YESTERDAY WAS SUCH A NICE DAY FOR MIKE AND ME

MIKE GOT UP AROUND 1PM YESTERDAY, AND ATE HIS BREAKFAST AND TOOK HIS PILLS.. HE ASKED THE DOGS IF THEY WERE HAPPY, SO I ASKED MIKE IF HE WAS HAPPY, AND HE SAID "YES".  WE SAT OUT SIDE FOR A LONG WHILE, AND HE WOULD SAY "THEY ARE COMING TO ORLANDO" EVERY TIME A PLANE WOULD FLY OVER HEAD.  HE WAS SPEAKING GOOD FOR A WHILE YESTERDAY, BUT THEN IT WENT BACK TO GIBBERISH.  MIKE STILL ENJOYS MUSIC, AS I KEEP THE OLDIES ON A LOT, AND HE MOVES HIS FEET TO THE BEAT.  WE SIT IN THE LOVE SIT AND HOLD HANDS LIKE WE WERE TWO YOUNG KIDS IN LOVE.  IT'S WONDERFUL TO HAVE THOSE PRECIOUS MOMENTS WITH MIKE.  I KNOW FROM WHAT THE HOSPICE DR. SAID (AND WHAT I CAN SEE) THAT MIKE IS MOST LIKELY IN HIS LAST WEEKS.  HE IS STILL IN A GOOD MOOD MOST OF THE TIME, AND TRIES SO HARD TO GET HIS LEGS TO WORK.  HE NEEDS MORE AND MORE HELP WITH THINGS, AND HE IS VERY APPRECIATIVE WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO DO EVEN MORE!!  I HAVE HAD AN ON GOING HEADACHE FOR DAYS NOW-I AM TOLD IT IS PROBABLY A MIGRAINE.  THANKS TO OUR DAUGHTER FONDA I WILL BE GETTING A MASSAGE TODAY OF MY NECK AND SHOULDERS.  I SURE HOPE THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF THE STRESS I AM CARRYING THERE, AND HELP WITH THE HEADACHE.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THEY NOW USE BOTOX FOR MIGRAINES????  THEY INJECT THE STUFF IN THE BASE OF YOUR SKULL TO RELAX THE MUSCLES.  FINALLY A GOOD USE FOR THAT STUFF!!!  WONDER WHAT USEFUL PURPOSE THEY CAN FIND FOR SILICONE.  ANY HOW MIKE IS STILL SLEEPING, AND HOPEFULLY NOT IN ANY PAIN.  MIKE AND I BOTH LISTENED TO OUR MEETING LAST NIGHT, AND IT WAS AWESOME.  MIKE EVEN GOT TEARY EYED AFTER THE PRAYER.  I MISS BEING PRESENT AT THE MEETINGS, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, IT IS SO NICE THAT MIKE AND I CAN LISTEN TO THEM TOGETHER.  I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH HE IS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND AT THIS POINT, BUT I'M SURE WHAT EVER HE DOES, IT IS COMFORTING.  AGAIN, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL MY FAMILY & FRIENDS WHO HAVE BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE, OFFERED THEIR TIME, AND OR SERVICES TO HELP AT THIS DIFFICULT TIME IN OUR LIVES. EACH ONE OF YOU ARE IN OUR PRAYERS OF THANKS TO THE ONLY TRUE GOD-JEHOVAH.  HOPE YOUR DAY IS PEACEFUL, STRESS LESS, AND HAPPY.  JUST ME

"THE NURSE CAME TODAY, BUT I WASN'T HERE"

WHEN OUR DAUGHTER FONDA ASKED MIKE ABOUT NURSE PEGGY COMING OVER-THAT IS WHAT HE SAID (THE ABOVE).  OF COURSE HE WAS HERE, AND HE SAW AND SPOKE WITH NURSE PEGGY.  SHE AND HIS HOSPICE DR. HAVE PUT HIM ON A STRONGER PATCH, AND A STRONGER DOSE OF THE MORPHINE TO HELP CONTROL HIS PAIN. I AM PRAYING THAT IT HELPS!! MIKE DID SAY SOMETHING THAT REALLY SHOCKED AND SURPRISED ME YESTERDAY.  HE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING, AND I ASKED HIM TO REPEAT IT AFTER TRYING MY BEST TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY.  I THEN FINALLY TOLD HIM THAT I WAS SORRY, BUT I JUST DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING.  TO MY SURPRISE HE REPLIED "THAT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT SPEAKING CORRECTLY".  HE SAID THAT AS CLEAR AS A BELL!!  THAT MEANS, HE DOES UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS NOW SPEAKING MOSTLY GIBBERISH.  IT MUST BE TERRIBLE FOR HIM TO BE TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING, AND SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH MOST OF THE TIME.  TODAY, I HAVE A HOSPICE VOLUNTEER COMING TO WATCH MIKE THIS A.M., AS I HAVE NOT HAD MY HAIR CUT IN MONTHS.  MIKE KNOWS HER (SORT OF), AS SHE HAS SAT WITH HIM A COUPLE TIMES BEFORE.  MY LEFT KNEE AND UPPER LEG IS NOW KILLING ME WHEN I WALK.  I FELT MYSELF PULL SOMETHING YESTERDAY WHEN I GOT UP TO FAST.  MIKE WAS TRYING TO SAY HIS KNEE PROBLEM WAS CONTAGIOUS-IT WAS NOT CLEAR AS A BELL LIKE BEFORE, BUT I STILL GOT IT.  HE STILL HAS HIS SENSE OF HUMOR LOCKED UP IN THERE AND I LOVE IT WHEN I GET A GLIMPSE OF THE OLE MIKE.  IT LOOKS LIKE MY BATTERY ON MY COMPUTER IS DYING, SO I WILL HAVE SAY SO LONG FOR TODAY.  HOPE TO SEE YOU BACK HERE IN THE A.M., AND THAT YOUR DAY WILL BE LIKE A WALK IN THE PARK!!  JUST ME

MIKE IS MAKING LESS AND LESS SENSE WHEN HE SPEAKS NOW.

BEFORE, IF YOU DID NOT KNOW MIKE, YOU MIGHT THINK HE WAS O.K. AS HE COULD AT LEAST SAY THINGS LIKE "HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU, I'M FINE", AND OTHER SUCH PHRASES. NOW IT IS MUCH MORE APPARENT THAT NOT ONLY IS HIS BODY BEING RAVISHED BY THE BONE CANCER, BUT HIS BRAIN IS FUNCTIONING LESS AND LESS.  HE CAN NO LONGER READ, WHICH WAS SOMETHING HE USE TO REALLY ENJOY, NOR CAN HE WATCH SPORTS ON T.V., AS THEY ARE JUST TOO CONFUSING FOR HIM, AND HE NO LONGER SEEMS TO ENJOY THEM.  TODAY HIS HOSPICE NURSE WILL COME OVER, AND THEY WILL CHANGE SOME OF HIS PAIN MEDS.. HE IS STILL IN TOO MUCH PAIN EVEN WITH THE PAIN PATCH, NAPROXEN, AND THE MORPHINE.  HE CAN NO LONGER GET OUT OF BED WITH OUT MY HELP.  I KNOW THIS IS HARD FOR SOME OF YOU TO READ, AND EVEN HARDER FOR ME TO WRITE IT.  MIKE WAS ONCE SO STRONG AND ACTIVE-IT IS REALLY SAD TO SEE HIM IN BED SO MUCH OF THE TIME NOW, AND IN PAIN.  HOSPICE BROUGHT OVER A SHOWER CHAIR YESTERDAY, SO THAT WILL MAKE IT EASIER FOR HIM TO GET A SHOWER NOW.  HE USE TO LOVE BATHS, BUT EVEN WITH THAT BATH TUB LIFT THAT I GOT FOR HIM-HE NO LONGER CAN USE IT.  HE IS RESTING RIGHT NOW AND LOOKS TO BE ASLEEP. MIKE CALLED OUT FOR ME VERY EARLY THIS AM-NOT SURE WHAT TIME IT WAS AS I WAS SLEEPING.  HE WAS PATTING THE BED LOOKING TO FEEL IF I WAS THERE.  AS SOON AS I ANSWERED HIM-HE WAS FINE, AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP.  OUR FRIENDS FROM N.C. CALLED YESTERDAY, I WAS ON THE HOME PHONE SPEAKING WITH HOSPICE WHEN THEY CALLED, SO THEY TRIED MY CELL, AND SPOKE WITH FONDA AND THEN MIKE FOR A FEW MINUTES.  I KNOW THEY COULD TELL BY THE CONVERSATION, THAT MIKE IS NO LONGER HIMSELF.  WE USE TO PLAY BACKGAMMON EVERY SINGLE DAY, BUT HE NO LONGER CAN UNDERSTAND HOW IT'S PLAYED.  ALZHEIMER'S IS ONE OF THE WORST PLAGUES I THINK MANKIND HAS EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH-THAT AND CANCER.  WELL, I NEED TO DO MY BIBLE STUDYING SO I CAN PULL MYSELF UP TO A BETTER MORE CHEERFUL MOOD BEFORE MIKE WAKES UP.  IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME THAT HE ALWAYS SEES ME IN A HAPPY UPBEAT MOOD.  WAIT-----MIKE JUST MADE A LOUD NOISE, SO I RAN TO THE BED ROOM AND ASKED HIM IF SOMETHING WAS THE MATTER.  HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE DOGS PUTTING A LADY IN A BOX AND SENDING HER OVER HERE.  IF WHAT MIKE SAYS WERE NOT SO SAD IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY.  ANY HOW, THAT IS IT FOR ME ON THIS WEDS. A.M..  I WILL BE COUNTING ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS BLESSINGS FROM ABOVE-I LOVE & APPRECIATE YOU ALL.  JUST ME

MIKE CONTINUES TO BE MORE AND MORE CONFUSED, & IN PAIN

I WILL NEED TO SEE IF WHEN NURSE PEGGY FROM HOSPICE COMES OVER TOMORROW IF THEY WILL CHANGE MIKE'S PAIN PATCH TO A STRONGER ONE.  HE HAS SO MUCH PAIN NOW EVEN GETTING IN AND OUT OF BED IS SUCH A HARD WORK OUT FOR HIM.  I WATCHED HIM FROM THE MONITOR YESTERDAY TRYING TO GET UP, AND EACH TIME HE WOULD FALL BACKWARDS ONTO THE BED AND HE WOULD MAKE NOISES OF PAIN, AND HAVE THE PAIN ALL OVER HIS FACE.  IT WAS HORRIBLE TO WATCH.  I WENT INTO THE ROOM TO HELP HIM UP, AND PUT ON HIS SLIPPERS.  WITH THE VIDEO CAM THAT MY SISTER VICKIE LENT ME, I CAN SEE MIKE FROM ANY ROOM IN THE HOUSE.. IT DOES HELP SO MUCH, AS I AM NOT RUNNING BACK TO THE BED ROOM EVERY FEW MINUTES TO SEE WHAT OR HOW HE IS DOING.  I HAD A DENTIST APT. YESTERDAY, AND MY DENTIST GAVE ME A THREE FER (HE FILLED THREE TEETH FOR THE PRICE OF ONE).  HE HAS KNOW OUR FAMILY FOR A LONG WHILE, AND UNDERSTANDS THAT IMPLANTS ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION.  HE WAS SO FUNNY, HE TOLD ME "I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT IS HOLDING SOME OF YOUR TEETH TOGETHER, AND WHY YOU ARE NOT IN A LOT OF PAIN".  HE OF COURSE SAID THAT WHEN THERE WAS A DRILL IN MY MOUTH, SO ALL I COULD THINK TO DO IS BRING UP BOTH MY HANDS TOGETHER LIKE I WAS PRAYING.  HE LAUGHED, AND SAID "IT MUST BE THE PRAYERS"!!  ANY HOW I AM STILL DEALING WITH THE HEADACHES AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE ISSUES.  I WILL HAVE TO CALL MY PCP DR. AGAIN TODAY, AS SHE DID NOT CALL ME BACK YESTERDAY WITH A SOLUTION.  MIKE HAS GOTTEN TO WHERE HE NOW PLAYS WITH HIS OSTOMY BAG, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS CONNECTED TO HIS NIGHT TIME FOLEY.  THAT IS TYPICAL OF ALMOST ALL ALZHEIMER PATIENTS, THEY ARE ALWAYS TOUCHING OR PICKING AT SOMETHING ESPECIALLY STUFF THAT IS ON THEIR BODY-LIKE SORES AND STUFF.  I LEARNED THAT LESSON WHEN I WAS THE CARE GIVER FOR A LOVELY MAN I AFFECTIONATELY REFER TO AS MR. D..  I GUESS THAT IS SOMEHOW PART OF THIS AWFUL DISEASE.  I DON'T THINK MIKE SAID 10 WORDS YESTERDAY THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND.  HE DOES SAY "I LOVE YOU" CLEARLY STILL.  MIKE DID NOT WANT ANYTHING TO EAT WHEN HE GOT UP YESTERDAY.  HE HAD HIS HOT CHOCOLATE, AND O.J. AND HIS PILLS.  THE SAME WAS TRUE AT DINNER TIME.  I GAVE HIM JUST A LITTLE FOOD HOPING HE WOULD EAT SOME, BUT HE ONLY TOOK A FEW BITS. I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED ME TO SLICE UP A GREEN APPLE FOR HIM, BUT HE SAID "NO, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE FOR A WHILE".  SO, I JUST SIT HERE TYPING, AND PRAYING THAT HE IS NOT IN ANY PAIN RIGHT NOW.  HE LOOKS TO BE SLEEPING PEACEFULLY.  BTW,  I GUESS I SHOULD EXPLAIN WHY I AM NO LONGER ON FACE BOOK..  I MAY JOIN AGAIN LATER ON, BUT FOR NOW, THERE WAS JUST TOO MUCH STUFF ON THERE THAT I DID NOT POST, AND THAT I DO NOT AGREE WITH, SO THE BEST THING I COULD DO FOR NOW IS JUST CLOSE MY ACCOUNT.  I AM SO SORRY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO USE IT CORRECTLY, BUT YOU CAN STILL E-MAIL ME ANY TIME, AND OF COURSE SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH US ON A DAILY BASIS BY VISITING MY BLOG.  WELL, THAT IS IT FOR ME THIS BEAUTIFUL TUES. MORNING.  I WISH I COULD MAKE EACH ONE OF YOU A CUP OF MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE', SO YOU COULD SEE WHY I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MINE NOW.  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" CAN I HAVE A GLASS WITH A GLOVE IN IT "?

MIKE ALSO ASKED ME "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY NICE"?  I OF COURSE HAD NO CLUE WHAT MIKE WAS ASKING FOR, SO THEN THE CHARADES BEGAN.  THAT'S USUALLY WHAT HAPPENS THESE DAYS WHEN MIKE IS AWAKE-HE IS INCOHERENT.  SADLY, THE SAME THING HAPPENS WHEN HE IS SLEEP TALKING.  OTHER THAN THE PAIN IN HIS LEGS, HE STILL SEEM  TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD MOST OF THE TIME, AND ONLY COMPLAINS ABOUT WALKING-HOW MUCH HE WISHES HE COULD STILL WALK.  I KNOW HOW HARD ALL THIS MUST BE ON MIKE, AND IT HAS ALSO TAKEN IT'S TOLL ON ME-EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT THINK SO AT FIRST.  MY BLOOD PRESSURE CONTINUES TO BE HIGH, SO I WILL CONTACT MY DR. TODAY, AS MY P.A. SON IN LAW ART SAID THERE IS A PILL THAT I CAN TAKE INTERMITTENTLY  THAT WILL BRING IT DOWN QUICKLY WHEN IT IS HIGH.  I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO TAKE THIS "JOURNEY" WITH OUT ALL THE HELP AND SUPPORT ALL THREE OF OUR KIDS HAVE BEEN GIVING ME.  ALSO TRESSA WHO WORKS HARD ALL WEEK, AND STILL IS WILLING TO COME OVER WITH FELINA AND HELP DO MY DUSTING AND MY FLOORS FOR ME.  THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL  OF YOU INCLUDING MY DEAR SON MIKE JR. AND LAURA IN CA. WHO MAKE SURE OUR LAWN IS TAKEN CARE OF!!!  I DID GET MORE SLEEP LAST NIGHT, AND SAT. NIGHT, BUT FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON I CONTINUE TO HAVE A BIT OF A HEADACHE.  ANY HOW, MIKE IS STILL SLEEPING, AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE MY SISTER VICKIE BROUGHT OVER THE T.V. MONITOR THAT SHE HAD USED WITH HER HUSBAND GEORGE, SO THAT I CAN WATCH MIKE FROM ANY OTHER ROOM IN THE HOUSE.  THAT IS A HUGE HELP!!  I CAN EVEN SEE HIM WHILE I AM TYPING THIS!!  MIKE CONTINUES TO MISS GOING TO THE MEETINGS WITH ME-HE CALLS THE KINGDOM HALL "OUR PLACE".  IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THIS MONTH WOULD MAKE ONE YEAR THAT MIKE WAS ATTENDING THE MEETINGS FAITHFULLY WITH ME.  NOW BECAUSE OF THE MEDS. AND THE SEVERITY OF HIS PAIN-IT JUST IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE.  TOMORROW HIS HOSPICE NURSE WILL COME, AND I WILL ASK HER FOR A STRONGER PAIN PATCH, AS I JUST DON'T THINK IT IS TAKING CARE OF HIS PAIN BASED ON THE MOANING AND GROANING WHEN HE EITHER  TRIES TO GET INTO BED OR OUT OF IT.  HE EVEN TOLD ME YESTERDAY THAT HIS LEGS HURT HIM EVEN WHEN HE IS SLEEPING  WHICH I HAD NO IDEA OF.  I WAS ABLE TO MAKE MY MEETING YESTERDAY (THANKS TO FONDA), AND IT WAS A GREAT TALK, AND W.T. STUDY.  IT WAS LIKE BEING IN ANOTHER WORLD-EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY FOR 2 HOURS!!  ALL THE FRIENDS ARE SO SUPPORTIVE AND LOVING-I THANK GOD FOR THEM EACH NIGHT!!  WELL, WHO KNOWS WHAT TODAY WILL BRING, AND WHEN MIKE WILL GET OUT OF BED.  I DO HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT TODAY-I MAY NEED A ROOT CANAL-YUCK!!  SURE HOPE ALL IS WELL IN YOUR WORLD TODAY-SO FAR MINE IS A O.K.-JUST

" WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO BE DOING NOW"?

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AROUND 1AM TO THE SOUND OF MIKE CALLING ME.  HE HAD GOTTEN UP OUT OF BED AND WALKED INTO THE BATH ROOM CARRYING HIS NIGHT TIME FOLEY BAG, AND LOOKING PUZZLED.  I TRIED TALKING WITH HIM FOR A WHILE AS HE ALSO SEEMED A LITTLE AGITATED.  I GOT HIM BACK TO BED, AND GAVE HIM MORE PAIN MEDS. AS HE WAS VISIBLY IN A LOT OF LEG PAIN.  HE TALKED FOR A WHILE WHICH I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, AND THEN FELL BACK TO SLEEP.  I ALSO WENT BACK TO SLEEP, BUT WOKE UP WITH A SPLITTING HEAD HEAD.  I FELT LIKE MY BRAIN WAS GOING TO EXPLODE.  I THEN REMEMBERED I FORGOT TO TAKE ALL MY PILLS LAST NIGHT, SO I TOOK HALF OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE PILL IN CASE THAT WAS THE PROBLEM, AND ALSO ONE ASPIRIN.  MIKE GOT UP AROUND 10AM, AND I GAVE HIM HIS HOT CHOCOLATE, O.J., CEREAL WITH A BANANA IN IT, AND ALL HIS MEDS..  I JUST TOOK MY MORNING MEDS., BUT STILL HAVE NOT FED MY POOR DOGIES, AND IT IS ALREADY 10:30AM.  AS MY FUNNY FATHER USE TO SAY "THEIR STOMACH'S GOING TO THINK THEIR THROAT HAS BEEN CUT" IF I DON'T FEED THEM PRETTY SOON!! WELL, I AM STILL NOT UP TO SNUFF FOR SOME REASON THIS AM.  I HOPE I GET TO FEELING BETTER AS THE DAY GOES ON, AS THERE IS ALWAYS SO MANY THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF.  I COULD SURE USE A NAP TODAY-HOPE I CAN GET ONE LATER.  GREAT!! HERE'S THE GUY TO DO THE HOUSE APPRAISAL, AND I AM NOT DRESSED!!  I FORGOT HE WAS COMING BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A STRANGE MORNING FOR ME.  THE HOSPICE DR. WAS HERE YESTERDAY, AND WAS VERY SWEET, BUT HIS MESSAGE WAS NOT.  HE TRIED TO SAY THINGS AS NICELY AS POSSIBLE, BUT THE END RESULT WAS THAT MIKE IS NOT DOING WELL.  HE WILL CONTINUE TO NEED MORE AND MORE PAIN MED. TO KEEP HIS PAIN DOWN, AND THAT WILL CAUSE HIM TO SLEEP MORE AND MORE AND EAT LESS AND LESS UNTIL HE PASSES.  THE DR. CALLED IT "A JOURNEY", I CALL IT A DEATH MARCH.  I KNOW IN MY MIND THAT THIS IS ALL TRUE, BUT SEEING HIM EVERYDAY TRYING SO HARD TO WALK JUST BREAKS MY HEART. YESTERDAY MIKE NEVER GOT OUT OF BED UNTIL 6PM, HE ATE DINNER, AND THEN SHORTLY THEIR AFTER WENT RIGHT BACK TO BED AND TO SLEEP.  I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE NEW SYSTEM GETS HERE, AND HE IS RESURRECTED BACK TO LIFE AND PREFECT-NO MORE PAINFUL LEGS.  HE WILL ALSO BE SO DELIGHTED TO SEE HIS FATHER AGAIN AS I KNOW HE REALLY LOVED HIM.  THEN I WILL GET TO MEET HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME AS WELL!!  I GUESS THE ONLY THING TO DO IS TO APPRECIATE THE DAYS WE HAVE, AND LOOK FORWARD TO UNENDING DAYS IN PERFECT HEALTH.  TREASURE YOUR HEALTH THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT!!  JUST ME

" I'LL BE THERE IN TWENTY FIVE MINUTES "

I WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM WHEN I HEARD MIKE SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT THREE TIMES IN A ROW.  I THOUGHT HE WAS ASLEEP, SO I WENT INTO THE ROOM TO CHECK ON HIM.  SURE ENOUGH HE WAS ASLEEP-TALKING TO THE GPS RESPONDER THAT HE WEARS AROUND HIS NECK.  HE MUST HAVE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED THE BUTTON.  THE WOMAN ON THE OTHER END MUST HAVE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MIKE, AS I HEARD HER SAYING "LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR WIFE".  I TOOK THE RESPONDER AND EXPLAINED TO THE LADY WHAT HAD HAPPENED.  SHE WAS VERY NICE ABOUT IT-MIKE HAS DONE THAT A COUPLE OTHER TIMES BEFORE.  I AM SO GLAD THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING OUT THERE-I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER WANT TO BE WITH OUT IT. ANY HOW, MIKE SLEPT UNTIL ABOUT 3:30PM YESTERDAY, AND HE DID EAT SOME BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I WOULD HAVE LIKED.  WHEN I AM NOT IN THE ROOM, HE TRIES TO GIVE SOME OF HIS FOOD TO THE DOGIES.  I CAUGHT HIM YESTERDAY, AND HE GOT UPSET WITH ME BECAUSE I WOULD NOT LET HIM GIVE HIS PLATE OF FOOD TO THEM.  WE STAYED UP UNTIL 10PM.  I WAS IN BED EARLIER, BUT MIKE WAS WATCHING THE MAGIC GAME IN THE LIVING ROOM.  AFTER A WHILE OF NOT HEARING THE T.V. ANY LONGER, I WENT INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND MIKE WAS JUST SITTING IN HIS CHAIR ALL BY HIMSELF.  I ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO GO TO BED, AND HE SAID "IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO".  SO OFF TO BED WE WENT.  HIS LEGS ARE SO THIN AND FRAIL I CRINGE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM TRY TO WALK, I AM SO AFRAID HE WILL FALL AND BREAK SOMETHING.  MIKE SAID HE HAD A GOOD DAY BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP, AND ASKED ME IF I DID.  EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY TO MIKE-HE JUST ENJOYS LIFE, AND ESPECIALLY THE OUT DOORS, AND HIS DOGIES.  I HAVE BEEN AWAKE SINCE 3:03AM.  I TRIED AND TRIED TO STAY IN BED, BUT IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO JUST LAY THERE WIDE AWAKE.  I HATE NIGHTS LIKE THAT, BUT LATELY I HAVE BEEN HAVING MORE AND MORE OF THEM.  THE HOSPICE DR. WILL BE HERE THIS AFTERNOON TO CHECK ON MIKE AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO TO MAKE HIM MORE COMFORTABLE.  ALL OF THE HOSPICE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SUPER NICE AND HELPFUL.  I JUST HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING THEM THAT MIKE DOES NOT KNOW THAT HE HAS BONE CANCER, OR THAT HE IS ON HOSPICE.  I THINK IF HE HEARD THE WORD "HOSPICE" HE WOULD KNOW HE IS MUCH SICKER THEN I HAVE TOLD HIM.  I PRAY THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.  THAT'S ABOUT IT FROM ME FOR TODAY-HAPPY THURSDAY-JUST ME

" DID THAT MAN EVER COME IN HERE "?

NOT KNOWING WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT, I ASKED HIM "WHAT MAN"? THEN MIKE SAID "THE MAN WHO CAME OVER HERE"!  MIKE ASKED ME YESTERDAY IF I EVER MET HIS BROTHER.  I'M THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS BROTHER JACK AFTER THEY HAD NOT BEEN IN TOUCH FOR MANY YEARS. HE OFTEN WILL ASK "HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THE HOUSE"?  ALSO, "IS ANY ONE COMING FOR ME TODAY"? IF I CAN UNDERSTAND HIM-I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIM SO MUCH OF THE TIME!!  HE WILL START TO SAY SOMETHING, MAKE SOME MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS, AND THEN JUST GO QUIET.  HE SAT OUTSIDE FOR QUITE A WHILE YESTERDAY, AND THEN WHEN OUR DAUGHTER FONDA STOPPED BY, SHE SAT ON THE BACK PORCH WITH HIM.  I THINK HE JUST ENJOYS BEING OUTSIDE-EVEN IF HE CAN NO LONGER PULL HIS WEEDS OR RAKE HIS LEAVES.  HE WAS IN MUCH PAIN LAST NIGHT, AS I HEARD HIS MOAN SO LOUD IT WOKE ME UP.  MY HEART BREAKS EACH TIME I SEE HIM WINCE IN PAIN-THIS IS A PAINFUL JOURNEY FOR ANYONE WHO IS ON IT NOW, OR HAS ALREADY BEEN ON IT. I ALMOST WISH MIKE WOULD HAVE GONE LIKE HIS FATHER AND BROTHER BEFORE HIM, WITH A HEART ATTACH.  IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A SHOCK OF COURSE, BUT HE WOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER DAY IN AND DAY OUT FOR WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH LONGER.  I HAVE INCREASED HIS MORPHINE, BUT WHEN HIS HOSPICE NURSE COMES TODAY, I WILL ASK HER WHAT ELSE WE CAN DO FOR HIS PAIN..  I DID SLEEP A LITTLE BETTER LAST NIGHT-GOT UP AROUND 4:30AM, THEN WENT BACK TO BED AFTER A BIT, AND  HAVE BEEN UP AGAIN FOR A WHILE.  MIKE IS STILL RESTING, AND PART OF ME HOPE HE STAYS IN BED ASLEEP-IT IS SUCH AN EFFORT FOR HIM TO WALK EVEN TO THE BATH ROOM AND FOR SOME REASON NOW HE ONLY WANTS TO USE THE CANE-NOT THE WALKER.  I CONTINUE TO BE SO PROUD OF HIM FOR HIS EFFORT TO DO WHAT HE CAN, AND NOT COMPLAIN.  I HAVE TO ASK HIM IF HE IS IN PAIN WHEN HE IS AWAKE, AND ONLY THEN HE WILL NOD HIS HEAD OR SAY YES.  I HOPE YOU WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS, AS THAT IS WHAT IS CARRYING ME THROUGH THIS TUNNEL OF SADNESS.  PLEASE SHOW LOVE TO ONE ANOTHER-IT IS GOD'S WAY, JUST ME

SLEEPLESS IN ORLANDO !!

LAST NIGHT WAS ANOTHER NOT SO HOT NIGHT FOR ME SLEEP WISE.  MIKE GOT UP AROUND 4PM YESTERDAY, AND ATE TWO MEALS BEFORE GOING TO BED AT 11PM.  HE ALSO HAD TWO CUPS OF HOT CHOCOLATE, AS I WAS ALL OUT OF ICE CREAM-HIS FAVORITE NIGHT TIME SNACK.  NOW I AM DYING FOR A CUP OF MY CAFE' CON LECHE', BUT I USED THE LAST OF THE MILK FOR HIS SECOND CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE!!  BTW, BOOST NOW COMES IN A POWDER FORM, AND IT IS MUCH MORE ECONOMICAL TO BUY IT THAT WAY!!  ANY HOW, HE ONLY SAID ONE OR TWO THINGS THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND OR AT LEAST FIGURE OUT WHILE HE WAS AWAKE.  THE SAME WAS TRUE WHEN WE WENT TO BED.  HE JUST TALKED AND TALKED AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE HE WOULD SAY "HUH ?" TO WHICH I WOULD ANSWER  "UH HUH".  I WOULD TAKE UP MY SISTER'S IDEA TO USE A MONITOR ON HIM AND SLEEP IN ANOTHER ROOM, BUT HE OFTEN WILL ROLL OVER DURING THE NIGHT-FEEL MY BACK AND THEN ROLL BACK OVER AS IF TO MAKE SURE HE IS NOT ALONE, OR TO MAKE SURE I AM THERE.  I WANT THINGS TO BE AS NORMAL AND AS COMFORTABLE FOR HIM AS POSSIBLE.  HE IS RESTING RIGHT NOW, AND I WISH I WERE TOO. I FORGOT TO TAKE ALL THE TRASH AND RECYCLABLES OUTSIDE LAST NIGHT, SO I HAD TO GET ALL THAT OUT THERE THIS AM BEFORE THE TRASH PEOPLE COME.  IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY HERE IN ORLANDO-BUT WE REALLY NEED SOME RAIN.  I KEEP FORGETTING TO WATER MY PLANTS AND NOW SOME ARE DROOPING OR DYING.  I FEEL LIKE THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME TO DO EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS DOING.  I DO STAY BUSY, BUT STUFF KEEPS PILING UP.  AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH THIS PROBLEM??  WELL, I NEED TO GET DRESSED, AND MAYBE EAT A LITTLE SOMETHING.  SO PLEASE COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS TODAY-NO MATTER HOW SMALL-ENJOY THIS DAY WE'VE BEEN GIVEN!!  JUST ME

MIKE'S SLEEPATHON !!!

MIKE SLEPT NON STOP FROM FRIDAY NIGHT ALL THE WAY TO 5PM ON SUNDAY!!  I TRIED TO GET HIM UP SEVERAL TIMES, BUT HE WOULD SAY "I'M O.K. HERE", AND NOT MAKE ANY EFFORT TO GET UP.  HE ONLY ATE A QUARTER OF A SANDWICH AND ABOUT HALF A SHAKE THAT FONDA BROUGHT HIM ON SAT. WHILE HE WAS STILL LYING IN BED!! SHE HAD TO LIFT HIS HEAD SO HE WOULD NOT CHOKE.  THEN HE PROCEEDED TO GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP.  HE MAY EVEN HAVE BEEN SLEEP EATING FOR ALL I KNOW-HE SURE DOES A LOT OF SLEEP TALKING.  IT IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO TELL WHEN HE IS AWAKE AND WHEN HE IS ASLEEP, AS HE OFTEN MAKES NO SENSE WHEN HE SPEAKS THESE DAYS.  ANY HOW, I WAS SO CONCERNED ABOUT HIS NOT EATING AND SLEEPING SO MUCH THAT I CALLED HOSPICE, AND THEY SENT A NURSE OUT RIGHT AWAY.  SHE ASKED HIM HOW OLD HE WAS, AND HE POINTED TO ME AND SAID "TELL HER HOW LONG I AM".  I THEN REMINDED HER THAT HE HAS ALZHEIMER'S, AND HAS NOT BEEN MAKING A LOT OF SENSE LATELY.  SHE TOLD ME TO KEEP GIVING HIM HIS PAIN MEDS. WHEN HE LOOKS OR SAYS HE IS IN PAIN, AS THE GOAL IS TO KEEP HIM PAIN FREE. SHE ALSO SAID HE IS MOST LIKELY IN HIS FINAL WEEKS-NOT GOOD NEWS.  MIKE HAS ADMITTED THAT HE IS IN A LOT OF PAIN A COUPLE TIMES, SO I GAVE HIM ADDITIONAL MORPHINE, AS I WAS INSTRUCTED TO DO.  HE STAYED UP UNTIL ALMOST 1:00AM LAST NIGHT, AND THEN CONTINUED TO KEEP ME AWAKE UNTIL 4AM WITH THE LIGHTS BEING ON, AND I HAD TO GO TURN OFF THE T.V. IN THE LIVING ROOM AND THE OTHER LIGHTS HE LEFT ON IN THERE.  HE WAS A LITTLE ARGUMENTATIVE AGAIN LAST NIGHT WHEN I WOULD TRY AND DO SOMETHING HE WAS OBVIOUSLY HAVING TROUBLE DOING (LIKE CONNECTING HIS OVER NIGHT FOLEY BAG) NOT SURE WHY-OTHER THAN HIS PAIN IS GETTING WORSE.  WE HAD A LOVELY BIBLE STUDY LAST NIGHT WITH SEVERAL FAMILY MEMBERS.  THEY EVEN PROVIDED THE FOOD!!  WE TOOK TURNS READING 4 CHAPTERS  (112-115), IN THE "GREATEST MAN" BOOK AND MIKE FOLLOWED ALONG WITH MY FINGER POINTING OUT EACH WORD.  HE EVEN MADE A FEW COMMENTS, BUT SADLY THEY WERE NOT UNDERSTANDABLE.  AFTER ALL THESE MANY YEARS IN THE TRUTH, THAT REMAINS MY FAVORITE BOOK (OTHER THAN THE BIBLE OF COURSE).  WELL, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE WHAT TODAY WILL BRING.  WILL MIKE SLEEP FOR 2 AND 1/2 DAYS AGAIN, OR WILL HE BE UP SOON?  I HAD PRECIOUS LITTLE SLEEP LAST NIGHT, SO I AM GOING TO TRY AND TAKE A LITTLE NAP IF THE DOGIES WILL LET ME AND IF MIKE DOESN'T WAKE UP RIGHT AWAY.  I'VE DECIDED THAT CARING FOR SOMEONE WITH ALZHEIMER'S IS MUCH LIKE TAKING CARE OF A TWO YEAR OLD-ONLY HARDER!!  YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WILL GET INTO NEXT, AND YOU KNOW THEY DIDN'T MEAN TO DO SOMETHING WRONG, SO YOU CAN'T EVEN PUNISH THEM!!  THANKS FOR ALL THE PHONE CALLS, PRAYERS, AND SUPPORT-I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU ALL!!!  JUST ME

" SO MANY SAYINGS-SO MANY TO FORGET!!

ONCE AGAIN, I SURE WISH I HAD A VOICE ACTIVATED TAPE PLAYER IN OUR BEDROOM, AS MIKE JUST TALKED AND TALKED LAST NIGHT.  ONLY A FEW THINGS COULD I MAKE OUT.  ALSO HE WAS OBSESSED WITH THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET, HE SEEMED TO THINK THAT WE LIVED THERE FIRST, AND THEN MOVED HERE.  HE WANTED TO KNOW WHY WE MOVED HERE, AND IF WE HAD THE SAME FURNITURE IN THAT HOUSE AS WE DO NOW. AND ABOUT 10,000 OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET. I MUST HAVE TOLD HIM (I LOST COUNT OF THE TIMES) THAT WE NEVER EVER LIVED THERE.  MIKE EXPRESSED THAT HE WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN YESTERDAY, SO I KEPT RUBBING HIS LEGS WITH THAT SPECIAL CREAM I GOT FROM HOSPICE.  NOTHING SEEMED TO HELP.  HE WAS UP DOING STRANGE THINGS AROUND 5AM, AND WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING-HE SNAPPED BACK "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU"?  HE NEVER EVEN TOLD ME ONCE.  HE WAS A BIT SNIPPY YESTERDAY ALSO, I TRULY THINK IT WAS DUE TO HIS PAIN LEVEL, AS HE IS NORMALLY VERY SWEET TO ME.  I PUT HIS PANTS BACK ON HIM AND GOT HIM TO GET BACK IN BED AROUND 6:30AM. NOT SURE HOW THE REST OF THE DAY WILL GO-JUST KNOW THAT I AM PRETTY WORRIED ABOUT HIM.  YES, I DO KNOW THIS IS SAT. AND I NEVER USUALLY POST ON SAT., BUT I FELT THIS WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO HAVE A RECORD OF.  THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME VENT-THIS TIME I MEAN IT-I WILL NOT POST AGAIN UNTIL MONDAY. JUST ME

" DON'T FORGET YOUR LUNCH "

LAST THING MIKE SAID TO ME-HE WAS ASLEEP AT THE TIME I THINK.  ANY HOW TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY, AND I ONLY HOPE IT IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY.  MIKE SLEPT MOST OF THE DAY AGAIN-TILL 4PM.  HE DID EAT, BUT NOT A LOT, SO I AM REALLY GLAD THAT HE SEEMS TO LOVE THE HOT CHOCOLATE I MAKE FOR HIM OUT OF ENSURE.  AT LEAST THAT WAY I KNOW HE IS GETTING SOME VITAMINS AND MUCH NEEDED CALORIES.    I HAD A GREAT NIGHTS SLEEP FOR A CHANGE LAST NIGHT.  I TOOK A COUPLE PILLS, ONE FOR MY NERVES, AND ONE FOR MY PAIN, AND I SLEPT TILL NEARLY 8AM!!  MIKE GRABBED ME VERY HARD EARLY THIS AM, HE MUST HAVE BEEN IN A FIGHT IN HIS DREAM. I PULLED AWAY, AND I GUESS WE BOTH WENT BACK TO SLEEP-AT LEAST I KNOW I DID.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED, BUT I THINK NOT FOR LONG.  THE DOGIES WENT INTO THE ROOM AND WERE TRYING TO JUMP ON THE BED.  I HEARD MIKE SAY "NO", SO I WENT INTO THE ROOM AND GOT THE DOGS OUT, BUT HIS EYES WERE OPEN.  NOW I AM HEARING HIS FOOTSTEPS, SO HE MUST HAVE BEEN WOKEN UP BY THE DOGIES.  THAT'S NOT ALL BAD, AS MAYBE I CAN GET THREE MEALS IN HIM TODAY.   WE WILL BE GOING TO MY SISTER VICKIE'S HOUSE FOR DINNER TONIGHT, IF MIKE IS UP TO IT.  SHE JUST BOUGHT THE WHOLE JOHNNY CARSON SERIES (THE BEST OF JOHNNY), AND WE SAW ONE TAPE LAST WEEK, AND IT WAS HILARIOUS!!  WE ALWAYS TRY AND WATCH THINGS THAT ARE EASY TO FOLLOW, AND THAT ARE FUNNY, SO THAT MIKE CAN LAUGH WITH US.   HE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST ALL INTEREST IN BASKETBALL NOW.  HE SAYS THEY HAVE TOO MANY PLAYERS, AND THEY MOVE TOO FAST-IT IS CONFUSING.  HE SEEMS TO LIKE THE ELLEN SHOW, AND WHEEL OF FORTUNE, BUT OTHER THAN THAT-I TAPE ALL THE OLD "I LOVE LUCY" RE RUNS FOR HIM.  WELL, IT'S AFTER 9AM, AND I AM GETTING BOTH HUNGRY AND THIRSTY, SO I WILL SAY SO LONG FOR NOW.  CELEBRATE LIFE-ENJOY YOUR WEEK END-JUST ME

" I THINK IT'S OVER "

THAT'S WHAT MIKE SAID AFTER SPEAKING WITH HIS OLDEST FRIEND TERRY S..  I SAID "ARE YOU SURE"? MIKE SAID "I THINK SO, IT'S GOING BEEP BEEP BEEP".  I THINK I HEARD HIM ASK TERRY IF HE WANTED  HALF OF A KIA.  SORRY ABOUT THAT TERRY, MIKE GETS A LITTLE CONFUSED AT NIGHT TIME.  ANY HOW, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO ALSO FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK, I DID NOT LOSE 30 POUNDS IN 3 WEEKS-SOMEONE HACKED MY ACCOUNT AND POSTED THAT THERE.  I HAVE SINCE CHANGED MY PASSWORD, SO HOPEFULLY THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED SLEEPING, AND YESTERDAY, HE SLEPT TILL AROUND 3PM WHEN I WOKE HIM UP SO HIS HOSPICE NURSE COULD TAKE HIS VITALS, AND SO I COULD GET SOME FOOD IN HIM.  I SURE HOPE HE DOES NOT STAY IN BED ALL DAY LONG AGAIN TODAY-I HATE GOING INTO THE BED ROOM AND SEEING HIM LAYING THERE IN THE SAME POSITION HOUR AFTER HOUR.  AT LEAST I KNOW HE IS NOT IN ANY PAIN WHEN HE IS SLEEPING, AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL.  HE DID EAT PRETTY WELL AFTER HE GOT UP YESTERDAY, AND HE NOW WEIGHS 145.7.  THAT MEANS HE HAS GAINED ABOUT 4 POUNDS SINCE HE HAS BEEN ON THE APPETITE MEDICINE..  HE STILL LOVES JUNK FOOD, AS YESTERDAY HE HANDED ME AN EMPTY BOX OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.  I JUST PUT THEM BY HIS CHAIR LAST WEEK, AND HE (AS FAR AS I KNOW) IS THE ONLY ONE EATING THEM.  ALTHOUGH HE DID ASK ME YESTERDAY (AFTER I BROUGHT HIM A NEW BOX OF COOKIES) IF HE COULD GIVE ONE TO THE DOGS.   NOW I SUSPECT THAT MIGHT BE WHERE SOME OF THE OTHER BOX OF COOKIES WENT.  NO WONDER MY DOGS KEEP ON GAINING WEIGHT-EVEN AFTER I PUT THEM ON A DIET!! WELL, I HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT THIS AM, AND A HOSPICE VOLUNTEER WILL BE COMING OVER TO WATCH MIKE FOR ME.  IT IS SO HARD TO PLAN THINGS ANY MORE-I ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE SURE SOMEONE CAN WATCH MIKE ON THAT DAY AND TIME.. I SURE AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL MY HELPERS!!!  PLEASE KEEP OUR FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS-WE KNOW SO MANY OTHER FAMILIES ARE ALSO GOING THROUGH A SIMILAR PROBLEM OR AT ANY RATE, A PROBLEM OF SOME SORT. LIKE THE GOOD BOOK SAYS "THESE ARE CRITICAL TIMES-HARD TO DEAL WITH"!  HOPE YOUR DAY IS PEACEFUL-JUST ME

" PENNIES, NICKLES, DIMES, QUARTERS."

I MAY NEED TO GET A VOICE ACTIVATED TAPE RECORDER FOR MY BED ROOM.  MIKE TALKS IN HIS SLEEP ALMOST ALL NIGHT LONG.  I ONLY WISH I COULD REMEMBER SOME OF THE FUNNY THINGS HE SAYS-THEY ARE FROM ONE EXTREME TO THE OTHER.  HE SAID "THEY ARE WAITING FOR YOU", AND THE ABOVE,  AND SO MUCH OTHER STUFF.  SINCE I AM MOSTLY SLEEPING, AND DEAF IN ONE EAR,  I MISS SO MUCH OF WHAT HE IS SAYING.  HE GOT UP SUPER EARLY YESTERDAY AROUND 5AM!!  MADE NO SENSE AT ALL WHEN HE SPOKE.  I MADE HIM SOME BREAKFAST, AND SOME HOT CHOCOLATE, AND THEN HE WENT BACK TO BED.  HE THEN SLEPT UNTIL AROUND 5PM WHEN OUR DAUGHTER FONDA CAME OVER.  HE ATE ALL HIS DINNER, AND WAS BACK IN BED BY ABOUT 9PM.  HE IS NOW USING HIS WALKER ALL THE TIME, AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT HIM WALKING ANY WHERE.  HE IS VERY SWEET, AND HAS STARTED CALLING ME HIS ANGEL.  I BEG HIM NOT TO DO THAT AS I FEEL I AM IN NO WAY WORTHY OF THAT TITLE, BUT IT IS SO NICE THAT HE IS STILL ABLE TO SPEAK, AND HE IS ALWAYS SO KIND WHEN HE DOES.  WELL, DOES ANY ONE WANT (OR KNOW ANY BODY WHO WANTS) A CHIHUAHUA??  THAT LITTLE DOG (1 YR. OLD WITH PAPERS) THAT I GOT FOR MY NEIGHBOR IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR HER.  I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A NEW HOME FOR THE LITTLE GUY.  HE IS SCARED OF HIS OWN SHADOW, AND I DON'T KNOW IF HE WILL EVER WARM UP TO ANY ONE.  HE LIVED IN A HOME WITH TWO PITT BULLS, AND NOW WILL NOT COME OUT OF HIS LITTLE CAGE EXCEPT TO EAT!!!  VERY SAD.   OH WELL, ALL WE CAN DO IS TRY.  MIKE IS STILL SLEEPING, AND I WISH I WERE.  ONCE I WAKE UP-THAT IS KIND OF IT FOR ME.  MY MIND STARTS THINKING OF ALL THE THINGS THAT NEEDS DOING, AND I HAVE TO GET UP.  WE GOT OUR NEW FAMILY PICTURE HUNG UP YESTERDAY, AND MIKE STARTED TO TEAR UP WHEN HE SAW IT.  HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME THESE DAYS JUST LOOKING AT PICTURES.  HE WILL OFTEN ASK ME WHO THIS ONE IS OR WHO THAT ONE IS.  HE TRIES SO HARD TO REMEMBER THINGS ON HIS OWN.  THE OLDER I GET THE MORE I CAN RELATE!!!  I SEEM TO LET A LOT OF THINGS FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS (IN MY HEAD) LATELY.  MAYBE IT'S THE WATER WE DRINK-SO MANY OTHERS SAY THEY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.  WELL, I NEED TO FEED THESE DOGIES, AND GET SOME FOOD MYSELF, SO TILL TOMORROW-LIKE ELLEN ALWAYS SAYS "BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER" JUST ME

" WHO OWNS THIS BUILDING "?

THAT WAS JUST ONE OF THE MANY STRANGE QUESTIONS MIKE ASKED ME LAST NIGHT.  IT IS JUST NOW 5AM, AND I WAS SLEEPING PRETTY GOOD TILL MIKE WOKE ME UP BY TRYING TO GET OUT OF BED.  HE HAD SUCH DIFFICULTY THAT AFTER TRYING TO SIT UP FOR SEVERAL MINUTES, HE DECIDED TO LAY BACK DOWN.  I OF COURSE GOT UP NO LONGER ABLE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.  I DECIDED TO TRY A PHONE NUMBER THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN SERVICE 24/7, SINCE I WAS ON HOLD YESTERDAY FOR OVER ONE AND ONE HALF HOURS AND NO ONE EVER ANSWERED.  I FIGURED THEY WOULD ANSWER RIGHT AWAY AT 4 SOMETHING IN THE AM-I MEAN WHO ELSE BESIDES ME WOULD THINK TO CALL THEM THEN-RIGHT?  WRONG!!  I HAVE ALREADY BEEN ON HOLD FOR ALMOST HALF AN HOUR.   I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THERE IS ANY ONE THERE, BUT I WILL KEEP HOLDING-JUST IN CASE.  MIKE HAD A SO SO DAY YESTERDAY.  I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH OF HIS CONFUSION IS FROM ALZHEIMER'S AT THIS POINT.  I DO KNOW THE WEAKNESS AND UNSTEADINESS OF HIS LEGS MUST BE COMING FROM THE BONE CANCER.  HE STILL TRIES SO HARD TO DO THINGS, BUT HIS POOR BODY WILL NOT LET HIM.  HE WENT BACK TO BED YESTERDAY AROUND 4PM, BUT WAS UP AGAIN AROUND 8PM.  HE DID NOT WANT ANYTHING MUCH TO EAT-A CINNAMON BUN AND SOME SLICED APPLES WAS ALL HE SAID HE COULD EAT, SO I ASKED IF HE THOUGHT HE COULD DRINK SOME HOT CHOCOLATE, AND HE SAID "YES".  AT LEAST THAT WAS SOME NOURISHMENT, PLUS HE DID EAT BREAKFAST AND A LITTLE LUNCH.  HE WAS BACK IN BED BEFORE 10PM, AND IS NOW FAST ASLEEP.  YES, I AM STILL ON HOLD FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MIGHT BE WONDERING. I JUST FIGURED IT OUT.  THEY SAY THEIR LINES ARE OPEN 24/7, BUT THEY DO NOT SAY THEY WILL BE MANNED!!!   I'M SO HAPPY TO KNOW THAT MY CALL IS IMPORTANT TO THEM-IMAGINE HOW LONG I WOULD BE ON HOLD IF IT WASN'T!!   I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER IF I TOO MIGHT HAVE A TOUCH OF ALZHEIMER'S-I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE LATELY.  AS MY FRIEND MARIE M. USE TO SAY-SHE SUFFERED FROM "CRS" (CAN'T REMEMBER SQUAT)!!  WELL, I AM GOING TO FED THE DOGIES NOW, AND HAVE SOME OF MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE', SO TILL TOMORROW.  MIKE JUST GOT UP (6AM) IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY!!  I HOPE NO ONE PUTS YOU ON HOLD!!  JUST ME

" 2 0 5, 2 0 5, 2 0 5, 2 0 5." MIKE WAS SAYING THAT OVER AND OVER

I FINALLY ASKED MIKE "WHAT IS 2 0 5 ", TO WHICH HE SAID "WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS"?  I SAID "I DON'T KNOW, IS IT A TIME"?  "NO" WAS ALL HE REPLIED.  THEN HE STARTED WITH "1 0 5, 1 0 5, 1 0 5".  I JUST IGNORED HIM AT THIS POINT.  NEXT HE ASKED ME "HAVE YOU BEEN THERE MANY TIMES"?  NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT, I JUST SAID "NO" AND TRIED TO GO BACK TO SLEEP-THIS WAS AROUND 4AM..   I COULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP, SO I JUST GOT UP AROUND 5AM, AND LET THE DOGS OUT, AND ANSWERED AN E OR TWO, FINISHED LOADING  THE DISH WASHER, AND MADE MYSELF A NICE CUP OF CAFE' CON LECHE'.  I WAS ABLE TO GO TO MY MEETING YESTERDAY, AND I WAS SHOWN SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT.  IT IS TRULY AN OASIS IN THIS COMPLICATED WORLD WITH SO MUCH STRESS AND STRIFE!!  VERY UPBUILDING!!  MIKE WOULD HAVE GONE, BUT HE WAS OUT OF SORTS AND WAS AGAIN SAYING THINGS THAT DID NOT MAKE MUCH SENSE.  HE HAS SO MUCH TROUBLE WALKING NOW TOO, THAT IS TRULY THE ONLY THING HE EVER COMPLAINS ABOUT.  REALLY UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCE, THAT IS REMARKABLE, AS I HAVE HEARD THAT BONE CANCER IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.  MY SISTER VICKIE AND I WILL EXCHANGE SOME FOOD TODAY.  WE DO THAT PRETTY OFTEN.  I MADE SOME YUCCA YESTERDAY WHICH SHE AND I BOTH LOVE, AND SHE MADE SOME HOME MADE CHICKEN SOUP.  IT IS RARE THAT I COOK A FULL MEAL ANY MORE.  I JUST FED MIKE WHAT EVER HE THINKS HE WOULD LIKE TO EAT, AND I MAKE MYSELF A BOWL OF SOUP OR EAT SOMETHING THAT IS LEFT OVER FROM THE DAY BEFORE.  I REALLY DON'T CARE IF I EAT OR NOT MOST OF THE TIME, BUT BETWEEN MY KIDS AND MY SISTER I DO NOT GO HUNGRY!!  I AM HAPPY WITH A GRILLED CHEESE OR JUST A BOWL OF SOUP, BUT I TRY AND GET AS MANY CALORIES INTO MIKE AS POSSIBLE, AS HE DOES NOT NEED TO LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT.  HE IS SO UNSTEADY ON HIS FEET RIGHT NOW-I GOT HIM A WALKER YESTERDAY.  WELL, THAT IS IT FOR ME ON THIS MONDAY AM.  SURE HOPE YOUR WEEKEND WAS FILLED WITH JOY-JUST ME

" THE DOGS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO JAIL "

MORE CRAZY STUFF MIKE SAYS-WHILE HE IS AWAKE!!  SOME OF IT FLOORS ME, LIKE WHEN HE SAID YESTERDAY "WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THEM".  MIKE NEVER TALKS LIKE THAT, AND HE JUST SAID IT OUT OF THE BLUE.  I WAS TRULY SHOCKED WHEN I ASKED HIM "WHO"?  HIS ANSWER WAS AS STRANGE AS HIS STATEMENT-"WHO EVER IS CHARGING US".   HE DOES KEEP ME ON MY TOES, I NEVER KNOW WHAT HE WILL COME OUT WITH NEXT!!  YESTERDAY WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY FOR MIKE, ALL IN ALL.  HE WAS UP BEFORE 10AM, AND HAD BREAKFAST WITH HOT CHOCOLATE, THEN HAD A P.& J. FOR LUNCH, AND PIZZA FOR DINNER.  WITH THE HELP OF HIS NEW APPETITE MEDS., HE HAS MANAGED TO PUT ON A FEW POUNDS-FINALLY!!  OUR DAUGHTER FONDA HELPED ME PUT HIM ON THE SCALE, AS HE COULD HARDLY STAND ON IT EVEN WITH ONE OF US ON EACH SIDE OF HIM. HE WAS AWAKE MORE YESTERDAY TOO, WHICH ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER-EVEN THOUGH I AM TOLD THAT WILL NOT BE THE CASE FOR LONG.  I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT HE WILL BE SLEEPING MORE AND MORE AS HIS BODY WEAKENS FROM THE BONE CANCER.  IN HIS CASE, I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT ALZHEIMER'S MAY BE A BLESSING.  HE NEVER SEEMS TO REMEMBER BEING IN ANY PAIN-SURE WISH I COULD SAY THAT!!  I HAVE NOT BEEN FEELING ALL THAT GREAT LATELY, AND I HAVE A STRANGE LUMP ON MY LEG THAT I JUST SAW LAST NIGHT.  GUESS THE CAREGIVER IS IN NEED OF SOME CARE.  I WILL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY PCP FOR WHEN OUR OTHER DAUGHTER FELINA COMES ON WEDS. OF NEXT WEEK TO WATCH HER DAD FOR ME.  IT IS JUST NOW 5:30 AM, AND I HAVE BEEN AWAKE AGAIN SINCE 3AM.. I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY, AS I AM POOPED WHEN I GO TO BED.  MY SISTER VICKIE BROUGHT OVER A DRAWING BOOK AND A SKETCH PAD FOR ME TO USE TO GET MY MIND OFF THINGS.  I USE TO LOVE TO DRAW WHEN I WAS YOUNGER-MAYBE THAT LOVE WILL RETURN-WHO KNOWS?   I'LL GIVE IT A TRY LATER TODAY-DEPENDING ON HOW THE DAY GOES WITH MIKE.  THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS FROM YESTERDAY'S POST-IT'S NICE TO KNOW PEOPLE ARE CHECKING UP ON US!!  I WAS REMINDED OF ONE THING THAT I HAD HEARD ABOUT PEOPLE WITH ALZHEIMER'S.  NEVER ASK THEM QUESTIONS, AS THEY WILL FEEL BADLY THAT THEY DON'T REMEMBER.  IT IS BETTER TO SHARE MEMORIES WITH THEM THROUGH PICTURES-JUST A THOUGHT.  SPEAKING OF PICTURES, WE HAD SEVERAL TAKEN A FEW MONTHS AGO WHEN MIKE JR. AND HIS FAMILY WERE IN TOWN.  WE WILL HAVE THE NEWEST FAMILY PICTURE WITH ALL THE GRAND KIDS (MINUS MINKA WHO WAS STILL IN HER MAMA'S BELLY AT THE TIME) HANGING IN THE LIVING ROOM SOON!! WELL, MIKE SLEEPS ON, AND I NEED MY COFFEE ABOUT NOW, SO TILL MONDAY, HAVE A SUPERB WEEK END-SPEND IT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE!!  JUST ME

ANOTHER SLEEPY DAY FOR MIKE

YESTERDAY THE ONLY TIME MIKE WAS SEMI AWAKE WAS WHEN HIS HOSPICE NURSE PEGGY WAS HERE AND I WOKE HIM UP SO SHE COULD CHECK HIS VITALS.  I ASKED HIM IF I COULD FIX HIM SOME BREAKFAST, AND HE SAID "O.K.".  WHEN I WENT BACK INTO THE BED ROOM TO TELL HIM HIS BREAKFAST WAS READY-HE WAS FAST ASLEEP AGAIN.  HE STAYED ASLEEP UNTIL AROUND 7PM.  WHEN HE GOT UP, HE SAID HE WAS NOT HUNGRY, SO I ASKED IF HE WOULD AT LEAST HAVE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE-TO WHICH HE SAID "YES".  I THOUGHT AT LEAST HE WILL HAVE SOME NOURISHMENT, AS I FIX IT WITH ENSURE, ADD SOME CHOCOLATE SYRUP, AND SOME MARSHMALLOWS, AND HE REALLY LIKES IT.  HE WILL NOT JUST DRINK THE ENSURE COLD OR HOT, SO I FOUND A WAY TO GET IT IN HIM THAT HE LIKES.  ANY HOW, AFTER THAT, HE DID EAT FOR ME, A BIG BOWL OF CHICKEN AND WHITE BEAN SOUP WITH SOME CRACKERS, A PIECE OF CARROT CAKE, AND HALF A BANANA.  THEN AROUND 9PM HE WANTED TO GO TO BED, SO I SAID "HOW ABOUT A DOVE BAR FIRST"? HE SAID "O.K." AND ATE THAT TOO BEFORE GOING TO BED.  ALL IN ALL, HE HAD QUITE A FEW CALORIES IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  I JUST DO NOT WANT HIM TO LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT, AS I AM SO AFRAID HE WILL FALL AND BREAK SOMETHING-I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT WOULD NOT BE A GOOD THING FOR HIM.  I FIND MY DAY WATCHING HIM SLEEP, AND SLOWLY SLIPPING AWAY FROM ME.  ALL OUR THREE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE IN THEIR OWN WAY, EACH HAS A SPECIAL GIFT TO OFFER. SOME ARE BLESSED TO HAVE MORE FINANCIALLY AND HAVE HELPED IN THAT WAY PLUS HAVE ALSO WORKED THEIR BUTTS OFF IN MORE WAYS THAN I CAN SAY TO HELP MIKE AND I.   IN ALL THREE CASES THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT IS EVIDENT.   I GREATLY APPRECIATE EACH ONE AS DOES MIKE FOR WHAT EVER WAY THEY ARE ABLE TO SHOW THEIR LOVE AND CONCERN.  IT REMINDS ME OF A PASSAGE IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT SPEAKS OF EVERY ONE HAVING DIFFERENT GIFTS AND IT ILLUSTRATES THAT BY USING THE BODY.   "THE EYE CAN NOT SAY TO THE HAND I HAVE NO NEED FOR YOU AND THE HEAD CAN NOT SAY TO THE FEET I HAVE NO NEED OF YOU.  BUT MUCH RATHER IT IS THE CASE THAT THE MEMBERS OF THE BODY WHICH SEEM TO BE WEAKER ARE NECESSARY" (1 CORINTHIANS 12:14-25).  WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR ME THIS AM.. I WILL ENJOY MY CUP OF YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE' AND WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, OR THOUGHTS FOR TODAY. HANG IN THERE-I WILL DO THE SAME!  JUST ME

MIXED UP DAY-HALF GOOD-HALF NOT SO GOOD

MIKE STARTED THE DAY OFF YESTERDAY VERY MUCH LIKE THE DAY BEFORE.  HE WAS UP BY 8AM, AND SEEMED IN GOOD SPIRITS.  HE ATE HIS BREAKFAST ALL GONE, AND THEN HE SAT OUT ON THE BACK PORCH FOR A BIT.  WHEN HE CAME IN, HE LOOKED TIRED, AND WANTED TO SIT IN HIS RECLINER.  I TRIED TO GIVE HIM SOME LUNCH FIRST, BUT HE DECLINED.  HE THEN FELL ASLEEP AROUND 11AM, AND STAYED ASLEEP (DESPITE NUMEROUS PHONE CALLS, T.V. BEING ON, AND THE DOGS BARKING) UNTIL ALMOST 7PM.  I BROUGHT HIM SOME DINNER TO HIS RECLINER, AND HE STAYED THERE TILL AROUND 9PM WATCHING THE MAGIC UNTIL HE CAME BACK TO BED.  IT IS EARLY (6AM), BUT HE IS SLEEPING NICELY, AND I COULDN'T STAY IN BED ANY LONGER.  BELIEVE ME, I DO TRY, BUT IT JUST ISN'T EASY FOR ME RIGHT NOW.  I USE TO BE SUCH A GOOD SLEEPER TOO-HOW THINGS CHANGE (WHETHER WE WANT THEM TO OR NOT).  TODAY MIKE'S HOSPICE NURSE PEGGY WILL BE HERE, AND I WILL SEE WHAT SHE MAKES OF THE WHOLE SITUATION.  SHE HAS BEEN SO HELPFUL-NOW I FEEL IT WAS A GOOD CALL TO BRING HOSPICE ON BOARD-EVEN THOUGH I WAS AGAINST IT AT FIRST.  OH, HERE IS A LITTLE UPDATE ABOUT THE CHIHUAHUA I GOT FOR MY NEIGHBOR WHO LIVES ALONE AND REALLY NEEDED A PET.  SHE HAS TAKEN TO BUDDY (DOGS NAME), AND EVEN THOUGH HE IS STILL AFRAID OF HIS OWN SHADOW, HE NOW IS STARTING TO TRUST HER, AND SHE TOLD ME THAT HE NOW FOLLOWS HER ALL AROUND THE HOUSE, AND IS EATING REALLY GOOD FOR HER.  I WAS SO RELIEVED AND HAPPY FOR THEM BOTH.  I WAS HOPING THINGS WOULD WORK OUT THIS WAY, AS THEY BOTH NEED A LOT OF LOVE.  WELL, THAT IS IT FOR ME THIS AM, EVEN MY YUMMY CAFE' CON LECHE' HAS NOT PERKED ME UP THIS AM.  SO TILL TOMORROW MY DEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS-LOVE, LAUGH, AND ENJOY THIS DAY.  JUST ME

BEST DAY FOR MIKE-WORSE NIGHT FOR ME!!

I THINK I MUST HAVE EATEN SOMETHING THAT GAVE ME FOOD POISONING YESTERDAY, BECAUSE I HAD SEVERE CRAMPS AND SPENT THE NIGHT ON AND OFF THE POTTY.  I WAS SO NAUSEATED THAT I TOOK ONE OF MIKE'S STRONG PILLS FOR THAT, AS I HATE TO UPCHUCK!!  THANKFULLY IT ALL CAME OUT IN THE END (OK-PUN INTENDED)!!  ANY HOW, MIKE DID SO WELL YESTERDAY-IT WAS ALMOST LIKE HE WAS HIS OLD SELF AGAIN.  HE WAS UP BY 8AM, AND WENT OUTSIDE TO SWEEP UP SOME LEAVES. I FIXED HIM SOME BREAKFAST, AND HE ATE AND DRANK ALL OF IT.  HE WENT BACK OUTSIDE AGAIN A LITTLE LATER AND SWEPT UP SOME MORE LEAVES-THEN CAME IN ASKING WHAT WAS FOR LUNCH!!!  HE ATE ALL THREE MEALS YESTERDAY, AND ONLY HAD ABOUT A 10 MIN. NAP.  HE WAS UP UNTIL ALMOST 11PM!!  NOW HE IS UP EARLY AGAIN, DRINKING HIS HOT CHOCOLATE ON THE BACK PORCH.  MAYBE THOSE PILLS HIS HOSPICE NURSE GAVE HIM REALLY ARE MAGIC PILLS!!!  THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLED THEM, AND THEY SEEM TO BE IN HIS SYSTEM NOW, AND DOING MUCH GOOD.   WHAT A ROLLER COASTER RIDE THIS IS.  ONE DAY THEY SAY HE COULD BE PASSING, AND THE NEXT HE IS LIKE THE ENERGISER BUNNY AGAIN!!  LAST NIGHT HE DID START SAYING THINGS THAT MADE NO SENSE AGAIN, BUT AT LEAST I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING.  WELL, I AM SO GLAD WE HAVE NO PLANS FOR TODAY, OR ANY DR.'S VISITS.  IT IS MY STUDY DAY, AND I HOPE MY GIANT HEAD ACHE WILL ALLOW ME TO DO THAT.  HOPE YOU HAVE NO HEADACHES TODAY, OR IF YOU DO-THEY WILL BE ETTY BITTY ONES!!  JUST ME

WORST DAY FOR MIKE SO FAR!

MIKE WAS EATING HIS CEREAL AROUND NOON WHEN HE GOT UP, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND ANY THING HE SAID.  IT WAS LIKE BLA BLA BLA-AND IT MADE NO SENSE.  I ASKED HIM A COUPLE QUESTIONS, AND AT FIRST HE WOULD RESPOND WITH THE SAME KIND OF SOUND (BLA BLA BLA), BUT AFTER THE SECOND OR THIRD QUESTION, HE DID NOT ANSWER ME AT ALL.  HE JUST CONTINUED TO EAT HIS CEREAL WITH OUT LIFTING UP HIS HEAD OR LOOKING AT ME. HE DID THAT EVEN AFTER HIS CEREAL WAS GONE!!  HE KEPT PUTTING HIS SPOON IN THE BOWL AND THEN TO HIS MOUTH AS IF THERE WAS STILL SOME CEREAL LEFT.   I CALLED MY SISTER VICKIE TO COME OVER (SHE LIVES ACROSS THE STREET), TO SEE IF SHE COULD GET HIM TO TALK, BUT SHE COULD NOT, SO I HAD TO CALL IN HOSPICE.  THEY SCARED ME BY SAYING HE MAY BE STARTING TO PASS, SO I CALLED MY DAUGHTER FONDA (HER HUSBAND IS A PA), AND ASKED THEM TO COME OVER, AS HOSPICE WAS SENDING A TRIAGE NURSE OVER RIGHT AWAY.  WELL, BEFORE EITHER OF THEM GOT HERE, MIKE SLOWLY BEGAN TO SPEAK AGAIN.  IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.  HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE HAD JUST PUT ME THROUGH-MY NERVES WERE SHOT.  AFTER THE NURSE CHECKED HIM OUT, THE ONLY CONCLUSION WAS HE PROBABLY HAD A MINI STROKE.  SO SCARY!!  MIKE HAS BEEN SLEEPING MORE AND MORE LATELY.  THURS. HE WAS IN BED UNTIL 4PM OR SO, FRIDAY TILL ALMOST 6PM, AND SAT. I GOT HIM UP AT 4PM SO WE COULD GO TO MY SISTER'S FOR DINNER.  EACH OF THOSE DAYS HE ONLY HAD ONE MEAL, AND THEN ONLY ATE REALLY WELL AT DINNER ON SAT..  HE IS NOT UP YET, SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TODAY WILL BE LIKE-I SURE HOPE IT WILL BE BETTER THAN YESTERDAY.  I KNOW HIS TIME IS SLIPPING AWAY, AND I CAN HARDLY BARE TO SEE THIS ONCE TALL HEFTY MAN BECOME SO FRAIL BEFORE MY EYES.  IT HURTS TO SEE HIM TRY AND WALK KNOWING HOW MUCH PAIN HE MUST BE IN.  HE ALMOST FELL YESTERDAY WHICH ALSO GAVE ME QUITE THE SCARE.  HE IS USING HIS CANE, AND ALSO HOLDS ON TO THE WALL WHEN HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE BATH ROOM OR TABLE, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT IS ENOUGH ANY MORE.  I WILL SEE IF HIS NURSE CAN ORDER A WALKER FOR HIM WHEN SHE COMES ON WEDS..  MIKE WANTED TO GO TO BED BY 8PM LAST NIGHT, SO I WENT TO BED WITH HIM.  I HELD HIS HAND UNTIL HE FELL ASLEEP.  LATELY I'M GLAD WHEN HE IS SLEEPING BECAUSE I KNOW HE IS NOT IN ANY PAIN.  THIS JOURNEY IS MUCH HARDER THEN I EVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. OUR NUMBER OF DAYS ARE NOT FOR US TO DECIDE-I JUST PRAY THAT MINE ARE LONG ENOUGH TO BE HERE FOR AS LONG AS MIKE NEEDS ME.  SPEAKING OF DAYS, IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL ONE HERE IN ORLANDO-HOPE IT'S BEAUTIFUL WHERE YOU ARE TOO!!  TILL TOMORROW-JUST ME

" DID OUR DOGS KILL THAT"?

MIKE WAS POINTING TO A STUFFED SQURILL AT THE TIME.  HE HAS BEEN SAYING AND ASKING SO MANY STRANGE QUESTIONS (WHENEVER HE'S AWAKE) FOR THE PAST COUPLE DAYS, THAT I AM CONCERNED THAT EITHER THE ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN WORSE, OR THE BONE CANCER IS SOMEHOW AFFECTING HIS BRAIN.  HE SLEPT MOST OF THE DAY YESTERDAY, AND THEN WHEN HE WAS AWAKE, HE WANTED TO SIT OUTSIDE ON THE BACK PORCH (AND DID SO) FOR HOURS.  HE EVEN FELL ASLEEP WHILE SITTING IN THE PATIO CHAIR.  HE ASKED ME AT DINNER TIME IF MIKE JR. WAS GOING TO BE GOING HOME TODAY.  I REMINDED HIM THAT MIKE JR. LEFT YESTERDAY, AND WAS ALREADY HOME.  THERE WAS ALSO SOME KIND OF MALFUNCTION WITH HIS OSTOMY BAG YESTERDAY, AND MY DEAR SISTER VICKIE WASHED  THE COMFORTER AND SHEETS IN HER NEW WASHER, AS IT IS MUCH BIGGER THAN MINE.  I WANTED TO GO TO MY MEETING LAST NIGHT, BUT BECAUSE OF THE WAY MIKE HAS BEEN ACTING THE PAST FEW DAYS I JUST DID NOT FEEL LIKE I SHOULD LEAVE HIM.  MIKE B. SAID HE WOULD WATCH HIM ANOTHER THUS. THIS MONTH, SO THAT I CAN STILL MAKE AT LEAST TWO OF MY THURS. NIGHT MEETINGS (BARRING ANY OTHER CHANGES).  NOW FOR THE CRAZIEST THING I HAVE DONE IN A LONG LONG WHILE.  I RESCUED A LITTLE CHIHUAHUA YESTERDAY (1 YEAR OLD).  I REALLY GOT IT FOR MY NEIGHBOR MARTHA WHO WANTS AND  NEEDS A PET TO KEEP HER COMPANY.  I AM KEEPING IT FOR A COUPLE DAYS JUST TO MAKE SURE IT IS POTTY TRAINED, DOESN'T BARK AT EVERYTHING, AND WILL BE A GOOD FIT FOR HER.  THE PROBLEM IS, MY TWO DOGS ARE FACINATED WITH HIM, AND STARE AT HIM FOR HOURS ON END.  BUDDY-THE DOGIES NAME, WILL NOT COME OUT OF IT'S  CAGE NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TRIED, AND I LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN.  LAST NIGHT I HAD TO TURN THE CAGE UPSIDE DOWN TO GET BUDDY OUT SO THAT HE COULD GO POTTY IN THE YARD.  THEN I SPENT HALF AN HOUR CHASING HIM DOWN (HE IS LIGHTNING FAST) TO GET HIM BACK IN HIS CAGE, AND BACK IN THE HOUSE.  THIS AM, HE IS STILL IN HIS CAGE, AND AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, HAS NOT EATEN A THING.  I MAY HAVE TO TAKE HIM BACK IF THINGS DO NOT IMPROVE GREATLY TODAY.  I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING-I AM A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT-YOU MUST BE RIGHT!!  HAVE A SUPERB WEEK END, AND WE WILL TRY AND DO THE SAME-JUST ME

"ARE WE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN YET"?

MIKE SAID THIS OUT OF NO WHERE YESTERDAY, AMONG OTHER THINGS.  LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS GOING TO GIVE HIM SOME DINNER HE SAID "I'LL EAT WHEN I WAKE UP", HE WAS WIDE AWAKE!! THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW WHO ALL THE PEOPLE WERE THAT WERE IN OUR HOUSE YESTERDAY.  I TOLD HIM WE HAD MIKE JR. FELINA, JAKKI, FONDA,  AND THE MAN WHO FIXED OUR WASHER DRAIN.  HE SAID, "BUT I WASN'T THERE RIGHT"?  IT IS BREAKING MY HEART TO SEE HIM FADING AWAY.  HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF TIME. WHEN HE ASKS ME WHAT TIME IT IS, HE WILL THEN SAY "IS IT NIGHT TIME OR IS IT MORNING"?  HE IS FAST ASLEEP RIGHT NOW, AND I AM THANKFUL, AS WHEN HE IS SLEEPING I KNOW HE IS NOT IN ANY PAIN AT ALL.   I ON THE OTHER HAND AM HAVING A HARDER AND HARDER TIME GETTING ANY SLEEP.  WHEN I AM IN BED WITH MIKE, I KEEP CHECKING TO SEE IF HE IS OK.  LAST NIGHT HE WAS SWEATING LIKE CRAZY AGAIN, BUT IT WAS COOL IN THE ROOM.  NOT SURE WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT.  NURSE PEGGY WAS HERE YESTERDAY, AND SHE CHANGED THE DOSAGE OF HIS PAIN PATCH TO 100MG, IT WAS 50MG BEFORE.  THAT WILL ARRIVE BY FED-X SOMETIME THIS AM.  MIKE IS HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME WALKING I KNOW HIS LEGS MUST BE KILLING HIM, BUT WHEN YOU ASK HIM HOW HE'S DOING-HE ALWAYS SAYS "I'M FINE".  HE IS EATING A LITTLE BETTER NOW.  HE HAD A GOOD BREAKFAST YESTERDAY, BUT DID NOT WANT ANY LUNCH.  HE DID EAT A BIG BOWL OF CHILI LAST NIGHT, WITH SOME CHEESE ON TOP, AND SOME SALTINE CRACKERS.  I AM HOPING AND PRAYING THAT HE IS DOING BETTER TODAY, OTHER WISE I WILL NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE LEAVING HIM WITH MIKE B. WHILE I GO TO MY MEETING.  I WILL HAVE TO SEE HOW HE IS ONCE HE GETS UP.  I HOPE THIS DAY WILL BRING JOY TO ALL-WE SURE CAN USE SOME-JUST ME