FIGHTING BACK TEARS ALL DAY

I THINK IT WAS A COMBINATION OF THINGS THAT HAD ME SO STRESSED YESTERDAY.  JUST THE DAY BEFORE, I PAID FOR MIKE'S CREMATION AND HIS URN, WHICH WAS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME.  ALSO I AM STILL SUFFERING FROM THIS HEAD COLD OR SINUS INFECTION AND WAS DIZZY AND NAUSEATED.  BESIDES ALL THAT, MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS THROUGH THE ROOF (186/105).  ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS PLEASE GOD DO NOT LET ME DIE FIRST.  I KEPT THINKING (WRONG THING TO DO I KNOW) ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MIKE IF I DIED BEFORE HIM.  IT WAS NOT PRETTY.  I KNOW HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE A LOT, AND MOST LIKELY HOSPICE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE A MORE ACTIVE ROLL WHICH MEANS THAT HE WOULD THEN KNOW HIS TRUE HEALTH CONDITION.  IT WAS NOT EASY, BUT I FINALLY PULLED MY SELF TOGETHER, AND GOT MIKE INTO THE BATH TUB FOR A BUBBLE BATH.  HE REALLY ENJOYS THAT LITTLE CONTRAPTION I GOT FOR HIM-I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.  I DID CALL MY SISTER FIRST BECAUSE OF MY B.P. AND THEN I CALLED ART.  ART GAVE ME SOME GOOD INFORMATION WHICH I HEEDED TO THE LETTER, AND WAS ABLE TO FINALLY GET SOME SLEEP LAST NIGHT.  IT IS JUST PAST 11AM, AND MIKE IS STILL RESTING.   WE DID LISTEN TO OUR MEETING LAST NIGHT, AND THAT ALSO HELPED TO CALM ME DOWN.  WE BOTH SAID "AMEN" AT THE END, AND THEN I TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS.  MIKE STILL SAYS FUNNY THINGS AT NIGHT EITHER JUST BEFORE HE IS SOUND ASLEEP OR JUST AFTER HE IS IN A DREAMLIKE STATE.  LAST NIGHT HE WANTED TO KNOW IF I GOT ALL THE MONEY. I ASKED HIM ALL WHAT MONEY? BUT THEN THE GIBBERISH TALK STARTED AND I COULD NOT MAKE OUT HEADS NOR TAILS OF WHAT HE WAS SAYING-SO I JUST SAY "UN HUH".  WELL, IT'S TIME TO GET MIKE UP AND START HIS DAY, SO TILL TOMORROW-MAY YOUR DAY BE FILLED ONLY WITH HAPPINESS.  JUST ME