SLEEPING A LITTLE BETTER-BACK STILL HURTS

I DON'T KNOW WHY THE EPIDURAL DID NOT WORK AS WELL FOR ME AS THE LAST ONES.  I'M NOT SURE IF I WANT TO TRY AGAIN, OR JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE.  I GET THE SHOTS BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE HAVING TO TAKE ANY KIND OF DRUGS FOR PAIN.  I KNOW HOW EASY THEY ARE TO BECOME ADDICTED TO AND I DON'T WANT THAT FOR ME.  I WILL CALL MY DR. IN A DAY OR TWO, AND SEE WHAT HE SUGGEST.  IN THE MEAN TIME I AM TRYING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT PEOPLE I LOVE WHO ARE  GOING THROUGH SOME HARD TIMES THEMSELVES.  WE OFTEN GET INTO THIS COCOON WHERE WE JUST THINK ABOUT OUR PAIN, OUR SADNESS, OUR LOSSES, WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE ALL AROUND US ARE DEALING WITH SO MUCH MORE.  I REALLY WANT TO TRY HARDER TO BE THE ONE WHO OFFERS ENCOURAGEMENT-AND NOT THE ONE NEEDING IT ALL THE TIME.  I DID GET TO MY P.C.P. DR. YESTERDAY AND SHE DREW SOME BLOOD, AND WILL CHECK THINGS LIKE MY THYROID LEVEL, AND VIT. B LEVEL TO SEE IF THAT IS WHAT HAS ME IN A BIT OF A SLUMP.  I THOUGHT I HAD BEEN DOING SO WELL, BUT I GUESS MY GRIEVING FOR MIKE IS STILL IN PROGRESS.  I DO NEED TO GET BUSY TRYING TO GET DONATIONS FOR THE GIFT BASKET THAT WE RAFFLE OFF FOR THE ALZHEIMER'S WALK  IN OCT..  MY DAUGHTER FONDA WAS ABLE TO GET A FANTASTIC SALON TO DONATE A HAIR COLOR, CUT, AND STYLE FOR THE GIFT BASKET.  WE TRY AND GET AS MANY NICE GIFTS AS WE CAN, SO PEOPLE WILL WANT TO BUY THE RAFFLE TICKETS AND HOPE TO WIN IT.  LAST YEAR IT WAS WORTH OVER $3,000.!!  DESPITE THE FACT THAT FONDA STILL MISSES HER DAD SO MUCH-AS DO WE ALL,  I FEEL SINCE SHE WAS THE ONE WHO SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH HIM THAT IT IS A LITTLE HARDER ON HER.THAN THE REST OF US.  YESTERDAY SHE SAID SHE NEEDED ONE OF DADDY'S HUGS, SO I TOLD HER TO CLOSE HER EYES, AND STAND UP, AND I PUT ON MIKE'S FAVORITE JACKET AND HUGGED HER AS BEST I COULD-WE BOTH CRIED.  MIKE HAD THE BEST HUGS, AND NOW, HIS SON DOES A GREAT JOB WITH THAT TOO.  WELL, THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR ME TODAY.  I DO HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT SO I NEED TO GET A MOVE ON FOR THAT. SURE HOPE YOUR DAY IS FILLED WITH HUGS AND LOVE-JUST ME