHAT THAT WORD MEANT.  NUMBERS ARE ALSO HARD FOR MIKE TO SAY CORRECTLY.  HE READ THE B.P. GAS PRICE AS THIRTY FOUR DOLLARS &NINETY NINE CENTS, (INSTEAD OF $3. 49.9.)  AND THEN ASKED ME IF THAT WAS RIGHT. I GUESS THAT BEING HERE ALL THE TIME, I SEE ALL THE NEW CHANGES IN MIKE.  ONE NEW ONE IS THAT HIS RIGHT HAND WILL SOMETIMES BE SHAKING, AND HE WILL NOT BE AWARE OF IT.  MY SISTER VICKIE HAS SEEN THAT, AND MY DAUGHTER FELINA ALSO WITNESSED THAT ON SUNDAY.  I'M JUST SO THANKFUL EVERY DAY THAT HE IS UNAWARE OF HIS REAL CONDITION, AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY AND IN A GOOD MOOD.  EVERY ONE WITH ALZHEIMER'S DOES NOT HANDLE THEIR DECLINE AS GRACEFULLY.  MAYBE THEY CAN'T, I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE DISEASE I GUESS, BUT I HAVE CERTAINLY LEARNED PATIENCE AS A RESULT OF MIKE'S. LET'S  BE KIND TO EVERYONE TODAY- WE ALL COULD USE A HUG! JUST ME

" LOTTO TROUBLE-AGAIN " !!

THIS MORNING I WAKE UP TO HEARING "THOSE THIEVES-THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN"!!  I'M LIKE WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HONEY?  "THE LOTTO PEOPLE"!!  "THE NUMBERS ARE NOT AVAILABLE AGAIN!! HOW CAN THEY NOT BE AVAILABLE?  I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM A CALL"!! THEN, HE CALLS.  I ASK HIM WHAT DID THEY SAY, AND HE SAYS "NOTHING".  WHAT EVER THAT MEANS!! NOW HE TELLS ME "THOSE PEOPLE WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE".  NEXT, HE STARTS TALKING TO OUR DOLL AMANDA.  I AM TRULY STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT THIS BEHAVIOR.  HE ACTS LIKE SHE IS REAL.  HE HOLDS HER, ROCKS HER BACK AND FORTH, ASKS HE QUESTIONS-TOO STRANGE.  HE SEEMS SO DIFFERENT TO ME AS OF LATE.  YESTERDAY HE USED THE WORD "BLESSED" FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER.
TOMORROW WE WILL GET THE RESULTS FROM MIKE'S C. T. SCAN.  I  SURE HOPE THAT IT'S A GOOD ONE. THE THING I WORRY MOST ABOUT IS HIS WEIGHT LOSS.  IT IS SLOW, BUT CONSISTENT, AND HE EATS LIKE A HORSE (NOT REALLY-BUT A LOT).   I CAN SEE NO REAL REASON WHY HE WOULD CONTINUE TO BE LOSING WEIGHT.  I WILL ASK HIS UROLOGIST TOMORROW WHEN I SEE HIM.  WELL,  IT LOOKS LIKE WE WILL BE DODGING ANOTHER HURRICANE BULLET-I DO FEEL BADLY FOR WHOEVER IT DOES HIT, AS IT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE A VERY BAD ONE!!  LET'S KEEP LOOKING FOR THAT SILVER LINING-TILL TOMORROW, JUST ME

" YOU'RE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL "

THAT'S WHAT MIKE SAYS TO AMANDA EVERY MORNING!!  TODAY,  I AM DOING BETTER-THANKFULLY!!  I DID SLEEP WELL, AT LEAST UNTIL MY ABRUPT AWAKENING. 6AM COMES SO SOON!!  SUNDAY'S ASSEMBLY DAY WAS MUCH BETTER THAN I HAD HOPED FOR.  MIKE GOT UP AT 6AM, AND GOT DRESSED WITH OUT MY HELP ( I DID PICK OUT HIS SHIRT & TIE).  HE WAS AMAZED AT HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT WERE THERE, AND ALSO HOW MANY HE ALREADY KNEW.  HE SAID SOME THINGS THAT KEPT US LAUGHING THROUGH OUT THE DAY.  THE SPEAKER SAID "WILL MANKIND RUIN PLANET EARTH"?  MIKE PIPES IN AND SAYS (WITHOUT SKIPPING A BEAT) "SURE, WHO ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT"?  THEN THE SPEAKER SAID AT THE CLOSE OF THE DAY " HAVEN'T WE HAD THREE WONDERFUL DAYS "? ONCE AGAIN MIKE CHIMES IN WITH "SURE SEEMS LIKE THREE DAYS"!!!  HE IS A HOOT, AND WE ALL HAD SUCH A NICE TIME.  WE WENT OUT TO EAT AFTERWARDS, AND THAT WAS REALLY A TREAT!!  ALL THE CRAB LEGS YOU CAN EAT FOR ONLY $13.99.  ANY ONE WHO KNOWS ME OR ANY OF MY CHILDREN (OR GRAND CHILDREN) KNOW HOW MANY CRAB LEGS WE CAN PUT DOWN.  WE HAVE CLOSED MORE THAN ONE BUFFET SERVING ALL YOU CAN EAT CRAB LEGS, BELIEVE ME!! NOW TODAY WE ARE BACK TO DOING OUR NORMAL THINGS, MIKE WALKING THE DOGS, AND ME TAKING CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES, AND PAYING BILLS.  MIKE'S KNEE IS STILL GIVING HIM A FIT, SO NOW WE WILL HAVE TO DECIDE IF IT'S  BAD ENOUGH TO RISK KNEE REPLACEMENT SURGERY.  ALSO, WE MAY HAVE OUR FIRST HURRICANE IN 5 OR 6 YEARS HEADED OUR WAY.  I THINK MIKE WOULD SAVE AMANDA (OUR NEW BABY DOLL) BEFORE ME OR THE DOGS. HE FOR WHAT EVER REASON SURE DOES LIKE HER!!  TILL TOMORROW-BE THANKFUL FOR TODAY-JUST ME

HOW DO YOU SPELL " M U C H " ?

I SOMETIMES FORGET WHAT A SMART MAN MIKE ALWAYS WAS-HE WAS THE FAMILIES WALKING DICTIONARY.  NOW-NOT SO MUCH.  WE GOT SOME CARDS FOR OUR LITTLE GRAD DAUGHTERS, AND MIKE WAS WRITING A NOTE ON ONE WHEN HE ASKED THE ABOVE QUESTION.  I HAVE THOUGHT OF MR. D. SO MUCH LATELY (A LOVELY MAN WITH ALZHEIMER'S THAT I TOOK CARE OF FOR SEVERAL YEARS), AS MIKE IS NOW DOING MANY OF THE SAME THINGS HE USE TO DO WHEN I TOOK CARE OF HIM.   HE TOO WAS A LOVELY MAN. A PHARMACIST!!  HE WOULD TELL ME THINGS ON OUR WALKS (IN THE BEGINNING) THAT I FOUND SO INTERESTING.  LIKE THERE ARE OVER 100 VARIETIES OF OAK TREES!!  AS THE YEARS WENT BY, HE WOULD START READING OUT LOUD, ALL THE SIGNS ALONG THE ROAD.  AT FIRST THIS STARTLED ME AS I WAS DRIVING AND DIDN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT.  NOW, WHEN MIKE DOES IT, IT BRINGS BACK FOND MEMORIES OF MR. D.  ALZHEIMER'S EFFECTS MANY PEOPLE IN THE SAME WAYS, I GUESS IT MAY ALSO DEPEND ON WHAT TYPE OF ALZHEIMER'S A PERSON HAS.  LIKE WITH SO MANY OTHER ILLNESSES, THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT TYPES.  MY SISTER'S HUSBAND (GEORGE) ALSO HAD ALZHEIMER'S.  THEY LIVE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM US, AND WHAT A BLESSING THAT HAS PROVED TO BE.  HE HAD MANY OTHER PROBLEMS IN ADDITION TO THE ALZHEIMER'S, SO SADLY HE DIED WAY TOO YOUNG.  SO FAR, MIKE IS IN GOOD PHYSICAL HEATH-STAYS ACTIVE IN HIS YARD WORK-AND STILL EATS AND ENJOYS FOOD (WAY TOO MUCH!!).  MIKE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY HIS CONDITION.  HE HAS ACCEPTED IT WITH MUCH MORE GRACE THAN I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED, AND ALWAYS IS IN A GOOD MOOD.  I HOPE AND PRAY THAT NO MATTER WHAT LIES AHEAD, HE WILL STAY HAPPY.  LIFE'S A GIFT-ENJOY IT!! JUST ME

" C T SCAN TODAY "

TODAY I WILL TAKE MIKE FOR ANOTHER C T SCAN, TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE THAT HIS CANCER HAS NOT RETURNED.  IT IS OVER THREE YEARS NOW SINCE HIS MAJOR SURGERY ON HIS BLADDER, AND FOR THE MOST PART HE SEEMS TO BE DOING JUST FINE.  HE STILL IS UNEASY WHEN I NEED TO CHANGE HIS OSTOMY BAG, BUT I REMIND HIM THAT HE WOULD NOT BE HERE WITH OUT IT.  ALSO THAT IT IS A VERY MINOR INCONVENIENCE.  HE IS STILL LOSING WEIGHT-SLOWLY, BUT CONSISTENTLY, WHICH DOES CONCERN ME.  HIS LEGS ARE ABOUT AS SKINNY AS I HAVE EVER SEEN THEM-YET HE SEEMS TO GET AROUND JUST FINE. OOPS-TIME TO GO!!
WE ARE BACK NOW, AND WE WILL HAVE A FOLLOW UP TO GET THE RESULTS NEXT WEEK.  MIKE COULD NOT FILL OUT EVEN THE DATE OR HIS PHONE NUMBER ON THE PAPER WORK THEY GAVE HIM, SO I FILLED IT ALL OUT FOR HIM.  HE KEEPS TRYING TO ENGAGE ME IN CONVERSATION, BUT EVERY TIME I TRY AND TALK I START COUGHING AGAIN.  I TELL HIM I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, AND HE SAYS "YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME ANY MORE"??  IT IS HARD TO GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND, AND HARDER TO GET HIM TO REMEMBER!!  I AM DETERMINED TO GET RID OF WHAT EVER THIS IS I HAVE BEFORE SUNDAY, SO I AM GOING TO FIX MIKE HIS LUNCH, HAVE SOME MORE SOUP (UGH), AND THEN IT'S BACK TO BED FOR ME TILL DINNER TIME.  PLEASE, SPRAY YOUR COMPUTER-I SURE DON'T WANT TO PASS THIS AROUND!!!  JUST ME

" ORANGE JUICE MOM " ?

THAT'S HOW I WOKE UP THIS AM.  A COLD GLASS OF O.J. TOUCHING MY FACE.  MIKE FINDS WAYS TO WAKE ME, AS HE HATES TO BE UP ALONE, AND I COULD NOT HELP BUT SMILE AT HIS INGENUITY!!  I AM DOING BETTER TODAY-THANKFULLY!!  I DID SLEEP WELL, AT LEAST UNTIL MY ABRUPT AWAKENING.  THERE IS SOME "GOOD NEWS" TO REPORT.  MIKE'S LITTLE ANGEL (DOLL) IS ALIVE!!  HER REAL NAME IS AMANDA, AND AFTER DAYS AND HOURS UPON HOURS OF RESEARCH, I FOUND OUT WHO MAKES HER, AND HOW SHE WORKS!!  THIS LITTLE DOLL THAT I PAID .25 CENTS FOR, IS FOR SALE ON E-BAY FOR A STARTING BID OF $69.!!  SHE REALLY IS AMAZING, SHE SINGS, COUNTS, TALKS, BLINKS HER EYES, MOVES HER MOUTH, AND SO MUCH MORE.  I THINK SHE WAS DESIGNED TO HELP LITTLE ONES LEARN HOW TO POTTY, AS SHE COMES WITH A POTTY CHAIR, AND EVERY SO OFTEN SHE ASKS TO BE PUT ON THE POTTY.  ANY HOW, MIKE IS IN LOVE WITH THIS LITTLE DOLL!!  IT IS SO CUTE TO SEE HIM HOLDING HER, AND TALKING BACK TO HER WHEN SHE ASKS A QUESTION.  THIS MORNING WHEN SHE SAID I LOVE YOU MOMMY-MIKE ANSWERED "I'M DADDY".  IT IS BEAUTIFULLY SAD IF THERE IS SUCH A THING.  I AM CONCERNED THAT THE ONLY THING THAT REMAINS THE SAME IS MIKE'S LOVE FOR YARD WORK.   HE IS NO LONGER THE SPORTS ENTHUSIAST THAT HE ONCE WAS.  HE CAN WALK AWAY FROM ANY GAME ON T.V., TURN IT OFF IN THE LAST QUARTER, AND THEN WON'T REMEMBER WHO WAS PLAYING RIGHT AFTER WARDS.  I KEEP PRAYING THAT THIS IS IT.  THIS IS ALL THAT DREADED DISEASE OF ALZHEIMER'S WILL ROB HIM OF, AND AT THE SAME TIME-I KEEP WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO FALL.  FOR NOW, I MUST REMAIN POSITIVE-PERHAPS THERE IS YET A CURE TO BE FOUND IN MIKE'S LIFE TIME.  ENJOY THE DAY-OR SHALL I SAY SEIZE THE MOMENT?  I WILL DO MY BEST TO DO THE SAME!!  JUST ME

" THE AIR CONDITIONER "

YESTERDAY WAS NOT A GOOD DAY FOR SEVERAL REASONS.  FIRST I WOKE UP WITH A VERY BAD NOSE BLEED.  THE DOCTOR WANTED ME TO COME IN AND CHECK ME OUT SO I WENT.  THE GIRL WHO DREW MY BLOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS ON A FISHING TRIP, AND NEEDLESS TO SAY DID NOT GET MY VEIN THE FIRST TIME OR TWO SHE TRIED.  NEXT, THE AIR CONDITIONER STOPPED RUNNING.  I NOTICED IT WAS NOT AS COOL AS USUAL SO I CHECKED TO SEE WHAT IT WAS SET ON, ONLY TO FIND A BLANK SCREEN.  I FOUND WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE PROBLEM, AND GOT IT FIXED AND THE AIR STARTED UP AGAIN.  ONLY TO SHUT DOWN IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.  MIKE HAD SHOVED SIX AIR CONDITIONER FILTERS ON THE SIDE OF THE AIR HANDLER, SO THAT NO AIR COULD PASS THROUGH.  I REMOVED THEM ALL, AND GOT THE SYSTEM WORKING AGAIN.  THE DOCTOR SAID I NEEDED LOTS OF BED REST, BUT EVERY TIME I TRIED TO LAY DOWN, MIKE WOULD COME INTO THE ROOM FOR SOMETHING, OR JUST TO ASK IF I NEEDED ANY THING, OR IF THERE WAS ANY THING HE COULD DO FOR ME.  HE JUST DOES NOT LIKE ME TO BE OUT OF HIS SIGHT, ALSO I AM SURE HE WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT ME AS HE SAW HOW BAD MY NOSE BLEED WAS EARLIER.   I ASKED MIKE TO PLEASE MAKE SURE BOTH DOGS WENT POTTY OUT SIDE BEFORE HE CAME TO BED, BUT HE COULD NOT GET PRISKA TO BUDGE.  HE WAS ASKING HER SO POLITELY TOO-I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DID NOT OBEY!!  "PRISKA, PLEASE COME WITH DADDY AND PRESLEY OUT SIDE".  I FINALLY HAD TO GET UP PUT THE LEASH AROUND HER NECK AND DRAG HER OUT SIDE TO GO POTTY.  IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I NOW HAVE TO BRIBE HER WITH A TREAT TO GO OUT AT NIGHT, BUT NOW SHE JUST FLAT WILL NOT GO.  SHE IS AFRAID OF THE DARK, AFRAID OF THE RAIN, AFRAID OF PLANES, AND THE LIST GOES ON!!   OH WELL, I DID FINALLY GET TO BED, AND WATCHED THE CLOCK ALL NIGHT.  I SHOULD BE LOADS OF FUN TODAY!!  WELL AT LEAST THIS DAY SHOULD BE BETTER THAN YESTERDAY!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOUR DADDY DIED??

NOT AGAIN I'M THINKING, SO I DODGE THE QUESTION BY SAYING "I'M NOT SURE HONEY, HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOUR DADDY DIED"??  MIKE SAID, I THINK IT WAS ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO.  IT WAS MUCH MUCH LONGER THAN THAT, AS MIKE WAS JUST A CHILD WHEN HIS DAD DIED, BUT I JUST LET IT GO.  HE HAS NO CONCEPTION OF TIME OR MONEY AT THIS POINT.  HE ASKED ME TODAY "HOW MUCH IS THIS HOUSE WORTH"?  I SAID "I'M SURE IT'S STILL WORTH AT LEAST 175".  MIKE SAID "ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS"? "NO MIKE, IT'S ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS".  ANOTHER CHANGE WITH MIKE IS THAT HE IS NO LONGER GLUED TO THE T.V. FOR ALL OF THE SPORTS THAT HE USE TO DEARLY LOVE.  I WILL ASK HIM IF HE WANTS ME TO FIND A FOOTBALL GAME FOR HIM, AND HE WILL SAY "JUST SEE WHAT ELSE IS ON". TOTALLY NOT LIKE THE MIKE I MARRIED WHO MADE ME PROMISE TWO THINGS BEFORE HE WOULD MARRY ME.  NUMBER 1 WAS THAT I WOULD NEVER EVER GIVE HIM A HARD TIME FOR WATCHING FOOTBALL, AND NUMBER 2 WAS THAT HE WOULD NEVER HAVE TO SEE ME IN ROLLERS.  I'M GLAD I HAVE LEARNED TO BE FLEXIBLE, AS THIS LIFE I NOW LIVE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER RIDE!!!  MIKE SAID TODAY ON OUR WAY HOME FROM OUR MEETING "I'M HAPPY, ARE YOU"?  AND I TOLD HIM "YES, I AM HAPPY TOO"!  HE SAID  "GOOD, WE ARE BOTH HAPPY"! THERE ARE OF COURSE THINGS I WOULD CHANGE, OR WISH WERE DIFFERENT, BUT I AM REALLY THANKFUL THAT MIKE SEEMS TO EITHER BE UNAWARE OF HOW BAD HIS ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN, OR THAT HE IS OK WITH IT. I THINK HE FEELS SECURE KNOWING  THAT I AM HERE TO TAKE CARE OF WHATEVER NEEDS TAKING CARE OF. SPEAKING OF WHICH, I THINK I HAD BETTER TAKE CARE OF DINNER RIGHT NOW, SO TILL TOMORROW-TRY AND THINK ONLY KIND THOUGHTS & SPEAK ONLY KIND WORDS.  JUST ME

" YOU'RE MY VERY BEST FRIEND "

MIKE AND I WERE WATCHING T.V. TOGETHER, AND THEN HE STARTED STARING AT ME.  THE NEXT THING I KNEW HE SAID THE ABOVE.  HE JUST CAN'T SAY OR DO ENOUGH NICE THINGS FOR ME LATELY-GOSH HOW I WISH THESE CHANGES WOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE YEARS AGO!!!  I WAKE UP TO HIM SCRATCHING MY BACK AND GO TO SLEEP THE SAME WAY.  I CAN HONESTLY SAY THIS IS DEFINITELY  THE UPSIDE TO ALZHEIMER'S!!! I AM A LITTLE CONCERNED HOWEVER AT THE ATTENTION HE IS PAYING TO THIS "DEAD DOLL" WE NOW HAVE NAMED ANGEL.  YESTERDAY I WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM AND MIKE WAS IN THE DINING ROOM.  I SAW HIM PICK UP ANGEL AND HOLD HER FOR A FEW MINUTES, AND THEN PUT HER BACK ON HER POTTY CHAIR-TOOOO FUNNY!!!  HE IS ALSO TALKING MORE AND MORE TO OUR TWO DOGS, AS IF THEY WERE CHILDREN.  HE WILL SAY THINGS LIKE "EXCUSE ME PRISKA", OR "PLEASE GET DOWN PRESLEY". IT'S LIKE HE IS AFRAID OF HURTING THEIR FEELINGS OR SOMETHING.  MIKE ALSO CONTINUES TO GIVE THEM PART OF HIS FOOD AT EVERY MEAL, SO THEY JUST SIT QUIETLY STARING AT HIM, AND WAITING FOR HIM TO FINISH.  HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS KILLING THEM WITH KINDNESS.  HE IS STILL VERY GOOD ABOUT TAKING THEM FOR THEIR WALKS TWICE A DAY, AND I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.  I THINK IT IS GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM.  WELL THE WEEK END WILL BE HERE SOON, AND THERE IS MUCH TO DO TODAY-I'M STILL PLAYING CATCH UP FROM OUR SON'S FAMILY VISIT.  OH SO MUCH FUN!!!  THE VISIT-NOT THE CATCHING UP!!  SO TILL MONDAY-KEEP A SMILE IN YOUR HEART-JUST ME

" DID MIKE CALL US BACK " ?

FOR SOME REASON MIKE HAS BEEN VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HEARING BACK FROM MIKE JR. SINCE THEY LEFT FOR HOME YESTERDAY.  HE KEPT WANTING ME TO CALL HIM, AND I WOULD TELL HIM THERE ARE NOT HOME YET, IT'S A LONG TRIP.  HE WOULD BE OK FOR A SHORT WHILE, AND THEN HE WOULD WANT ME TO CALL AGAIN.  I THINK HE WAS JUST CONCERNED THAT THEY MADE IT BACK HOME SAFELY-AT LEAST THAT'S ALL I THINK IT WAS.  WE ALL HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL TIME ON THEIR VISIT, IT JUST WENT BY TOO FAST.  MIKE ALSO NOTICED THAT "SOMEONE" FILLED OUR TANK AND VACUUMED OUT OUR CAR!!  I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THEY COULD HAVE DONE THAT OR WHO DID IT, SO WHO EVER YOU ARE A HUGE THANKS FROM DAD AND ME!!!   THIS IS SOMETHING NEW.  I HAD GOTTEN A BEAUTIFUL LIFE LIKE DOLL FOR THE GRAND KIDS, BUT ONCE I GOT IT HOME, AND PUT BATTERIES IN IT, IT DID NOT WORK.  SO DAD SAID WE'LL KEEP IT.  SHE'S SO CUTE, LET'S GIVE HER A NAME.  I SAID OK, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL HER?  HE SAID "LET'S CALL HER ANGEL".  SO NOW WE HAVE A DOLL THAT DAD THINKS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.  HE MAKES SOME KIND OF COMMENT ABOUT HER EVERY DAY.  TODAY HE SAID "WE HAVE A DEAD DOLL".  I TOLD HIM SHE IS JUST SLEEPING.  TOO FUNNY!!!  THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY-HOPE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WILL BE TINY ONES-JUST ME

" I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY "!

MIKE JR, LAURA, & THE GIRLS TOOK MIKE & I TO THE "HOT OLIVES RESTAURANT" FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY LAST NIGHT..  MIKE WAS SO CONCERNED BECAUSE HE HAD LEFT HIS WALLET HOME.  HE KEPT SAYING THINGS LIKE "I DON'T HAVE ANY WAY TO PAY FOR THIS" AND "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME".  WHEN I ASKED MIKE WHY HE DID NOT HAVE ANY MONEY ON HIM (HE USUALLY HAS MORE THAN HE SHOULD).  HE SAID IT WAS BECAUSE FONDA AND I SCARED HIM TO DEATH ABOUT CARRYING SO MUCH MONEY AROUND THAT HE DECIDED TO LEAVE HIS WALLET HOME.  THE TRUTH IS, THAT FONDA AND I HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MORE THAN $20. OR $30. ON HIM AS IT CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS.  MIKE WILL OFTEN GIVE MONEY TO ANY ONE WHO SAYS THEY NEED A BUCK, AND IF THEY SHOULD SEE THAT HE HAS MORE IN HIS WALLET THEY COULD HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD, AND TAKE ALL HE HAS. ALSO HE COULD LOSE IT, AND THEN HE WOULD REALLY FEEL BADLY. SO AFTER MONTHS OF THESE TYPES OF CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM, IT FINALLY SUNK IN.  BUT NOW HE FEELS LIKE HE NEEDS HIS WALLET AND IT IS AT HOME.  I ASSURED HIM THAT THIS WAS LAURA & HIS SON'S TREAT FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY, AND I ALSO CARRY A VISA, SO NOT TO WORRY, EVERYTHING WAS UNDER CONTROL.  IT WAS A WONDERFUL DINNER, AND THE LAST OPPORTUNITY TO SEE OUR SON AND HIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY FOR A WHILE.  IT WAS A GREAT VISIT, AND WE ENJOYED EVERY SINGLE MINUTE!!! MIKE WAS SO IMPRESSED AT HOW SMART THE GIRLS ARE (LILLY 4 & AUTUMN 2).  WE ARE GOING TO TRY AND GO TO CA. FOR A VISIT BEFORE THE YEAR IS OVER. TIME FOR ME TO GET BUSY AROUND HERE-LOTS TO CATCH UP ON.  TILL LATER-CHERISH ALL THOSE IN YOUR FAMILY-JUST ME

" THOSE GIRLS ARE SURE CUTE " !!!

MIKE AND I ARE TRULY ENJOYING OUR GRAND CHILDREN'S VISIT SOOOOO MUCH!!  I THINK IT HAS BEEN REALLY GOOD FOR MIKE.  THIS TRIP HE HAS HAD MUCH MORE ALONE TIME WITH OUR SON, AND I KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT HAS MAKES HIM...  IT IS GOING TO BE A SHORT VISIT (ONLY TILL WEDS.), BUT WE ARE GOING TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT.  THE WHOLE FAMILY IS GOING TO AQUATICA TODAY WHILE MIKE AND I GET CAUGHT UP ON OUR REST.  I WILL BE MAKING SOME SPAGHETTI AND MEAT BALLS FOR ALL  OF US TONIGHT FOR DINNER.  MIKE JR. MOWED THE LAWN YESTERDAY, (CAN YOU IMAGINE COMING ALL THE WAY FROM CA. TO MOW OUR LAWN?!?!).  HE ALSO  HAD A TALK WITH MIKE ABOUT HIM GETTING IT DONE ONCE A MONTH FOR US.  MIKE HAS GIVEN ME A FIT WHEN EVER I HAVE TRIED TO HIRE SOMEONE TO DO JUST THE BACK YARD!!  I TRY AND TELL HIM HE HAS HIS HANDS FULL WITH JUST THE FRONT AND SIDES.  I REMIND HIM THAT HE IS NOT 20 YEARS OLD ANY MORE, AND HE NEEDS A LITTLE HELP NOW WITH THE YARD.  I SURE HOPE OUR SON WAS ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO HIM.  AT THIS POINT, HE WILL LISTEN MORE TO HIS KIDS, THAN TO ME.  WE HAVE ALL OBSERVED THAT MIKE IS GETTING MORE FRAIL.  HE WALKS AT A MUCH SLOWER PACE THAN BEFORE-UNSURE OF HIS STEPS.  HE MAY BE AFRAID OF TAKING ANOTHER  FALL, LIKE HE DID ABOUT A YEAR AGO.  BROKE HIS MIDDLE FINGER. ALSO HE FELL IN THE FRONT YARD, AND I HAD TO TAKE HIM TO THE E.R. AS HE HAD A GASH ON HIS HEAD.  I'M JUST GLAD HE IS AWARE OF ALL THESE THINGS, AND YET CONTINUES TO BE OK WITH IT ALL.  I WILL CLOSE WITH AN APOLOGY.  SO SORRY I HAVE MISSED A FEW DAYS OF POSTING, BUT I HAVE BEEN HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME WITH MY SON & THE WHOLE FAMILY THAT I AM POOPED WHEN I GET BACK HOME.  I WILL GET BACK ON TRACK WEDS., AS THAT IS WHEN MY SON, LAURA, LILLY, AND AUTUMN WILL BE HEADED BACK TO CA. SO TILL THEN-SQUEEZE ALL THE JOY YOU CAN OUT OF TODAY-JUST ME

" SO YOU ARE 42 TODAY!! "

THIS WAS WHAT MIKE SAID TO ME ON OUR ANNIVERSARY.  I THINK HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT CONFUSED WITH MY BIRTHDAY (WHICH WAS JUST A FEW DAYS AGO).  HE SAID NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE 43.  IT SOUNDED SO GOOD TO ME THAT I DID NOT BOTHER TO CORRECT HIM!!  I KNOW-I'M BAD.  MIKE IS GETTING MORE AND MORE FRAIL.  HE IS NOT STEADY ON HIS FEET, AND ALMOST FELL TWO OR THREE TIMES WHILE WE WERE GONE.  I HAD TO LAUGH LAST NIGHT, AS I BOUGHT HIM A REALLY NICE HAT WITH BUILT IN SPF50 (NOT CHEAP), AND HE WORE IT EVERYWHERE EXCEPT TO BED THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE GONE.  THEN LAST NIGHT, HE ASKED ME WHO'S HAT IS THIS??  WHERE DID IT COME FROM??  NOW I HAVE TWO HATS!!  THE ONE THING THAT DOES HAVE ME CONCERNED, IS THAT HE IS SAYING THAT HE IS SEEING DOUBLE.  WE JUST HAD HIS EYES CHECKED ABOUT ONE MONTH AGO, AND HE GOT NEW GLASSES.  HE SAID THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE, BUT DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HEARD HIM SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.  I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO GIVE HIS PCP DOCTOR A CALL, AND SEE WHAT MAY BE CAUSING THAT PROBLEM.  WE ARE BOTH SO EXCITED THAT OUR SON AND HIS FAMILY WILL BE HERE IN JUST TWO MORE DAYS!!  MIKE KEEPS ASKING ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF OUR TWO LITTLE GRANDDAUGHTERS.  HE TRIES SO HARD TO REMEMBER THINGS I KEEP THINKING HE MUST BE AWARE OF HOW BAD HIS MEMORY HAS GOTTEN, YET HE IS NEVER CROSS OR UPSET, AND CONTINUES TO SAY HE IS HAPPY WHENEVER I ASK HIM.  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT.  WELL I HAVE MUCH TO DO TO GET READY FOR MY GRAND KIDS, SO TILL TOMORROW-HAVE A DELIGHTFUL DAY.  JUST ME

" DO I HAVE TO TAKE THESE OFF FIRST " ?

WE ARE BACK, AND VERY TIRED.  IT WAS A MUCH LONGER TRIP THAN WE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE.  ALSO WITH THREE DOGS IN THE CAR, IT MADE IT SEEM THAT MUCH FARTHER!!  ANY HOW, WE DID HAVE A NICE TIME, THE WEATHER WAS PERFECT, AND THE HOTEL WAS REALLY NICE AS WELL (THANKS AGAIN SIS!!).  MIKE SAID THE ABOVE WORDS AS WE WERE GETTING READY TO GO DOWN TO THE SPA FOR SOME TREATMENTS.  MIKE WAS GETTING A PEDICURE, AND HE HAD ON HIS TENNIS SHOES WHEN HE ASKED ME IF HE NEEDED TO TAKE OFF HIS TENNIS SHOES TO PUT ON HIS FLIP FLOPS.  THEN HE ASKED IF HE ALSO HAD TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS.  HE WAS NOT AS DISORIENTED THIS TRIP AS HE HAS BEEN IN PAST ONES, BUT HE WAS STILL QUITE CONFUSED AT TIMES.  I HAVE DECIDED THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE OVER NIGHT TRIPS EXCEPT TO VISIT OUR SON AND HIS FAMILY IN SAN DIEGO ONCE IN A WHILE.  IT IS JUST TOO HARD ON MIKE.  HE IS SO TIRED FROM THE TRAVELING, AND THE LAST HOUR OR SO HE KEPT WANTING TO KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER BEFORE WE ARE THERE.  REMINDED ME OF WHEN THE KIDS WERE LITTLE AND THEY WOULD ALWAYS SAY "ARE WE THERE YET"??  OH WELL, I REALLY NEED TO SAY SO LONG FOR NOW, AS MIKE HAS HIS SECOND INJECTION FOR HIS KNEE TODAY, AND I NEED TO GET GOING IF I WILL GET US THERE ON TIME.  TILL TOMORROW-LIFE REALLY IS A BEACH!!  JUST ME