LEGS GIVING MIKE A REALLY HARD TIME AGAIN.

I KEEP RUBBING THE CREAM THAT HOSPICE GAVE US, BUT IT IS HELPING LESS AND LESS, AS HIS CONDITION WORSENS. HE IS NOW ON THE HIGHEST DOSAGE OF THAT CREAM AS WELL, SO I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO PUT IT ON HIM MORE OFTEN.   IT HURTS ME TO WATCH HIM TRY AND WALK AROUND THE DOGIES OR WHATEVER IS IN HIS PATH.  IT'S LIKE HE HAS TO SHUFFLE HIS BACK SOME HOW-IT LOOKS ODD, AND I AM SURE IT IS NOT COMFORTABLE FOR HIM.  HE KEEPS ASKING WHEN MIKE JR. WILL BE HERE, SO I KNOW HE IS HAPPY AND LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM.  YESTERDAY HE WOULD START TO SAY SOMETHING, AND THEN JUST STOP IN MID SENTENCE.  HE IS ALSO HAVING TROUBLE  SAYING THE THINGS HE IS THINKING, AND READING IS VERY HARD (ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE) FOR HIM AT THIS POINT.  AT THE HALL I USE MY FINGER TO POINT EACH WORD OF THE SONG WE ARE SINGING SO THAT HE CAN FOLLOW ALONG-OTHER WISE HE GETS LOST ESPECIALLY IF THE SONG IS FAST PACED.  MIKE IS STILL IN BED, AND I WAS THERE TILL 8AM!!  THAT'S THE MOST SLEEP I HAVE HAD IN DAYS!!  I HAD TO LISTEN TO MY MEETING AGAIN LAST NIGHT (NO ONE TO WATCH MIKE FOR ME), BUT NEXT WEEK, MIKE B. WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH MIKE, SO I CAN GO-YIPPEE!!!  I SURE DO MISS ALL MY FRIENDS AND GOING OUT IN SERVICE ON A REGULAR BASIS LIKE I USE TO DO.  THINGS SURE HAVE A WAY OF CHANGING, AND SO MUCH IS OUT OF OUR CONTROL.  I FIND IT HARD TO BREATHE AT TIMES, BUT THEN I JUST SAY A PRAYER,  AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN GO ON.  MIKE WANTS SO MUCH TO GET BETTER, AND HE TRIES SO HARD TO WORK HIS LEGS.  HE DID SOME RAKING AGAIN YESTERDAY, AND EVEN THOUGH I HATE TO SEE HIM STRUGGLING OUT THERE, I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT HE IS DOING WHAT HE LOVES MOST.  I AM HAPPY THAT HE IS ABLE TO SLEEP ALL NIGHT WITH OUT ANY PAIN (HE NEVER GROANS IN PAIN WHEN HE MOVES LIKE HE USE TO), WHICH IS SUCH A BLESSING.  HE SAID SOMETHING KINDA FUNNY YESTERDAY TOO.  HE HAD REALLY HURT HIS HAND AGAIN GETTING THE RAKE OUT OF THE GARAGE.  I TOLD HIM THAT WHEN FONDA SEES IT SHE WILL HAVE A FIT.  WELL OF COURSE SHE DID, SO HE SAID "I THINK I LOST SOME POINTS WITH MY DAUGHTER".  I'M LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  HE SAID-THE HAND-SHE WAS SO UPSET WITH ME BECAUSE OF THE HAND. SO CUTE.  I TOLD HIM HE WILL NEVER LOSE ANY POINTS WITH FONDA-DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!! THEN HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO TO MAKE THAT LARGE REDDISH BRUISE GO AWAY.  I JUST SAID IT WILL TAKE TIME, LIKE WITH ANY OTHER BRUISE, BUT I HAVE BEEN PUTTING SALVE ON IT, SO MAYBE BY THE NEXT TIME FONDA SEES HIM IT WILL BE LESS NOTICEABLE.  WELL, I'M READY TO FACE THE COLD CRUEL WORLD NOW-HOPE YOU ARE TOO!!  JUST ME